All comics by niobe

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by niobe
4-28-03
Bob is a little behind in payments
Dear Sir, you haven't paid your bill in 11 years. Instead of cutting you off we stole your cat. Love, the phone company.
Bob thought long and hard about all his options
I had a cat?
And decided to be responsible
Here kitty kitty

 

by niobe
4-28-03
You know, from the moment I met you I loved you
Me too sweetheart. I want to be with you forever
Hmm, I never noticed that Pete has no expression in his face...
She's so boring that I lost all expression in my face...
What are you, a ROBOT? It's over you freak.
Freak, like a FOX!

 

by niobe
4-29-03
Bob is having a bad day
you know, sitting in a trash can doesn't cheer me up like it used to
Maybe you should try something new.
The little robot gives him good advice
Hmm, maybe you're right. Like what?
MAHHH.....I mean, take a trip or something.
We now understand why Bob has bad days
Um, dude....I think you misunderstood me.
I can see through time.

 

by niobe
5-01-03
Ahh, snowman....we meet again.
Yes, my arch nemisis.....fire. How've you been?
Not bad really....burned a family in Denver last week
You bitch! I'll see you in hell!
I somehow doubt that.

 

by niobe
9-10-03
Bob is feeling bored
Should prepare myself for when they cancel Friends?
He asks loser Kate for a suggestion
I'd help you figure out something to do but I can't imagine my life without Phoebe right now..
I understand. Hmm...
So Bob turns to religion
Why does it always come down to this?
God please don't cancel Friends...

 

by niobe
11-16-03
Josh hadn't seen Sandy in a while
Sandy, there's something different about you..
I'm no longer oppressed by THE MAN, Josh. I freed my mind.
Hmm. No...that's not it
Yes it is. Stop being a slave to society. Simplify man. Live outside the box.
Josh realized that Sandy just stopped wearing deoderant
Where are you going? Stop running from the truth, man. You're living a lie.
Shine on you crazy diamond....

 

by niobe
11-17-03
Billy wasn't fitting in the Boy Scouts
I've never heard of a ninja fighting badge..
Scout Leader Sam gives him some motivation.
Ok Billy, that ninja really kicked your ass. This is your last chance...
do all scout leaders have to drink at 10am?
Billy failed the last test of capturing Scout Leader Sam's will to live.
Oh boy...now I'll never be a man.

 

by niobe
11-17-03
Greg's brother started taking his love of journalism too seriously.
i go away for one weekend...
He went downstairs to express his concern.
uhh, does this mean I failed the audition?
Greg forgave his brother for being gay and crazy.
This just in. Greg is naked.
i told you to get out of my room

 

by niobe
11-18-03
Grade 1
I learned that getting to the swings first was more important than christmas.
Grade 2
Best friends were the ones you played with at recess.
Grade 3
Boys are totally weird.

 

by niobe
11-18-03
Grade 4
I learned that teachers are really mean aliens.
Grade 5
Turning your back on friends makes you a loser.
Grade 6
Recess stopped being cool.

 

by niobe
11-18-03
Grade 7
Best friends are the ones that get in trouble with you.
Grade 8
Leaving friends is harder on you than you thought.
Grade 9
Making up excuses for being late is more rewarding than just being on time.

 

by niobe
11-18-03
Grade 10
Boys are still totally weird. But you love one anyways.
Grade 11
Goofing around with your best friends is the meaning of life.
Grade 12
Math is something the devil came up with for people who still have souls.

 

by niobe
11-18-03
Grade 13
Saying goodbye to people happens but is still as hard.
Yah
1st Year
Sometimes you can meet people you never thought existed.
Who are just like you.
2nd Year
Words are so important.

 

by niobe
11-18-03
3rd Year
Words aren't so important.
People change. But only on the outside.
Friends are still the most important thing.
Saying good bye is only as hard as you make it.

