All comics by spudwik

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by spudwik
12-30-08
It's tough being a chicken you know.
Howso?
You wouldn't understand. You're still a kid.
That was actually a terrible joke.
Your mother was a terrible joke. BOOYA!
You got me there good sir. You got me there.

 

by spudwik
12-30-08
Well then, welcome to the internet
Gee thanks. What do I have to look forward to?
You have mountains of porn, registration forms, arguements that go nowhere, pointless yet addictive games, people with no friends who consider you to be thier only friend..
... days being entirely wasted and you don't know where they went, being mocked and having to put up with people who think they are great.
and people pay money for this?

 

by spudwik
12-30-08
In mankind's quest for infinate knowledge..
... he has found no more bountiful areas of answers than...
.. wikipedia and the clip guy from Microsoft word

 

by spudwik
12-30-08
Mr report about the new president of Guinea is due for today
You tried copying and pasting from wikipedia?
No. I'll Go and do it now
Well done Chuck. Your report has given us a good insight into the New President. I never knew he was born with a twin sister called Saggi-Titts MacGee
...

 

by spudwik
12-30-08
I've decided to start a blog
Now everyone in the world can read about my life and find out all of the exciting things I do.
I didn't know that people were intereted in shell collecting office workers who do nothing but watch porn and listen to Elton John.
Have fun though.

 

by spudwik
12-31-08
When God Created humans...
You shall be the steward of my new planet. Earth.
I've not completed the Bible yet so..
You'll have to make do with Yahoo Answers for confusing advice.

 

by spudwik
12-31-08
I am Jesus, son of the Lord God. You may ask me one Question.
Well...
You know how Dawn Breaks every day?
Yes.
Have you ever thought to fix it?

 

by spudwik
12-31-08
How santa deals with the naughty kids.
Hello. Is that the Chrsitmas Request line?
Yes. And what would you like for christmas?
Hello Santa. I'd like a new car.
I'm Feeling Horny.
What?
What are you wearing?

 

by spudwik
12-31-08
The HNP will bring you a better democratic system and make this country a just one.
But there has been no opposition party in Hamland for the past 12 years.
There's always a minor party forms before an election. And we usually just work in a coalition anyway as they almost always promise the same things.
I shall stand for a new Hamland Reform Party. We'll change our country and inprove the jusice and the political system.
See?

 

by spudwik
1-01-09
The thing about Greeland is...
It's the best place for Clubbing

 

by spudwik
1-01-09
I was talking to my Girlfriend last night and she asked if my penis had a name
I told her I called it my Vagina

 

by spudwik
1-01-09
A black guy came up to me and called me a Racist
I told him I wasn't a racist and I quite like Black People...
It's the jews I don't like.

 

by spudwik
1-01-09
I apologise for this terrible joke. But I just had to put it into a comic when I came up with it.
I send you on the quest to bring me the Golden penis umbrella
For your quest I give you an alarm clock
why?
You'll know when the time comes.

 

by spudwik
1-02-09
You know what my new yea'rs resolution?
What?
I'm going to stop having sex with deer.
...

 

by spudwik
1-02-09
Your free market economics have caused the breakdown of fiscal repsonability and because of that I pumped your mother.

 

by spudwik
1-03-09
You know how you said that if we were the last people on earth...
no

 

by spudwik
1-06-09
Battle of British Vocab vs American Vocabulary
Jelly
Jell-o
Crisps
Chips
Chips
what?

 

by spudwik
1-06-09
So where are you from?
I'm from Scotland
Ah, that's in England isn't it.
...
AHHHH!!!!
Serves you right you gimp.

 

by spudwik
1-06-09
So what was your favourite meal baack in Scotland?
A Haggis Supper
What's that?
Well we have Chips, or what you call fries. Then we have the lungs, heart, brain, intestines and some spices, mush it into a sausage shape, cover it in a floury gloop and boil it in fat.
And you eat that?
Yeah. Wait until I tell you what they put in our MacDonalds.

 

by spudwik
1-06-09
So was MacDonalds founded in Scotland?
No, Mac is Irish. Scottish surnames start with Mc.
So you guys invented Hip-Hop?

 

How to spot fake Communists
Give them a trophy for being an outstanding induvidual. If they smile, they're fake.
by spudwik, 1-06-09

 

by spudwik
1-06-09
Serious Question
Right. So according to many Capitalists, thier ideology supports induviduality, and Communists support everyone looking the same.
But me, living in a capitalist society, sees all of these Emo Kids, Goths, Indie Kids etc. And they all look the same.
One question; What the Feck happened to capitalism?

 

by spudwik
1-22-09
Yo Yo Yo Yo, I've got this rapping in the bag
I do it every morning when I drive my Saabs
Then I rap in the evening when I give my ho crabs. POW!

 

by spudwik
2-16-09
Apparently AIDs was origionally contracted from Chimpanzees
Really?
Yeah, so someone must have pumped a chimp.
I wonder what their child would have been like
Hi Guys!

 

by spudwik
2-17-09
Moy nayme, is moycheal Coyne, end not a lo' o' poyple knaw tha'.
Actually. I did.
Life rule #1: DO NOT QUESTION THE AUTHORITY OF MICHEAL CAINE!

 

by spudwik
2-17-09
And what would you like for christmas?
Can I have a pony?
NO!

 

by spudwik
2-18-09
Where's my fecking memory Stick?!?
Nope not here
IT WAS ON MY FECKING DESK! FUUUUUUU.....

 

by spudwik
2-20-09
If I had one day as President.
For serives to the United States of America
For saving millions of confused computer illiterate people across the USA
I hereby name you "God of Computers". NOW HAIL HIM!
Did you mean: -Worship him -Praise him?

 

by spudwik
2-20-09
I want to learn more big words from your language.
Listen ou don't need to know big words
The biggest words poeple who speak english can say are "Lemonade" and "Potato"

 

by spudwik
2-20-09
That was a good date. Can I touch you boob.
no.
I love you
awww
Can I touch your boob now?

 

by spudwik
3-08-09
So you were pretty drunk last night?
Yeah, felt like everything was in fast forward.
I thought that would slow my speech down, so I tried to talk really fast to my partner so she wouldn't cotice.
You've been drinking
NoIhaven'tI'vejustbeen out. Goingtobedgoodnight.

 

by spudwik
3-22-09
Fuck. This isn't Zelgon.
...

 

by spudwik
3-22-09
Alrrighht.
What was that?

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