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  the_amazing_ragu  

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I was raised by a brood of Irish Setters, the mother of which had only one leg and breathed with much difficulty. After her death I became surrogate mother (despite my maleness) to nine pups, six of whom I taught to speak Esperanto (the other three were lazy). I later learned to write after I was visited by the ghost of Jack Kerouac, and was soon adopted by two elephants who swore that they were not animals, they were human beings. I have since resided in a discarded refrigerator box, singing sea chanties for nickels.
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by the_amazing_ragu
10-01-01
how come you never look at me when i'm speaking to you?
you're a squirrel; you don't have speech capabilities.
you can hear me can't you? so obviously you're just a jackass.
that's right, squirrel. you're apparently too bright for me.
so.......got any nuts?
two o' the biggest you ever seen. but you sure as shit ain't touchin' 'em.
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