All comics by niteowl

Profile

 

by niteowl
6-11-01
*giggle*
*snicker*
What's your problem, buddy?!?!?
Hey....want some M&M's? Some Skittles maybe?
Oh, don't EVEN go there....

 

by niteowl
6-11-01
Oh yeah...Gotta love them chatrooms...such interesting people!
"hEya.z bAbeh.z...r u a haw.t momma?!?"
Oh great. Here we go with the cybersex again. It's bad enough he's destroyed my keyboard 3 times because of this cyber shit.
"i.z 18 yeAr.z old wiT a biG pEni.z an i hA.z a kiK a.Zz fErRaRi"
Too bad the Ferrari was made by Hot Wheels.
"lEt.z sEe.z a nAkiE piC bAbEh.z LOL.z"
That's it. He types one more ".z", and I blue screen his ass.

 

by niteowl
6-11-01
"Welcome to Google.com!"
"Searched the web for God. Results 1 - 10 of about 22,000,000."
"Searched the web for Satan. Results 1 - 10 of about 1,230,000."
I need a better PR team.

 

by niteowl
6-13-01
Scott Stevens gets an earful...
Sooo Mr. Stevens....where the hell were you in the Finals, huh? You were spilling the other teams' blood all playoffs long!
Uhh..It was that damn Mario Lemieux in the 3rd round! He lulled me to sleep with his slow-motion skatin...AAAAH!
Martin Brodeur feels the pain....
Well Martin, you sure let in some softies in the Finals...
I couldn't concentrate. I knew ESPN was showing my wife in the stands every 5 minutes....OH SHITTT!
Meanwhile, Lou Lamoriello is spared...Again.
Lou, it's simple. Go get that Satan guy from Buffalo. Anyone with a name like that has to be good...And get rid of that putz Sutton already, will ya?
Yes Master, Yes Master...Get Satan...Get Satan...

 

by niteowl
6-13-01
"He had that murderous look in his eyes. He felt the need to kill."
"He needed to unleash his anger upon the world..."
"...he headed for the open road to find another victim."
Car commercials sure are getting weird lately.

 

by niteowl
7-27-01
Life is like a box of chocolates....

 

by niteowl
7-27-01
And now MTV Presents, some never before seen footage of interviews of...
Hi! Oh my God I'm like so glad to be here! I'm Gwen. I have great people skills, because I work in a deli you know, and I can cry at the drop of a hat!
some of the people who didn't quite make the cut on The Real World.
Sure I may be 47, but I think I'm hip and I'd fit in. That Eminem guy can really sing!
I wonder why.
Uh, I just wanna get laid.

 

by niteowl
7-27-01
Coming this fall, The ultimate reality TV show called At Home! Peek into the lives of a normal american family, Mom, Dad, and their 3 month old baby.
Oh yeah!
Watch normal people make those tough decisions, like Dad debating whether to whack off to Playboy, or surf the Net for his porn fix!
Awesome!!!
And here's Mom, changing Junior's poopy diaper!
Wow...Wonder if it'll be green or yellow?!?!?

 

by niteowl
2-10-02
Even company cutbacks have hit in hell...
I know you're been a faithful servant for many years, Reaper...but I'm afraid that we're going to have to let you go.
What the hell? Why?
Well, to be brutally honest, your job performance has been lacking lately. This Mariah Carey thing...She was prime for the taking! Plus, you make way too much $, and we want to cut expenses.
Are you out of your fucking mind? Who's gonna replace me?
Reaper, meet Captain Dingleberry. He's a people person, and I'm paying him minimum wage.
Well hello there! I may look like a pretty boy, but I'm tough as nails. M-o-o-n, that spells nails!

 

by niteowl
2-15-02
Alright Captain, first job...Head on up to Minnesota and nab that niteowl character who makes comic strips at Stripcreator...He makes a lot of comics regarding us down here.
Ooh Yay...My first job! How tough is this gonna be?
Not very...It seems he's willing to sell his soul for a carton of Marlboro's, a win in his fantasy hockey pool this year, and a naked picture of Salma Hayek. Easy pickins'.
Alrighty! Captain Dingleberry to the rescue!
The meeting between Captain and niteowl...
Your soul is mine! BWAHAHA! Prepare to meet the master of evil!
And who would that be? Ricky Martin?

 

by niteowl
2-15-02
Alright, so who the hell are you? By the way, nice suit pal.
Why I'm Captain Dingleberry, Satan's new right hand man. The old reaper got fired. I'm tough! I'm mean! RARRR!
Haha! Um, you sure don't look like much of a reaper...so what the fuck do you want with me?
My boss thinks that you would be an easy catch, seeing as how you make a lot of comics about him and evil and so forth....that getting your soul would be easy.
So c'mon you punk...don't make this any harder than it has to be. Don't make me crush your little skull!
Uh, if *your boss* wants a soul, he oughta look around this neighborhood a little more. Plenty of tainted freaks around here in the ghetto.

