quodlibet  

I don't really understand. Why am I here?

Kind of slow, aren't you? Have you heard of Darwin's theory of evolution?

A foul, lying fiend. God created the world in seven days. And he built Rome in a day.

Actually, Luke, I begat your ancestors about four billion years ago.

That would explain why I'm a devilishly handsome pink balding hairless priest with a predilection for horn-rimmed glasses.

Got it in one. Now let's go — there's a party in the seventh level of Hell waiting for us.