All comics by redpen

Profile

 

by redpen
11-07-04
Hello good sir, would you be interested in housing a complete and possibly dangerous stranger for a few weeks?
Act now and you get free pie.
Fine! But just remember, you could have had pie!

 

by redpen
11-07-04
68 Doors Later:
Alright, no one has wanted a stranger living with them, but maybe this house will be different.
Hello good sir, would you be interested in housing a complete and possibly dangerous strage....... you know you seem a little dangerous yourself.
What are you doing with that thing anyway?
Would you believe I'm a doctor?

 

by redpen
11-07-04
Now you're being serious?
Kind of. I play a doctor on tv.
Really? On what show?
Have you seen that new Doctor Joe soap opera?
No. I don't watch soap operas.
Oh you should. You wouldn't believe the violence they put in them.

 

by redpen
11-07-04
Here, come in. My show is on right now.
Doctor Joe Soap Opera
So can you save him?
It doesn't look good. There's only one doctor I know of who can treat someone who just went through a freak-soda can incident.
We need... Doctor Joe!
Somebody say my name?

 

by redpen
11-08-04
We intterupt this comic for this news break.
Hello, I'm James Filler, and this is Channel 3 news. We go now to Red Pen who is interviewing a Dark Elf.
Thank you James. The person you see next to me is a Dark Elf. He's agreed to answer some questions on some important issues.
Now tell us. What do think of food and its affect on the children of today?
Um...

 

by redpen
11-08-04
Back To What Matters:
Wow I know a tv star!
Yep.
So....... Um..... I kinda have to get back to work now so I'm just gonna leave.
Alright. I'll call you sometime.
Read this panel left-to-right.
You do realize I'm not going to call him?
You do realize you don't have his phone number?

 

by redpen
11-08-04
So what now?
Well now that I'm done making today's comic, we can do pretty much anything.
Well I think I'm just going to go to the arcade. I think they're having a video game tournament today.
I'll go too. You'll need my god-mode like abilities.
What god-mode like abilities? You set the record for most losses to the first opponent in Soul Caliber II.
And who has yet to break that record?

 

by redpen
11-08-04
You just stay here, I'm going to go there alone.
But you can't leave me here alone. This house has a ghost in it!
Whatever. I'm leaving, see ya.
B-but but...
She didn't believe me.
No one ever believes you.

 

by redpen
11-08-04
After The Arcade:
So a real ghost actually lives here? Is he scary.
Well he used to be. Now he's old and has retired to scaring smaller things than me.
What, like children?
Like empty birdcages.
BOO!

 

by redpen
11-09-04
This is me, also known as Red Pen. I am of coarse the author.
Um...
I am 16 years old and am from Wisconsin, the cheese state!
Little known fact, my hair isn't naturally yellow, that's from 16 years of eating my weight in cheese.
I am a serious gamer. This will become more apparent as the series goes on.
I already hold a record at our local arcade!
NOTE: Check "78 Quarters" to find out what record he means.

 

by redpen
11-09-04
This is Nicole, my long time best friend. She's 17 and is a really good gamer.
Hey.
While she wpn't admit it, I am a bit better than her.
No way in hell you're better than me.
Job: Best friend? Come to think of it, I don't actually know what she does, but she always has some money.
It's called Ebay.

 

by redpen
11-09-04
This is Kevin. He lives next door to me and was able to snag a spot on a tv show even though he's only 16.
Talent Red! Talent!
Whatever. Anyways, we've been friends since Freshman year. While he's fun to be around, he can be a little too sarcastic.
Oh yeah, that was cleaver.
For some reason he doesn't get along with Nicole.
Get lost.
Eat me.

 

by redpen
11-09-04
DING DONG
Hold on, I'll go get the door.
This had better not be another guy trying to get me to subscribe to GameFly.
Hello good sir, would you be interested in housing a complete and possibly dangerous stranger for a few weeks?
It's not you is it?

 

by redpen
11-09-04
Just allow me to show you who will be staying with you.
Fine, but I'm not going to say yes.
Hello.
!!!
Hee hee.
And this is with the pie?

 

by redpen
11-09-04
Red stop pushing and just tell me whatever it was you wanted to tell me.
Not tell, show. Turn around and see who will be staying with me for a few weeks!
Hello.
Do you even have your parent's permission for this?
I have parents?

 

by redpen
11-09-04
Red, what possesed you to allow a complete stranger to live with you?
Well I couldn't just let her starve out there in the freezing snow.
It's not snowing! It's barely cold outside!
Listen let's not argue about trivial issues while the guest is here.
Now, let us go enjoy the pie that came with her!