 

by niteowl
2-15-02
Ok, just because I make a couple comics regarding Satan, that doesn't make me some kind of devil worshipper...go find another fool who's willing to sell his soul.
Psst...I have naked pics of Salma Hayek...
Nice try, fucker.
How about Anna Kournikova? J-Lo? Baby Spice?
What the fuck, I have the Internet. I can get whatever nudie pics I want. Who does your research on potentials?
Well shit. DAMN THE INTERNET! DAMN IT TO HELL!

 

by niteowl
2-15-02
The Captain continues to try and negotiate...
I've got to get rid of this bastard, he's almost as annoying as my neighbors around here...
...Pam Anderson? She's nice eh? Ok, How about some cigarettes? What about your fantasy hockey team? I could help you win...
*FART*
...I know Brodeur and Kolzig totally screwed up your goalie situation and...uh...what's that smell? ACK! GAS MASK! GAS MASK!
Hah! Bye bye! Take your sorry ass back to hell! I should've done that sooner.
ROTTEN EGG FART! FUCK! I GOTTA GET OUT OF HERE!

 

by niteowl
2-15-02
Back in Hell, The Captain pays the price for running away...
Well, I can see I made a mistake in sending a rookie up for a simple soul stealing. You are the weakest link, bitch. Later.
I couldn't breathe....I....AHHH!!
Later, The (real) Reaper is welcomed back into the fold.
I see you finally came to your senses, huh? By the way, I will be expecting a raise.
Yeah yeah yeah, don't rub it in. Just remember who you're talking to pal. And yes, I was wrong in letting good help like you go.
And they all live happily ever after.
Hey, what was with that Weakest Link stuff before? Want me to go nab the host of that show? She seems evil enough.
No way, she's too evil. She'd end up taking over down here.

 

by niteowl
2-20-02
I 0wN j00...Ph33R mY m0D sTaTus oN iRc
mom jokes are lame? only cuz I fucked yo momma last night then I licked yo gf's twat...ur just jealous
whut up baby...bling bling! look ma, i'm a brotha up in dis biatch even tho i'm really white! shizzle mah nizzle!
I am a programmer. I run my own website. You are nothing. Don't make me ban you.
So what if I'm 40 years old, and like jerking off to 15 year old camgirls? What's wrong with that? Btw, want a pic of my cock? *s*
So what if I show my boobs for stuff from my Amazon wishlist? They buy me stuff because I'm such a deep person. It's true! Go read my journal and find out!

 

by niteowl
2-21-02
I'm pissed off.
Why's that?
I'm tired of being the default characters when the freaks here first make a comic. All the nasty stuff they make us say! They need to have someone else be first up here!
Yeah, I've had enough of that sucky sucky five dolla shit. I hope Kubrick is burning in hell right now for that line.
Meet your new default characters!
Uh, what the hell is someone using us in their comic for? We haven't had a gig in months.
They must like the color blue.

 

by niteowl
2-21-02
At a seedy motel just outside of Hollywood...
Mmmm...oh yeah baby...
Did you bring the electrical tape sweetie?
Huh? Electrical tape? Hmmm...You smell like...nuts.
Umm...You smell like grass.
What the fuck....who are you? Wait, is this room 303?
I thought you were Richard Gere!

 

by niteowl
2-21-02
A letter arrives at VH-1...
....and I think a Rush Behind The Music would be great for us fans. Thank You, A Faithful Rush Fan In Minnesota
Rush? They've had one lineup change in 27 years, they don't do drugs, what would we base a show on?
We could focus on the fact that Geddy's voice annoys everyone except their fans...
We could focus on the fact that their music isn't mainstream enough and that musicians love them...
I got it! They're devil worshippers! Look at the Red Star logo on the 2112 album...It's a pentagram!
Or they might be gay! The Hemispheres album has a naked guy on it!

 

by niteowl
2-23-02
*knock knock*
Can I help you? Oh, hello Jesus! Wait, how did you knock on the door?
Hello. I am here to warn you of the TV evangelists who raise money in the name of religion. They are fakes.
Well shit, I just donated $20 of my crack money to Creflo A. Dollar.
Any minister with a last name like that can't be trusted.

