All comics by swervedriver

Profile

 

by swervedriver
12-17-03
Swervedriver's bedroom
Hi, I'm Swervedriver. I don't have a real job, or contribute anything to society, and I'm not particularly funny either.
Enough about you, introduce ME.
That's Fonzie. He gives me important advice and is my best friend.

 

by swervedriver
12-17-03
Well now that we're acquainted, let me introduce some of the other crazy characters in my life.
"From left to right, that's Happy Man and Nerdy Adam. Happy is a jolly fellow, while Adam is... well you know, what's in a name and all that."
"And that's Cranky Joe. Joe is an evil bastard that will stop at nothing to destroy me and everything I hold dear. Look at the evil in his eyes!"

 

by swervedriver
12-17-03
Sooo... how 'bout that baseball?

 

by swervedriver
12-18-03
YOU! Did you know that if you press your eyes really hard, you can't see anything for a few seconds?
Maybe I'll go this way.
SOMETIMES YOU SEE COLOURS!

 

by swervedriver
12-19-03
Hey. Did you hear about Adam getting a job?
No. What happened?
He got a job.
...............

 

by swervedriver
1-05-04
...... Oh, I get it.

 

by swervedriver
1-07-04
You know what I just can't stand? In some comics...
Dialogue is incorretcyl plaecd or contane typos and missspelings...
Scenes change inexplicably...
Characters appear twice in the same panel...
Sometimes the writer becomes lazy enough not to even insert characters!
They're just comics... not everything has to make sense.

 

by swervedriver
4-04-04
Sometimes
it gets so
goddamn hard.

 

by swervedriver
4-22-04
Ogyaf might have his 50th comic...
But _I_ have something cool too!
Okay, maybe not. There's nothing that could make me feel worse right now.
His 50th was a while back.

 

by swervedriver
4-22-04
GONADS!
GONADS!
You, sir, are an idiot.
GONADS!

 

by swervedriver
4-22-04
Can I ask you something?
Why do you keep making comics when it's obvious you don't have any ideas?
Habit?
That's a pretty lame answer.
Well I never even said "Yes" to the first question.

 

by swervedriver
4-25-04
So why exactly did you bring me out here?
Well, the reason I brought you here is because... here, take off your jacket first.
This better not end with you leaving me here naked.
Have you ever considered getting a tan?

 

by swervedriver
4-27-04
In today's comic, the part of Swervedriver will be played by "Calhoun" and Fonzie will be played by "Holmes."
Dad is a jerk.
Animals are superior to humans.
Calhoun & Holmes
Girls are slimy.
Especially cats.
The sincerest apologies from the author.
Let's go sledding.
I like tuna.

 

by swervedriver
4-27-04
I'm so bored, Fonz. There's nothing to do.
That's because nothing exciting ever happens around here.
I bet Ogyaf has a lot more fun than us.
I wonder what he's doing right now.
The guy in the trash is Ogyaf. You can visit his comics via the link under my comics. He doesn't know I'm using his character yet. Show him love so he doesn't hate me.
I wish I had a TV.

 

by swervedriver
4-28-04
Hey Adam, how's it going?
It's okay, I suppose.
There's nothing to do at home, so I thought I'd drop by and see what you were doing.
I'm currently trying to subtly make sexygrrl23 say "fap fap fap" by repeating it to her over and over.
Time to go home.
She has NO IDEA what it means!

 

by swervedriver
4-28-04
The guy in the yellow is Buddha. Not the religious figure. Please don't hurt me.
So how's it going Buddha?
Pretty good. I'm the sweetest guy ever.
I was with my girlfriend, and I took her to my locker and gave her roses.
I told her "They're fake," and she said "Okay." Then I said "I'll love you until the flowers die."
... But technically aren't the roses already dead if they're fake?
Note to self: Never tell Swervedriver anything ever again.

 

by swervedriver
4-29-04
... and then I realized that they weren't my socks at all!
That was the funniest story ever! You should share it with everyone.
*Austin Powers reference
Yeah, I guess... maybe next time.
That reminds me of this one time when -- OH... Wait. I'll be right back, I have to take care of a turtle problem*.
... What?
You'll understand later.

 

by swervedriver
4-29-04
Hey, how'd it go with that turtle?
Well... I feel a lot better... but don't you hate splashback?
Try putting some toilet paper in the bowl first.
That silence could mean anything.
I honestly wasn't expecting a reply with words.