 

by redpen
11-09-04
And this is the only bedroom.
Wow, this is surprisingly nice.
It sure is. Now let's go find where you'll be sleaping
What? I don't get to sleep here?
Do... you... want... to sleep in here?
Is that a problem?

 

by redpen
11-09-04
The next day
So how's your guest?
She wanted to sleep in my bed.
Well did you let her?
She's very convincing.
Like how?
I actually can't remember anything after being knocked out by something. But she says before that happened I said it was fine.

 

by redpen
11-09-04
Well I have to go make her breakfast, if she doesn't have breakfast she gets kind of testy.
How do you know? This is the first morning that she's been here. Besides, you can't even make a pop tart.
How was I supposed to know you couldn't microwave the wrapper?
Well, just remember that just because she's your guest, doesn't mean that you're her servant.
So I shouldn't have helped her get ready for her bath?

 

by redpen
11-09-04
Please tell me that she just asked you to make the bath.
Well actually...
Oh my god. I'm going to get someone who can help you. Until then don't help her with anything else.
Gotcha.
Red, can you help me with something?

 

by redpen
11-09-04
One Phone Call Later
Well now that that's taken care of I can get down to work.
I wonder who they sent.
Ha hey hey hey!

 

by redpen
11-09-04
I've come to help you.
With what? Sarah?
You already know her name?
Well she's been here for almost two days.
Oh this is much worse than I thought it was.
Nicole sent you didn't she?

 

by redpen
11-10-04
Meanwhile
Hey buddy, this aint a library. Buy something, or get out.

 

by redpen
11-11-04
So can I talk to this "Sarah?"
Sure. Hey Sarah! Some clown wants to see you!
A moment later
Ok I'm here.
Good, now listen. You can't just go around... OH MY GOD IT'S NEKO!!!
What?

 

by redpen
11-13-04
So you've finally showed yourself again after all of these years aya Neko? And this Red is the latest recruit to your zombie army? Looks like I'll have to kill you.
Listen, I don't know who you are or what you're talking about, but if you're going to threaten me then I'll just have to threaten you back!
What're you going to do? Kill me? You don't have any weapons with you!
Or do I? I always carry a gun on me for protection!
BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM
Ha! Take that ya technicolor basterd.
You say something Sarah?

 

by redpen
11-13-04
The Next Day: Monday
Alright Sarah, I have to go to school today so you'll be here alone for most of the day.
That's ok.
Bye Sarah! See you later!
Bye Red!
What do you do by yourself?

 

by redpen
11-13-04
After school
I'm back Sarah!
Hmm... the lights arent on.
Red! Is that you? Oh I'm so glad to see you!
And the Sarahs on the floor.
It's safer down here.

 

by redpen
11-13-04
Alright Sarah, what's wrong?
Well when you left I didn't really know what to do. I've never been in a house by myself. At first I was just kind of bored, so I started doing random things to pass the time.
And then?
After doing every thing I could think of I realized I was going to be alone for quite a while and got scared. I totally freaked when everything the lights went out.
But the sun's still up, it should be light in here.
What windows? I've never seen any! Besides the bedroom your house is a continuous green wall!

 

by redpen
11-13-04
I never mentioned windows. I just said that the sun was still up.
Well you should have mentioned windows.
You see that would have made more sense. That's what everyone expected from you, including me.
Why haven't you gotten off the floor yet?
No one's expecting me to.

 

by redpen
11-13-04
Listen get up off the floor and things will start to get better.
But it will still be dark.
click
Lightswitch. Now get off the floor.
Alright, but the light had better stay on.
Want me to get you some food or something?
No, your floors kind of dirty so I think I'll just go take a shower............... maybe you could help me.

 

by redpen
11-14-04
The Next Day: Tuesday
Time for schoo........
Hey Sarah! I'm going to be home all day, you don't have to hide in the corner all day!

 

by redpen
11-14-04
Not Coming To Theators Near You: It started with a boy who was just a little too trusting...
Unnnnnnnnnnngh
Sure you can come in, but wipe your feet first.
And then it continued with a boy who was just a little too trusting...
Can I come in? I'm with the zombie, I'm in no way planning on using your overly trusting nature to take over the world.
A friend of Unnngh is a friend of mine.
But the worst was still to come...
What do you mean "Will I carry you in?"

 

by redpen
11-15-04
But next door...
I guess you can come in.
Followed by the ring leader...
Just one rule: No singing.
And finally...
Can I have my tree back?
Uh...

 

by redpen
11-16-04
ZOMBIES!
SNOWMEN!
Halloween VS Christmas! Coming November 30, 2005
How are you even going to make this?
I don't know.

