All comics by thedarkness707

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by thedarkness707
10-31-02
So what do you think of the new guy?
He creeps me out.
You're Death... and He creeps you out? You wuss.
You calling me a wuss flyboy?
Butch felt left out... Just like thespians not include a new guy in big performances.

 

by thedarkness707
10-31-02
Butch didnt know why people always asked that when he was just supposed to walk in yelling and waving an axe.
Ok new guy. You sure you have your lines down?
$5 says he screws up.
Youre on.
Raaaaaa!!!!!!
Damn, you win.

 

by thedarkness707
10-31-02
Alright little girl, you'll be playing opposite our new guy.
Ok mister Director.
Butch didnt know what was said, but nobody talked about his mother but him...
Damn Butch, did you hear what that little kid was saying about your mother?
Oh, to easy.
Momeeeeeee..... ~gurgle~

 

by thedarkness707
10-31-02
I'm telling you ma'am, I have no idea where your daughter is.
I was sure she said she was going to be here...
Why dont you go tell that guy over there about it... maybe he can help.
That creepy guy over there.... ok.
Butch tried appologizing, but when she started talking about the police, he knew the bitch had to die.

 

by thedarkness707
10-31-02
Well that didnt go all THAT bad...
Oh please... how many times before has half the cast died BEFORE the show opens?
You trying to imply something?
Hell yeah, your casting skills suck... He doesnt even LOOK like Rhett... and she sure as hell wasnt Scarlet material...
Butch decided to go home since they obviously werent going to include him in the fun even after the play.

 

by thedarkness707
10-31-02
Da da dada dada da da, da da dada dada da
Da da dada dada da da, da da dada dada da
Dada dada da da dum. TEQUILA!

 

by thedarkness707
10-31-02
Ok, what play do we do this time?
How about a drama/musical?
You mean like Purple Rain?
Hmm, how would we go about that?
Well, we get some pathetic young rapper, make a play about him overcoming adversity and an overbearing parent while making a start in the music business and finding true love all while raising a kid..
Oooo, and we can call it '8 Mile'. Of course you realize that imitating 'Purple Rain' may mean it will suck just as bad, right?

 

by thedarkness707
10-31-02
Whats going on here?
I'm a leaving your crummy 2-bit production company.
Its because we served chicken backstage isnt it?
....................... no, it wasnt.
Awwww hell, me and my big mouth.
You'll be hearing from my attorney.

 

by thedarkness707
10-31-02
We have a problem.... the chicken quit. Now we have no star.
No, thats your problem.
No, WE have a problem. If we have no star, there are no groupies and no nookie for you.
................
Heh heh heh heh heh
Damn you and your logic.

 

by thedarkness707
10-31-02
Grim Looks for a new star.
To young.
To pixelated.
To hippie

 

by thedarkness707
10-31-02
Grim still looking for a new star.
To upstanding
To furry
We're fucked.

 

by thedarkness707
10-31-02
Yoy shit, you cant even find some pathetic idiot to be in a play?
Well... its like this....
Fine, I'll do it myself.
Like you could do any better?
Yo bitch... want a job?

 

by thedarkness707
10-31-02
Ok, I got us a star.
WTF!! .... You call THAT a star??
We're on a budget, ok?
Yeah..... but still....
We are sooo fucked.
Do either of you boys have any Preperation-H? My hemroids are acting up.

 

by thedarkness707
10-31-02
Grim gets his groove on with the new star.
Ohhh baby, that feels soo good.
~tee hee~ Oh Grim, I bet you say that to all the girls.
I didnt think you would be this tight at your age..
Well, I what do you expect with my dentures out?
So, get some? ~heh heh heh~
Fire the bitch

 

by thedarkness707
11-02-02
There will be a short intermission.

 

by thedarkness707
11-02-02
So now what?
Well, we find someone more fitting with our unique needs as an independant acting troupe.
What do you mean?
I mean that we need someone who can be an active participant in branstorming new acts as well as being an energetic and charismatic performer.
You mean you want to find a hot chick without removable teeth.
Fuck you.

 

by thedarkness707
11-03-02
I was thinking...
Aww hell, here we go...
What if we put our acting company online and let the talent come to us?
Sure, the fat pigs and no talent buttheads should roll right in.
I said the internet... not post it in an AOL chatroom.
There is a diffrence for most people?

 

by thedarkness707
11-03-02
Hey grim, how do you turn this thing on?
If I tell you, promise not to do anything that will get arrested again?
I promise.
Promise also not to sell out to mass marketed propaganda and big business hype?
Of course I wont.
Promise you also wont delete my porn again?

 

by thedarkness707
11-03-02
Now hows this thing work .... Maybe if I put this in here like that....
He's gonna break me again, I know it.
That should do it.
Welcome! You have mail!
heh heh heh
AAAIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

 

by thedarkness707
11-03-02
You did WHAT to my computer?
Awww, come on Grim, it was just one little program, no big deal right?
You have no idea do you?
No idea of what?
*Posted: Talent wanted to play role in major theatrical event.*
Damn, anotherone moving in on my territory.