 

by swervedriver
5-04-04
Swervedriver is feeling very sick.
I feel really sick, Fonz. I want to just go to sleep, but I have an obligation to entertain people!
Hmm... you do look sick... You're very pale today. Maybe you should just go to bed.
No... I have to... entertain... Nothing bad will happen...
Well, I guess you're right.
Moments later...
NNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

 

by swervedriver
5-04-04
Previously, on SWERVEDRIVER: Swervedriver was very sick, and was taken away in an ambulance.
Ugh... what the... where am I?
Hmm... this doesn't look too good for me...
Well, at least I'm alone... no chance of being mugged or raped.
Hi.

 

by swervedriver
5-04-04
Hey, I know you... you're Ogyaf!
I'm not Ogyaf; I'm Sickness! It's so sad not to have an identity...
Okay, okay, sorry Sickness... put the knife away! Now, why am I here?
Well, do you remember what happened before you woke up here? You were talking to your friend in your bedroom...
You can find a link to Sickness' comics below.
That sounds like every single day of my entire life.
Is it my fault you're boring?

 

by swervedriver
5-04-04
Okay so refresh my memory... what happened?
Well, you were feeling very sick, but you refused to rest, and you were taken away in an ambulance.
Am I... dead?
Nope. Not yet.
You can find a link to Sickness' comics below.
Okay I wanna go home now.
Ahh fine, I'm just trying to spice up your life a little.

 

by swervedriver
5-04-04
Swervedriver wakes up.
Oh thank God it's you, Fonzie! I thought I was dead! I was in a graveyard and there was this skinny pale guy there...
Sounds like you.
...And he was going to kill my with a hammer and... and... it was just a dream. And before you ask, you weren't in it... Hey, where are we?
Well, we couldn't afford a hospital, so I brought you here instead.
Time to go home.
Don't you wanna stay and find out what they're gonna do to you?

 

by swervedriver
5-07-04
So, have you been keeping up with the events in the world?
Of course I have... First, there's--
And did you read Ogyaf's new comic?
Uh... no... why?
You can find a link to Ogyaf's comics below.
Well, he's talking to a puppet in it! He spends like ten minutes doing it. The fool!

 

by swervedriver
5-11-04
Well, Mothers' Day has come and gone... what did you do for your mom?
My mom? Ugh... you don't wanna know what happened.
Flashback to Mothers' Day.
Hey, Mom, I-- OH MY GOD!
Mm...
Wh-what're you doing here?!
Is that your son? Oh boy... this is awkward.

 

by swervedriver
5-18-04
Oh my God!
What? What's wrong?
You're a puppet!
......

 

by swervedriver
5-18-04
You know, I noticed that your comics with guest characters get a better response from fans than normal comics.
Well that's just a blatant lie, Fonz.
Why's that?
Because we don't have any fans.
Good point.

 

by swervedriver
5-18-04
Hey, where are we going, Happy? This is taking forever...
Quit complaining! What do you have to whine about?
My back is sore.
Well your back is an asshole.
Well that was unexpected and uncalled for.
Keep walking.

 

by swervedriver
5-21-04
Heh heh heh...
What's so funny?
I've got a huge rash on my ass.
........... What's so funny about that?
Well now you're thinking about a huge rash on my ass.
Time to go home.

 

by swervedriver
5-23-04
You may have noticed in the past that I used this blond character to portray some crazy guy, and also a ripoff of "Calvin" from Calvin & Hobbes.
The truth is, I always used him when I needed a generic blond guy. But now...
He will be known as...
Sebastian.

 

by swervedriver
5-23-04
You know, Swerve, I actually like your comics.
Why's that? By the way, does fourth wall mean nothing to you?
Because I know who made them!
You can say you know someone famous.
Yeah!
Then when they ask you who, you'll be ashamed to tell them.

 

by swervedriver
5-23-04
You know, Seb, I introduced you to break you away from that generic blond guy character.
Yeah..?
Well you haven't done anything do differentiate yourself from when you were just generic blond #1.
How's this?
A link to Seb's comics can be found below this comic.
It's a start, but I think you should also get some pupils and a nose.
How about this?

