Elf vs. Pants 4: The Trouble with Homonyms

Author: umfumdisi

Date: August 9, 2003

by umfumdisi
8-09-03
A letter arrives at Pants HQ:
"Mr. Pants: It behooves me to inform you that the package you sent was opened by my beloved roommate, Hermie."
"Poor Hermie could little resist a box which seemingly contained the implements of his chosen profession."
"As our efforts to eliminate each other have thusly failed, I propose a cerebral battle at Chess Square. I will bring another package. The loser of the game must open the package. ELF."
The little buggerer wants to mate me.