 

by niteowl
2-23-02
Inspired by ObiJo...
So...you seem to think you've made this world a better place with all the evil going in the world now.
Well, I don't see you doing much about it.
stripcreator.com/comics/ObiJo/42080
Hey! I've done plenty, look at all the good in the world today. Sunshine, waterfalls, X-box...
X-box? You actually take claim for that?
Of course, Bill Gates is my right hand man.
Little do you know what he's doing to me with his left hand.

 

by niteowl
2-23-02
And they continue with their spirited debate over what is good and what...isn't.
Dan Rather.
Connie Chung.
Connie? Her husband sold out to me for higher ratings.
Yes, but that's why she's good. Anyone willing to be married to a hack like that...
Point taken. Ok, um....Mary Hart.
Yes! Total evil. No one can be that happy ALL the fricking time.

 

by niteowl
2-23-02
Stryper.
Slayer.
King's X.
Um...Steely Dan.
Huh?
Ok, you explain how a jazz band gets a Grammy for Best Album of the Year.

 

by niteowl
2-23-02
The debate continues....
Oprah Winfrey.
Regis Philbin.
Montel Williams.
Ricki Lake.
Jerry Springer.
Sigh, he had so much potential until he stopped the fist fights on his show...

 

by niteowl
2-23-02
A truce is called.
It's obvious that neither of us can live without the other, I need you evil-doers to keep me honest.
True..besides, if there was only evil in the world, what would happen to all them silly churches?
This truce sponsored by...
"This used to be a catholic church.."
"Now it's a 7-11..."
The Talking Heads.
"You got it!"
"You got it!"

 

by niteowl
2-23-02
An actual conversation between me and my girlfriend 5 minutes ago.
Who won the war of words?
Well, Jesus and Satan called a truce.
A truce?!?!?
Yeah, I just wanted the story to have a point to it, you know, "the moral of the story is" type thing.
When did you turn into an after-school special?
.........

 

by niteowl
4-13-02
Your underwear is showing.
Of course you would notice, you sicko!

 

by niteowl
4-14-02
You know, that movie "Changing Lanes" looks really good.
Yeah, it looks interesting.
.....
.....
I hope she doesn't faint over the fact that there's actually a movie I might want to go see.
Goddamnit, I can't tell if he's being sarcastic or serious.

 

by niteowl
6-27-02
Stop staring.
Yeah, it's just plain rude.

 

by niteowl
6-27-02
Uh oh. I feel a transformation coming on.
Yep, Uh oh is right.
I'm disappointed.
I've got a full-on robot chubby.

 

by niteowl
6-28-02
...so this lady returns her movies tonight and she's got a late fee and of course, the dumb broad won't pay it, so I'm like...
Honey, we need to go grocery shopping in a lil while, it's getting late.
"You can't rent until the late fee is paid." So she just goes off, calling me every dirty name in the book...what the hell? It's not my fault you can't return your movies...
Hey, did you hear Def Leppard is coming here in concert? Tickets go on sale tomorrow morning.
10 minutes later...
QUEER AS FOLK MARATHON TONIGHT! LOOK, BRAD PITT IS NAKED ON TV RIGHT NOW! OH MY GOD, THE HOUSE IS BURNING DOWN!
...and she still wouldn't listen to me, she just kept rambling on and on about how our policy was horseshit, blah blah blah...oh, I'm sorry...did you say something dear?

 

by niteowl
6-28-02
...NOW RAISE THOSE HANDS IN THE AIR! AND WAVE EM LIKE YOU JUST DON'T CARE!
RAISE DA ROOF!

 

by niteowl
6-28-02
Billy Squier and The Trix Rabbit
I really miss the leotards I wore in my videos back in the 80's. I was hot as fuck!
Goddamned if I don't look worse than Billy did in the 80's.
The Loch Ness Monster and Cyndi Lauper
That's right, I'm real! Betta recognize, foo.
He bop, she bop-a-we bop...I bop, you bop-a-they bop!
Mick Jagger and Keith Richards
Keith...wake up mate. Your guitar's gone.
Huh? I'ave a guitar? Bloody hell...ain't lit up a fat one in years and 'm still wasted.

 

by niteowl
7-01-02
I think it's about bloody time that I clean up m'act, know what I mean Kel? See? I'm drinking Pepsi instead of beer t'day!
I'm so glad Jack, I've been concerned about you lately, y'know.
Hey dad...I found this stray elephant outside. Can we keep him?!? Please please?
Of course you bloody well can Jack! I love these fucking animals...SHARON! Look, Jack brought home a walrus!
I love you guys so much!
I know Kelly, I love you too...I hate all these bloody animals though.

 

by niteowl
7-01-02
What if your pc decided to surf the'net while you were at work?
"Welcome to dell.com! Our featured product is the amazing Dell Dimension..."
Ooh...look at that software package....4 USB ports...mmm, network me baby! Ohhhh, my hard drive throbs for you...

