somnambulist  

So she cancelled on you again last week? Well, we know she works tonight. Let's drop in and find out what happened with her.

Well I was going to go with "she is still a stupid, selfish little bitch," but if you really need the empirical evidence, I suppose that can be arranged too...

Hey! I'm so sorry about last week. I have this boyfriend who I really like. He found your txt msg on my phone and I had to get him to chill out, you know?

Well, I suppose she has upgraded from "convicted felon" to "ultra-controlling jackass." Damn, I probably could've pulled that off if I'd known to put in that type of effort...

At least I don't have any other tables tonight, so we have time to catch up!

Yeah. And if Jethro gets all pissy about me again, just tell him I'd never want to subject you to anything as awful as dating me*. That should do the trick.