All comics by skywarp

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by skywarp
11-22-01
haha jesus, you're DEAD!
grrrrrr...
haha!
ARGH! now im a squirrel! SMELL MY ANUS, JESUS!
damn.

 

by skywarp
11-22-01
On some distant planet
Welcome to our planet. We're conducting tests on mating habits of humans.
ummmmm... OK!
But first... I'll turn you into something I can really get into.
Awww yeah. That's more like it.
I feel sexier already.

 

by skywarp
11-22-01
Boy, Melissa, you sure look hot today.
Are you sure, Indie? I don't think I have enough makeup on. Are you sure I look sassy enough?
Oh yeah, baby. I love the way the light shines off your bulbus ass!
How did we turn into little girls?
I don't know, but now you look even HOTTER! C'mere, I have just the attachment for you.

 

by skywarp
11-22-01
This is a sculpture that I made of myself. You woundn't understand it, it's too complicated for your feeble mind.
This painting represents years of toil. Although I wouldn't expect you to get it.
And now the head of Ozzy Ozborne is going to kill me. Do you see the irony?

 

by skywarp
11-22-01
C'mon, Mura! Just give me one more chance!
I... I can't! You've cheated on me with my brother for the last time!
Don't go!
I... I must.
Finally.
I thought she'd never leave.

 

by skywarp
11-22-01
Can I run away now, grandpa?
Not yet, billy, I can see right up her skirt! YEEHAW!

 

by skywarp
11-22-01
so then i was sitting there when jennifer comes up to me with no top on...
later
and while i'm shooting the movie, russel crowe asks me for an autograph! and i'm like...
can i lick you?

 

by skywarp
11-24-01
hA HA, yuo fuxin fAgG07! i'M liek SOOO much smrtr then u!!!11 i Haev a 175 iq, and ill Kik yer @$$ in QuaK3 Ar3nA!
If you're so smart, then why can't you spell?
I'll kill you.
uh... Yuor Ju$t JeaL0uz, cUz 1'm s0 1337, and yuor jUs7 a LaMorz!

 

by skywarp
11-25-01
Because mutiny on the bounty's what we're all about I'm gonna board your ship and turn it on out No soft sucker with a parrot on his shoulder 'Cause I'm bad gettin' bolder - cold getting colder
Terrorizing suckers on the seven seas And if you've got beef - you'll get capped in the knees We got sixteen men on a dead man's chest And I shot those suckers and I'll shoot the rest
Most illingest b-boy - I got that feeling Cause I am most ill and I'm rhymin' and stealin'
Snatching gold chains - vicking pieces of eight I got your money and your honey and the fly name plate We got wenches on the benches - and bitties with titties Housing all girlies from city to city
One for all and all for one Taking out M.C.'s with a big shotgun All for one and one for all Because the Beastie Boys have gone A.W.O.L. Friggin' in the riggin' and cuttin' your throat
Big biting suckers getting thrown in the moat We got maidens and wenches - man they're on the ace Captain Bly is gonna die when we break his face

 

by skywarp
12-06-01
OW! i just poked myself with a needle
oh, that has my medicine for...
MY AIDS!
gasp!

 

by skywarp
12-06-01
but it's not mine. it was used by one of my patients...
whew
WITH AIDS!
gasp!

 

by skywarp
12-06-01
but then i steralized it.
whew
i wish i had a monkey.

 

by skywarp
12-14-01
example 1
well will you fucking look at this. what a fucking shitty pile of steaming feces.
i fuck everything i see.
example 2
excuse me, i'm a robot, and i have to have gay butt sex.
man, i'd like to stick this penis on my head in that robots ass.
example 3
i'm going to fucking kill you now.
i'm gonna stick my dick in that bitch. heh heh heh...

 

by skywarp
1-10-02
i'm a huge flaming fag! i fuck other men!
he does. i know because i'm the one he fucks.
I HAVE HERPES!
i knew i shouldn't have fucked that 8 year old girl. how i, as well, have herpes.
i'd rather do this than have my cellmate rape me again. why oh why did i have to have sex with my daughter?
you know you love it, bitch!

 

by skywarp
3-08-02
...so i'm like, dude, i know that dude!
DUDE that's real cool, DUDE!
dude, don't make fun of my dudes, that's not cool.
ok DUDE, sorry DUDE.

 

by skywarp
3-13-02
but it's just a rash.
ZING!
and you don't even want to know what's in this box.
this is an awfully stupid ending.
what happened?!?! i can't see!
heh... heh... heh...

 

by skywarp
4-02-02
what?
do you smell what the rock is cookin'?
what? what? what? what? whatwhatwhatwhat?
what you gonna do when hulkamania runs wild on you?
whatwhatwhatwhat whatwhatwhatwhatwhat? what? what?
shut up jabroni

 

by skywarp
4-16-02
can you believe what that kid is wearing?!?!

 

by skywarp
5-19-02
we come into this story in the middle
... so then i say, "hey doc, i thought you said this was going to go away", and he says...
then we come back a little later
... and bob's like, i think you should get that looked at...
then again at the climax
i really wish you wouldn't talk while i'm doing that.

 

by skywarp
8-11-06
You killed 26,475,301 people. You caused billions in damage.
The radiation is going to keep people from being able to live here for thousands of years. Do you have anything to say for yourself?
That's all I wanted to hear.
I'm sowwy.

 

by skywarp
10-17-07
Honey, I just gave birth to a brown baby boy, come check it out!
No.
But I've been in labor for 17 hours!
I want a divorce.
Unfortunately it has my teeth.

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