All comics by paravex

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by paravex
2-25-02
John Kraft runs in to Robin one day on Queen st. ........
ughhh........
You see? THIS is what happens when you watch Battle Royale too much!
This shit be dumb. I'm off to masturbate
And so a lesson is learned.....
I think I wet my pants.....

 

by paravex
2-26-02
what the - ?
Alright dipshit, your coming with me?
Are you.....Jesus?
No, I'm your fucking mother. Now get in the van!

 

by paravex
2-26-02
Where are you taking me?
My dumbass dad wants to talk to you about somthing
You mean.......God?
If that's what you call him
but.......... I'm an athiest!
Look, quite whining and follow me or I'm gonn kick your ass!

 

by paravex
2-26-02
after a long walk and many spelling mistakes later.....
DAD! Here he is!
Ahh.... Welcome my son!
I'm outta here
Wait! don't be afraid!

 

by paravex
2-26-02
So, your God....
That's right
Umm...... I don't know how to say this, but ........
Yes?
Your a goat.
You'll be suprised how often I hear that

 

by paravex
2-26-02
Our hero has met God.
I'm sorry, I'm having a bit of a hard time taking this in......
No problem. Will it make you feel better if I turn in to something more human?
If it's not too much trouble
Not at all!
WILL GOD PUT SOME PANTS ON? STAY TUNED FOR THE NEXT STRIP!
Zap?
How's this?

 

by paravex
2-26-02
I can't believe God isn't wearing pants.
Come! There isn't much time!
Where are we going?
To Hell
why?
Damn, Jesus was right. You are a whiney bitch

 

by paravex
2-26-02
Alright here we are. HEY SATAN!
This is to weird
God! what's up buddy?
What can possibly happen next?
How ya doin'? I'm Satan.

 

by paravex
2-26-02
WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON HERE??
Now calm down buddy....
Sorry, but I want to know what I'm doing here.
Alright. You are here because you are the one........
The one for what?
I can't remember. I'm too drunk....

 

by paravex
2-26-02
My son, you are going to be the new Grim Reaper.
REALLY???
No. Your just gonna be his substitute.
How much does it pay?
Hourly? Not so bad

 

by paravex
2-26-02
It sounds like fun. I'll give it a shot.
excellent. I'll just get the clothes on you.
Zap again?
I don't think this is what the Grim Reaper looks like.
Sorry. I just haven't seen a dog on a ball in a while.

 

by paravex
2-26-02
There you go. How is it?
This thing is to heavy and I'm chafing.
And Satan just piddled on my leg
Don't care. Now shut up and go kill someone!

 

by paravex
2-26-02
Where the hell am I gonna find someone to kill?
If you give me a dollar, I'll nail myself in the head for your amusment
There he is
-ping- OUCH! -ping- OUCH!

 

by paravex
2-26-02
Guess what? Your dead and I have to take you to the afterlife.
Do I still get a dollar?

 

by paravex
2-26-02
Come on. Follow me.
whats gonna happen to me?
Damned if I know.
You don't KNOW??
Give me a break. I'm new here.

 

by paravex
2-26-02
End of the line buddy. Time for me to go
Wait! Where am I?
Look at the clouds. Take a wild guess.
France?

 

by paravex
2-26-02
Alright I'm off. Later
ok...
What the hell am I gonna do here?
Hey there........

 

by paravex
2-26-02
That was fun....
Now, who's next?
Whooooooo's next?
Got any spare change buddy?

 

by paravex
2-26-02
w-where am I?
Hell. I would've taken you to Heaven but it takes too long to get there
gotta go now.
YOU SENT ME HERE OUT OF CONVIENIENCE?
WAIT A MINUTE!
Hi. Get in the pit.

 

by paravex
2-26-02
Ahhh...... my first day on the job complete
Thank God I'm out of those stupid clothes!
Your welcome

 

by paravex
2-26-02
Uhhh...... No offence, but if my dad comes in, he might think..... you know, were together...
No prob. I'll change in to something a little less sexual
That's not really any better

 

by paravex
2-27-02
So what do you want?
Why..... nothing! I was just in the neighborhood and wondered ........ if you wanted to grab a bite to eat
Are you coming on to me?
depends........ do you like it?
GOD IS COMING ON TO ME?????
I'm not hearing a "no"......

 

by paravex
2-27-02
Are you really coming on to me?
Forget it. The mood is ruined. I have to take you somewhere though. Get your coat on.
Where are we going?
You'll see
Where the fuck am I?

 

by paravex
2-27-02
I thought I told you to put your coat on.
I'll fix that!
That was pretty pointless.
I know. I'm just really bored.

 

by paravex
3-01-02
So where the hell are we?
You are in (dramatic pause) THE VORTEX OF TIME!!
Really???
No. Were just in my closet.
Your a fucking idiot.
Alright.... I'll take you to the real vortex of time.