 

by swervedriver
5-24-04
Why is there a pig in my bedroom?
Should I go with the wife joke or the mama joke?

 

by swervedriver
5-26-04
Hey, I got your message. You said you had something important you need to tell me in person?
Yes, it's VERRRRRY important.
Okay. Well what is it?
I want to change my name. I will now be known as TOKIE. You can also call me Tonkie or Pokie.
How about Pukie?
......

 

by swervedriver
5-26-04
This is Seth.
?
He has a haircut similar to an afro, and he has a goatee that makes him seem suave. He also has very large pupils.
Why are you talking like that?
Further, his forearm seems to be slightly larger than his upper arm.
Who the hell are you talking to?

 

by swervedriver
5-26-04
Hmm... I think I'm lost... Hey, here comes someone. Maybe I can ask for directions.
!
You can find a link to Raihoo's comics below.
Dude... I saw the freakiest looking thing ever! I think it might've been female.

 

by swervedriver
5-26-04
Hey...
You're--
You're freaky looking!
Damn.
That's right biatch.

 

by swervedriver
5-26-04
ARGH! This is YOUR FAULT! I keep thinking about Freaky Girl!
Groovy.
You're not even a real hippy! Stop talking like one!
Peace, man.
You talking like that makes me VERY ANGRY AT LIFE.
You're freaky looking.

 

by swervedriver
5-26-04
Fonz, I need you to verbally destroy Freaky Girl.
Alright.
You know, your mediocre fame is getting to your already large head. Your hygiene leaves much to be desired. Pluck your eyebrows.
You're just a puppet.
Oh it's on like Donkey Kong.
Bring it, biatch.

 

by swervedriver
5-26-04
You're freaky looking!
You're freaky looking!
Yo--
SHUT UP! SHUT UP DAMNIT JUST SHUT UP!

 

by swervedriver
5-28-04
KHAAAAAN!
KHAAAAAAAAN!
KHAAAAAAAAAAAN!
KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!
You're freaky looking.
Bastard.

 

by swervedriver
5-29-04
Well Sebediah, I'm glad that whole "Freaky Girl" episode is behind us.
Don't call me that. And yeah, I am too.
You're freaky looking!
I'm gonna rip out your hair if you say that one more time.

 

by swervedriver
5-29-04
Sebobo, I notice that many of our jokes end with uncomfortable silence.
Don't call me that. And yes, I've noticed this also.
Can you think of what we could do to avoid this uncomfortable silence?
Well, we could just not tell jokes anymore.

 

by swervedriver
5-29-04
You know, Fonz, there's been an influx of bad comics lately.
What do you propose?
Well, what if there was a culling process? New users are given a week to prove themselves, and old comics are killed off if they're not funny.
But if that happened we mi--

 

by swervedriver
5-31-04
I wanna name my first son "Sean."
What about "Sebulence"?
Nah... You can name your first son "Sebtacular."
Man... Do I want my son to be picked on?
Yes.
... Which is why I need to give him an UNCOOL name!

 

by swervedriver
5-31-04
What a funny-looking kid... I think I'll call you "Pukie."
Hi.
Hahaha I heard what your name is! Your name is Tokie! Hahahahahaha you should go hang yourself, but you have no neck!
Bastarrard!
Oh no! WHAT HAVE I DONE?!

 

by swervedriver
5-31-04
Hey, I have a question. How come whenever you put on your jacket, you stare off into the distance?
Well... I didn't want to tell anyone, but my jacket's made from hemp.
I hope there aren't any harmful side effects...
Time to go home.
Hi!!!

 

by swervedriver
5-31-04
Hey, I have a question.
Okay, what is it?
Whatever happened to your friend, Fonz?
Hmm... that's a good question...
Continued from "Freaky Girl Strikes Back."
No YOU'RE freaky looking!
No, YOU ARE!

 

by swervedriver
6-01-04
USE ME.
... Something's not right ...
USE ME.
Ah, I forgot to put on my jacket.
USE ME OR DIE.

 

by swervedriver
6-01-04
Hey Fonz! We did it!
Yup, we did. This is our fiftieth comic.
Yeah! We did it! Go team!
It's been fifty comics and I see you haven't matured a bit.
That's true... I still can't grow a damn beard.
Well, I meant emotionally, but I see that you haven't matured mentally either. I can't believe I don't have my own spinoff yet.

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