 

by redpen
11-16-04
Alright Sarah, we have to come up with soething for you to do when I'm not around.
You mean like a hobby?
Yeah, now I've taken the liberty to look into several things.
Like what?
Like, video games, reading, cooking, video games, model building, drawing, video games, telcvision, the computer, or video games.
Um... what do you think I should do

 

by redpen
11-17-04
Red: There are many kinds of games that you can play. You've got your standard character building RPG.
I cast level 3 lightning magic.
-377 hp. I lose, you gain 30 exp and a magic fire ring.
And your Action/Adventure titles.
I have come from the land of Lowrule to slay the evil Gonan.
Ya, he go ova darr, mean fellow he bee. Best you watch yer back ya?
And then you've got your sports games, and fighting games, and...
Yeah, that's nice....... I think I'll just go pick one out myself.

 

by redpen
11-18-04
An hour later...
So what game did you pick?
I chose an RPG. It's pretty fun. Come check it out, I'm a level 4 Valkyrie!
Inside the game
I'm looking for the main quest. Do you know where I can find it?
Thou dares to look for the main quest with a level of only 4? Ha! You haven't even completed all of the tutorial yet hath thou?
I got through most of it.
Tis not enough. Come back once you've earned some real experience, and learned how to speak in ye olde gameish.

 

by redpen
11-19-04
Um, hi. Can you help me, you see I'm looking for the main quest.
Why certainly my dear.
Now you'll want to head.... Hey! You're that Valkyrie that's been going around killing innocent people and cute giant rabbits!
No, no I'm not! You must have me mistaken for somebody else.
Do not perplex me with your mind games foul wench!

 

by redpen
11-20-04
Listen, this is all just a big misunderstanding.
No it's not! Now prepare to die! Fire Magic!
EEEK!
Ha ha! Now to go collect that reward.
GAME OVER
I hate this game.

 

by redpen
11-20-04
The following is a puplic service annoucement about drugs and their effect on you.
This is you.
The following is a puplic service annoucement about drugs and their effect on you.
This is you on drugs.
The following is a puplic service annoucement about drugs and their effect on you.
Any questions?
Would I get to keep the hammer?

 

by redpen
11-20-04
We now return you to your regularrly scheduled comicing.
RING...RING...RING
Just hit start for a second Sarah, I have to go get the phone.
Read right-to-left
Hey Red, this is Kevin. Huh, what's that? Come over? Raid your fridge and criticize everything you do? Well fine but just because you asked so nicely.
Hello?
Wait, I don't have speakerphone.
I know.

 

by redpen
11-21-04
What are you doing here Kevin?
Whhat do you mean? I'm your friend, I should be able to come over whenever.
Your fridge is out of food isn't it?
Are those bananas?

 

by redpen
11-22-04
You know Kevin, I don't mind you coming over, but I would prefer it if you came over to see ME!
I'll remember that, now is this pizza still good?
Sarah: Red! What's taking so long, I need your help getting past this damned jumping puzzle!
Just hold on a second longer! I have a small annoyance to take care of!
Was that a girl's voice?

 

by redpen
11-22-04
Read this panel right to left
It's not another clown is it? Cause if it is, I will strangle him!
Hey Sarah! Come down here! There's someone who'd like to meet you.
She'll be down in a minute.
So she's hot right?
Um, yeah... but why should you care? It's not like she'll fall suddenly in love with you.
Or will she?

 

by redpen
11-22-04
Alright I'm here, who wanted to meet me?
That guy!
Who is he?
A lean mean eating machine.

 

by redpen
11-23-04
I'm Sarah, um... nice to meet you.
I'm Kevin, I'm a tv star.
Then how come you can't afford food!
I can't just go to the store like a common commoner!

 

by redpen
11-24-04
A few boring minutes later...
Oh god... these two are going to be here forever.
Kevin: Um... so, what're you doing here at Red's place?
I bet I could help them, all I have to do is...
Ah screw it. I'm gonna go play a game.
Sarah: Actually it's kinda of a funny story.

 

by redpen
12-31-04
Alrightm let's load up Jak II.
Hmm... What's this? An Advertisment for a Jak II soundtrack?
"Features such song as: "All My Friends Are Metleheads."

 

by redpen
12-31-04
Meanwhile
Alright, well it's been nice talking to you, but I think I'm going to go play my game again.
Bye.
Oh yeah... she digs me.

 

by redpen
1-02-05
Read this panel Right-to-Left
No, I'm one level away from being one level away from the last level!
Hey Red, can I play my game now?
Fine!
I said you can't play Sarah!
Sar-ah?

Showing page 1.

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