All comics by sour29

 

by sour29
2-20-02
All Jase ever wanted was love.
All love ever wanted was Jase to go away.
Jase was a sad clown.

 

by sour29
2-22-02
d00d. where am i?
hello kurt. you are in heaven.
--this-- is heaven?
yeah. kinda a waste, huh?
are you...god?
~ROFLM@O~

 

by sour29
2-22-02
i wish this guy wouldn't breathe so close to me.
no, kurt. i am not god.
A/S/L?!?!?!!!1111
you shall learn all shortly. please, take some time. look around. enjoy the scenery.
~looks around~ ...scenery?
~poof~

 

by sour29
2-22-02
...and so, kurt walks....
...and walks...
?

 

by sour29
2-22-02
A/S/L?!?!?!!!1
BAAAAAAAAA.
...goats don't say "BAAAAAAAAA."
shit.
...
fine. welcome to the great and all-mysterious oracle. which questions of the future / present / past can i answer for you?

 

by sour29
2-22-02
ummm. if this is heaven, how did i die?
well, there's two schools of thought on that one.
oh?
yeah. either you shot yourself in the head with a shotgun while on a heroin high...
...not implausable...
...or Dave Grohl killed you to further the sucess of his middle-of-the-road pop group "the Foo Fighters."

 

by sour29
2-22-02
damnit. i knew dave was a dick. the "foo fighters?!"
ok. you can go now.
wtf? i still have questions about the meaning of life and death. about the vastness of the universe. about how many people my wife's slept with in the past six years.
ha. even if i -had- fingers, i'd have run out by now.
shite.
ok. you can go now.

 

by sour29
2-22-02
please. don't bother coming back.
...
...and thus, he walks some more...
whoa. like, a mirror or something.
whoa. like, a mirror or something.

 

by sour29
2-22-02
i look dead.
i look dead.
...
oh... yeah.
oh... yeah.

 

by sour29
2-23-02
man. i'm out of here.
man. i'm out of here.
oh geez! you again?
just passing through.
ah! so, kurt. have you learned about the matrix yet?
the matrix?! wtf?!!

 

by sour29
2-23-02
yes, kurt. the matrix is never ending. it's infinite. it's a world inside of a world. it's a world in which the world exists inside...
...it's neither here, nor there. it knows not up nor down. it has no east nor west. it is vast in it's miniscule body...
...it's where the conscious meets the unconscious, and where the impossible is only limited by your imagination...
d00d. i just want a cigarette.

 

by sour29
2-23-02
kurt? your eyes are glazed over...
kurt? what are you thinking of?
moments later.
i can't believe you managed to fix my whole head in your mouth.
"the impossible is only limited by your imagination in the matrix."

 

by sour29
2-23-02
*fix=fit.
wtf?!
nm.
okthxcyal8r.
wtf?!

 

by sour29
2-23-02
ok, oracle. i need to know. am i in heaven, or am i in the matrix?
BAAAAAAAAA.
...
goats don't say "BAAAAAAAAA."
shit. you again.

 

by sour29
2-23-02
well? am i in heaven or the matrix, oracle?
i see you've been talking to keanu reeves. don't mind him--he's not all there.
so, this --is-- heaven?
honestly kurt....
...is there such a thing as a heaven with keanu reeves in it?

 

by sour29
2-23-02
alright. so, if this isn't heaven, and it isn't the matrix, where the hell am i?
well, see? that's just it. it isn't hell either. this is purgatory.
let me get this straight. i'm stuck at the crossroads of heaven and hell, and my only companions appear to be Keanu Reeves, a talking goat, and a full length mirror?
oh, no no. many people don't know this, but the creator has fucked up so many times, he himself is in purgatory.
you mean, god is here with us? where?
actually, he's right behind you.

 

by sour29
2-23-02
oh! wow! d00d. i didn't even see you there.
pardon me for saying so, but you look nothing like i imagined you.
hmmm. yes, well. i usually am a disappointment. i'm become quite accustomed to it. what, pray tell, did you expect?
...perhaps someone wearing pants?

 

by sour29
2-23-02
... shit. i knew i was forgetting SOMETHING this morning.
so, you're god?
no, no, no. i'm the CREATOR.
wtf?
as in, of these comic strips.
?!

 

by sour29
2-23-02
walk with me, i'll tell you all about it.
...
you see kurt, i'm in fact a simple man with nothing more to do than put words into the mouths of other people.
it amuses me greatly to see famous people say stupid things like...
...i have lint in my urethra.

 

by sour29
2-23-02
...and so, i started creating a comic strip as a way to further my own personal amusement.
i have a booger in my eyeballs.
hehehehe.
could you stop that?
yes, i could.
my breath smells like placenta.

 

by sour29
2-23-02
darn it. you're starting to piss me off.
sorry. i get carried away sometimes.
not to get all existential and shit but if this is a cartoon, do i really exist? is my eternity doomed to abide your every whim? is there a greater purpose?
...and over here is the kitchen, and up there is the tv room...
oi vey.

 

by sour29
2-25-02
ok. so, this is a comic strip and none of this is real.
but reality is perception, and perception is reality, no?
...ummm...
thus, although you do exist on an alternate plane of reality, you also exist on this plane of constructed reality in which nothing is what is seems and what seems is nothing.
i think i liked keanu reeves better.

 

by sour29
2-25-02
i wish that there was some comprehensible way for me to explain this to you kurt...
...
...but frankly, i'm making it up as i go along.

 

by sour29
3-09-02
ok, so not only am i a figment of an over-active, pretentious and jaded teenage imagination, but i'm also being displayed internationally through the internet?
well, if you want to over-simplify it...yes.
you're telling me that there is no heaven, nor is there a hell--but only the angst ridden, testosterone driven theology of a canadian?!
give or take...
and here i was, thinking death would be a sweet release from the canadians. -sighs-

 

by sour29
6-10-02
oh, damn it.
i think i left the stove on the kettle. bbl8r, h8r.
oh shit. is that who i think it is?

 

by sour29
6-10-02
hey kurt. i just got a letter from mrs. merriam. i was cut from the choir.
there, there robin. i'm sure you'll make the reserve choir?
argh. nobody likes me. maybe i should just stab myself with this letter opener and end it all!
please do it, please do it, please do it, please please please!
bloody 'ell. i don't know where i put my bowler. i couldn't possibly die without my bowler.
damn brit.

 

by sour29
6-10-02
later...
hey kurt. i was looking for my bowler and ran into mrs. merriam.
oh?
yeah. she cut me from the reserve choir. but she said i can help stage crew hammer the set together.
i'm depressed. i think it's a side effect of my pain killers. don't worry about me, i'll just hammer this nail into my skull.
and yet he still lives. fate -is- cruel, indeed.

 

by sour29
6-10-02
hey, robin? isn't that 'superman,' the wheelchair kid, with your bowler?
hey! you crippled bastard!!
i thought he'd never leave.
hey kurt, guyeee. i'm sorry if i pissed you off. i just want you to like me, so my life can be fulfilled in knowing it's not empty and barren.
::rolls eyes::

 

by sour29
6-10-02
good. he's finally gone.
oh god. what are you doing in that trash can, robin?
"superman" beat me up.

 

by sour29
6-12-02
so... yeah. see you,
nobody loves me.
oracle. i'm glad i ran into you. if nothing else, i NEED to know why robin is such a pansy assed, mother fucking, cock sucking, dick licking, butt kissing, baby raping, corporate quarter whore.
BAAAAAAA.
this is not funny anymore.

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