 

by niteowl
11-03-02
Shit!
What?
I forgot the Pepsi in the car. I'm gonna go get it.
Ok. Give me a drink of your open can though. I'm thirsty.
UGH! I don't wanna get your cooties!
Ok, you put your mouth all over my body but yet you worry about ME giving you cooties?

 

by niteowl
11-03-02
Do you have any drugs on you right now?
Whatcha need, man?

 

by niteowl
11-03-02
I think better fill out this forum profile so I can show how l33t I am, with all my IM programs!
Forum Profile for dork333 - AIM : dork333 ICQ # : 10363903 MSN : dork333@hotmail.com...
Ooh, another message. That makes two tonite!
Message from xXx_10inches4u_xXx : a/s/l?
dork333 : Hey! I don't know who you are, so don't message me!
xXx_10inches4u_xXx : If you don't want messages from people, then why do you have all your Instant Messenger program numbers and nicks in every forum profile you have?

 

by niteowl
11-03-02
Hey man, did you hear that Iraq finally has Internet access? You can even send Saddam Hussein an e-mail!
No shit? Dude, gimme the address!
Ok, it's press@uruklink.net.
Awesome! I think I'll sign up that addy at some gay porn websites. That'll teach him to fuck with the USA!
One week later...
Tonight's top story...Iraqi leader Saddam Hussein is dead. Sources say he died of a heart attack while masturbating to gay porn e-mail he received on the Internet.
Holy shit...we got him! That South Park movie was right, he was gay!

 

by niteowl
11-08-02
This sucks. First it's Temptaion Island, then American Idol, now this stupid Bachelor shit. Could this guy watch anything more intellectually sterile?
Oh bitch, bitch, bitch. At least he isn't licking you while calling 1-900-HOT-BABE at $2.99 a minute.

 

by niteowl
11-08-02
Porn, porn, and more porn. Jesus H...this guy needs to find some other websites to look at. The fucker's gonna go blind.
No shit, plus he always plays with my pieces after he's done with you. WITHOUT WASHING HIS HANDS, THAT SON OF A BITCH!

 

by niteowl
11-08-02
Did you see that woman he brought home tonight? All I can say is, with looks like that, she better be able to cook.
Dude...she was a hooker! For fucks sake, what did you expect...Britney Spears?

 

by niteowl
11-08-02
Hey there tree...glad to see you're back again.
Thanks. I was beginning to wonder if he was even going to celebrate Christmas this year, since he put me up the day after Labor Day last year.

 

by niteowl
11-09-02
?!?!?
Hello...
Hello...
Hello...
HELLO!

 

by niteowl
11-09-02
Hey Santa, aren't you a little early? It's only November, you know.
Well, I was just uh...in the neighborhood and um...I'm just checking to make sure this tree is suitable enough for putting presents underneath. Yeah, that's it!

 

by niteowl
11-09-02
Look at us man. I've got the rabbit ears, and you've got the old dial for ringing people up. It seems we've become outdated.
Hell, I ain't worried. People will clamoring for our retro stylings again when they've grown tired of cellphones and flat screen TVs. The 70's will live forever!

 

by niteowl
11-09-02
Ok, Winamp is loaded and ready to go. What song shall I play for you?
One Night In Bangkok by Murray Head.

 

by niteowl
11-09-02
WOULD YOU LIKE TO PLAY A GAME, PROFESSOR FAULKEN?
Aaah, screw you. Thermo-Nuclear war is for pussies.

 

by niteowl
2-14-03
Since I am God, I decree that the video game industry needs a new direction.
There needs to be an alternative to all the violence. I shall send the message down to start work on something religious...
Here's a sneak peek at the new videogame from EA, "A Priest's Life". If it's in the game, it's in the game.
Child molestation, running a numbers game out of the back of the church, blessing your clubs for a better golf game...
Yes. All sins that I've admitted to. You do not need to arrest me. I will be forgiven by Him.

 

by niteowl
2-16-03
Artist's rendition of what chatrooms would look like if using chat speak was forbidden. lol.z? meh! aiight h0mie!

 

by niteowl
2-16-03
Marty, go get that stapler will you? We will bring that with us to knock out Bif and get back the DeLorean.
But Doc, wouldn't it be better to use that secret weapon of yours...?
No no Marty! The consequences would be disasterous! We need that stapler!
C'mon Doc...What's a stapler going to do? Screw it, I'm going to go unleash the beast.
MARTY! NO! YOU CAN'T! Oh, great scott...
You know, if you bend me so my sharp end is sticking out, and stab him in the throat...Voila, no more make like a tree and get outta here jokes!

Showing page 1.

Next »