somnambulist  

...so there we were, me on my knees in my in-laws' driveway, when out of the corner of my eye, I see the neighbor across the street watching the two of us!

Damn! So what happened next?

Nothing, really. At least, nothing that tasted particularly appetizing. I just like telling that story where it's kind of sacriligious for me to do so.

So with wild escapades like that, how come he is divorcing you?

Pfft. I guess it was a turn-off. He hardly even remembers it.

He forgot?? Holy shit! Not only would I not forget, I would commission a giant bronze statue commemorating the occasion!