quodlibet  

I told you that I would be lifeguarding at a nude beach. Someone was bound to choke sooner or later.

Oh really? How do you explain the screams of 'Fuck me harder! Harder!' she made, hm?

You look so hot in a bikini.

Stop changing the subject! I mean, you screwed her without a condom! Who knows what that bag has!

It's a nude beach. I couldn't just, you know, wear a condom. I'd be breaking the rules.

I can't believe that was the best excuse you could come up with.