 

by niobe
11-19-03
Romeo's been a little cry baby lately.
Dude, I can't get over this chick Rosaline.
What kind of name is Rosaline? Fuck that shit, let's go to a party!
He met a girl there and they liked eachother right away.
Wow, Julie you're so hot. Why does your dad hate me?
I don't know, he's on medication. It's wack.
They tried to be with eachother anyway, but fucked it up.
Ah shit, I'm about to die.
Me too.

 

by niobe
11-21-03
The Romans started some shit with the Greeks, so our hero went to sort it out.
Hey, where are you going?
To Troy with the boys, I'll be home later.
The hero gets lost on his way home and sleeps with strange women.
I've figured it out and Dad's been gone about 10 years....think we should worry?
You don't say. Hey, kid...where's your mom at? She's been lookin good.
20 years later.
You're home at last! Thanks for brutally murdering all those guys in the house.
Ya that was good times but I gotta get going again. You know how it is baby.

 

by niobe
2-18-04
You know, Captain, me and the crew here think you've become a little obsessed with this white whale...
I'll fuckin cut you if you talk about my wife like that again
Uh, no...I was talking about Moby Dick. That whale that took your leg. You swore blood-thirsy vengence...
Riiiight, that totally rings a bell. I HATE THAT WHALE!
Yup, the ship has definitely sunk Ahab.
I don't even fucking care, did you SEE how while that whale was? It was unnatural.

 

by niobe
2-21-04
Hey Ann, guess who I just saw.
better not be that fucking warewolf
The fucking warewolf! He was making out with Gina Silvestri in line at Taco Bell.
That's hilarious! I told you, dont date a warewolf.
You slept with him, didn't you?
just once.

 

by niobe
2-21-04
Ann discovers her break lines have been cut.
What the fuck...? Dammit!
She calls up her friend
Hey Andrea, can you come pick me up? That fucking warwolf cut my breaks.
Ugh really? He stole my stapler today too! I'll be right there.
Then calls a lawyer
So basically, you're saying a warewolf tried to kill you....and stole a stapler from your friends desk?
I'm also pretty sure he's responsible for my grandmothers glaucoma. If that helps..

 

by niobe
2-21-04
I'm so angst filled. Being a rich teen in California is worse than death.
Nobody understands!
You should be doing your homework, Peter.
God Mom, I just can't handle this right now. I'm going to chill at April's house. She "gets" me.
Oh no, Peter has gone to April's house. What are we going to do about this?
He's already been there once already! I'm calling the police.

 

by niobe
2-21-04
Now Peter, I know you're upset we called the police but you left us no choice. We love you.
You're not even my real dad!
Sandy, are we bad parents? I think I'm going to start drinking again.
I didn't know what to do so I gave him 500 dollars.
My feelings are hurt. I am going to get back at them tomorrow when I wake up!

 

by niobe
2-21-04
Hey Pete!!
I think I love her, but I'm not going to say anything.
Sooo...you going to that dance?
Uh no, I think I'm just going to sit on the beach and contemplate how to escape this hell hole.
Oh..uhm, ok. I guess I'll say yes to Chad then.
Oh no, my best friend. My life is even more ruined!

 

by niobe
2-21-04
Donna, I'm so totally freaking out about the dance. I'm going with Chad but, I like Pete.
I so totally know what you mean, like, it's all I can think about!
God, she's so beautiful I can't even look at her.
Hey! So you made it after all...
I dunno Donna. He wouldn't even look at me....*sob*
Your life is practically over April. If I wasn't so weak from my eating disorders I'd give you a hug.

 

by niobe
2-21-04
Peter you got a B on your report card. Is everything ok?
Stop interrogating me! I saw you drinking again. YOU BROKE THAT RULE!!!! *cries*
Hey Pete...you look down, want to catch a movie with me and my unrealistically hot friends?
I'd like to but with all this money in my pockets it'd be painful to sit down for that long.
God I hate this show
*thinks about kissing him but doesn't do it* Sigh.
This is the worst day of my life. This must be what it was like to be a Jew during the Holocaust.

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