 

by thedarkness707
11-03-02
Hmmm, lets see what we got.
joo |)00|)5, (|-|3(|
What tha... ?
|2|(|-|0|_|5 |)00|) ... (4/\/ | |3 4 574|2 700?
Fucking script kiddies
/\/0, j00 /\/\|_|57 411 p|-|33|2 /\/\'/ 1337 /\/3|

 

by thedarkness707
11-03-02
WTF happened?
You idiot! There is a bug that wont let you type some phrases in 'leet'
The fuck you say...
Yeah, the phrases used in the last comic were recognized as an HTML tag and edited out in the pages script as an error
Awwww hell.
Yeah, and it was such a good joke on www.megatokyo.com too.

 

by thedarkness707
11-03-02
Let me get this straight.... you installed AOL on my PC, the posted an ad for talent in a chat forum where the prime respondants will be underage teenie-boppers looking to make it big in the Theatre?
Yup, thats pretty much it.
And you furthermore expect ME to interview them? With them doing everything they can to convince me to make them a star?
Yup.
~sniffle~ I love you man.

 

by thedarkness707
11-03-02
Auditions today
I love that man.

 

by thedarkness707
11-03-02
whump whump whump whump
whump whump whump whump
whump whump whump whump

 

by thedarkness707
11-03-02
whump whump whump whump
whump whump whump whump
So, find our star?
Ummmm, no. But get me 2 more packs of trojans and a pack of camels. I have 5 more interviews scheduled for today.

 

by thedarkness707
2-16-04
Ok, so its time for a new play. Whats on the agenda?
I am thinking of a show merger... think castaway stumbling on the set of survivor.
... this is gonna suck.
I mean come on... guy who hasnt had any in ages happens upon some cute, tanned, sexy women? It'll be golden!
You are one twisted fuck, know that?
This from the guy who had to clean Efferdent off his 'tool' ...

 

by thedarkness707
2-16-04
Ok, so how do we get Tom Hanks and the cast of Survivor to all be in our play?
Well.... they are a little out of our budget range...
No shit Sherlock. So how we gonna do it?
Well, since we are wanting it to be kind of 'racy', I was thinking maybe we can get a few porn stars to fill in.
... thats one of the worst puns I have ever heard.
What do you care anyway, so long as you get some?

 

by thedarkness707
2-16-04
Ok, now I am pissed... there is some fat slob whos hung like a horse, getting a hummer while reading his script... in MY room!!!
So whats the problem?
.......
Well?
The person giving him the hummer was a guy too and 'peeking' out from under his dress. Where did you find these guys?
Look, cheap work is hard to find, ok?

 

by thedarkness707
2-16-04
Ok people.... lets get set up for the first take!
Ummm, there seems to be a problem....
~sigh~ What now?
Well, the leading man wasnt shaved and a supporting member has braces.....
.... well get a squirt gun and fill it with nair. If he was down there, he wont mind the taste anyways.
~squirt squirt squirt~ AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

 

by thedarkness707
2-16-04
Ok, now that we have dispensed with the 'hair' issue, our leading man will be out for a bit. But we have a replacement. Take your places.
Butch wondered how he was going to play opposite this loser who had obviously never studied Theatre.... and WHAT was stuck in that guys teeth?
What do you mean 'lost' an actor? How the hell do you 'lose' some bearded hick who smells like sheep?
No clue, now lets scram before the authorities get here again.

 

by thedarkness707
2-16-04
There will be a breif intermission.

 

by thedarkness707
2-16-04
So what do you want to do tomorrow night Bud?
The same thing we do every knight Grim ...
Make fun of current events, slander stars, criticize public opinion, and further our never endeding quest for nookie?
I was thinking more along the lines of political satire, but that works.
So how would we mesh our rich sense of humor, quest for nookie, and political satire?
I dunno, get Jenna Jameson to run for office and then be her pole-itical advisor?

 

by thedarkness707
2-16-04
Flyboy gets artistic help.
Ok, we need a fewsigns for the JJ for Prez campaign. You up to it?
Sure, but that slut is gonna need some serious help.
Flyboy gets artistic help.
Well, what do you suggest?
I suggest we work on eliminating the falehoods surrounding her pornstar persona.
Flyboy gets artistic help.
False hoo.... HEY! WOAH! I think this country cares a great deal for her 'falsehoods' the way, and size, they are.

 

by thedarkness707
2-16-04
The artist wanted to WHAT?
He wanted to reduce her 'falsehoods'.
... but ....
Yeah, would be a tragedy if that happened.
... but in the flick last night, that hood was pierced.... It didnt look very 'false'.
You are either more niave than I thought, or a lot more of a perv.... I cant decide which it is.

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