 

by paravex
3-04-02
Welcome to the vortex of time
It's a warehouse
Shut up. It's a vortex.
Whatever. So why am I here?
nothing much. Just a battle to the death.

 

by paravex
3-04-02
A fight to the death??? With who?
Death. That's kind of ironic if you think about it.
Why Death? Why do I have to fight him?
When you agreed to being Death for the day, you sorta agreed to be Death for all eternity. This pissed of the real Death who wants his job back and he demands a fight to the death. Bye
How will this confrontation end???? Find out next strip on "An oh so very long tale"
WAIT A MINUTE!!!
Alright bitch, lets get it on.

 

by paravex
3-04-02
Look, I don't want to fight you!
Too bad. Your going to.
Look you'll win easily
exactly
I don't want to die!
I'm running out of things to say on this strip.

 

by paravex
3-04-02
Look, I'll tell you what. I'll give you anything that you want and in return, you'll get your job back and I can keep my life!
Got any Gummi Bears?

 

by paravex
3-04-02
Well, It's finally over.....
Now I can get back to my life and -
Hey
That's it folks. It's over. OR IS IT?????
Can I use your bathroom?

 

by paravex
3-04-02
I am sooooo stoned!!
Yeah......me to....
Mona?
Yeah Robin?
My pockets feel really werid right now.....
WHAT??

 

by paravex
3-04-02
I'm not joking! My hands feel really werid when they are in my pockets!!!
You are too werid Robin
It's like time slows down and they're in space or something.....
THAT IS TOO FUCKED!!!
Mona......I'm scared Mona.....
hehehehehehe

 

by paravex
3-04-02
Stop laughing!! I'm serious! I'm really fucking scared!!
Don't worry you'll be fine. In the meantime, why don't you take your hands out of your pockets?
I can't.
Why?
My hands are paralysed with fear!
HAHAHAHAHA!!

 

by paravex
3-04-02
STOP LAUGHING!!
Alright I'm sorry.
I'm gonna go get those movie tickets for Snatch. stay right here.
What the hell?!

 

by paravex
3-04-02
WHERE THE FUCK AM I???
Your in your pockets, Robin LeBlanc....
WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON???

 

by paravex
3-05-02
Who the fuck are you??
Why, My name is.......
is.......
?
Hold on let me go check.

 

by paravex
3-05-02
Alright I'm back. My name is Lint. I am the pocket keeper.
The pocket keeper?
That's right.
No, really. Who are you?

 

by paravex
3-05-02
So, you are the keeper of my pockets?
That is correct.
So what am I doing here?
Uh....why your here because...... because.......
Is this sort of some judgement thing on my life life that Scrooge guy?
uh... Yeah... sure

 

by paravex
3-05-02
So, who am I seeing first?
Umm...... The..... spirit..... of Pocket's past!!
ok then
Lou! you got a customer!
customer?
Alright dipshit, keep quiet and get in the fucking van!

 

by paravex
3-06-02
Where are we?
Shut up! Your in the past!
There's you when you were kid
?
You look funny!

 

by paravex
3-06-02
What was the point in showing me this?
Damned if I know
Can I go back now?

 

by paravex
3-06-02
Mona! What the hell are you doing here?
I came back with the tickets, and this little blue guy said you were in your pockets and I couldn't see you. So I kicked his ass and found my way here
ok.......

 

by paravex
3-06-02

 

by paravex
3-06-02
Mona........
Yes?
Was there two asian kids in a white background just then?
Yes.......yes there was.....
Why?
I don't know..... I really...... don't..... know......

 

by paravex
3-25-02
Okay, We have to find a way out of here
What the FUCK should we do?
Tell you what, I think I see that Lint dude over there. I'll have a talk with him.
Why can't I go?
I think he's afraid of you.
hehe.... He flew 10 feet in the air when I kicked him in the nuts!

 

by paravex
3-25-02
Lright Mr. Lint dude. Me and my friend wanna go home.
ok
...........................
I'm sorry I was expecting more of a fight.
No prob

 

by paravex
3-25-02
Alright I'll let you go. BUT, in exchange for your freedom, I will give you clammy hands so you will always have to put your hands in your pocket
Fine.
Fine.
hehe..... I'm so smart ........ I know he's lying
hehe...... I'm so smart ...... I know he thinks I'm lying

 

by paravex
3-25-02
Alright, let's go
Thnk GOD WERE BACK!! HOORAY!!
WHOOHOO!
Robin, your hands are so clammy!
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

by paravex
3-25-02
And now for some culture......
Sugar, doo doo doo doo doo doo oh, a honey, honey!
You are my candy Giiirrrrrlllll!!!!!
And you got me wantin' yoouuuu!
There you have it folks! Isn't he great?

 

by paravex
8-22-04
After many long years, I have returned! We take you now to the strip already in progress
....and that is why I can never go back to Denny's
It all makes sense now!
meanwhile in Heaven, God is pondering something of great importence.....
hmmmm.........
Where the HELL is Jesus with my damn bean dip?

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