All comics by vichyssoisegirl

Profile

 

by vichyssoisegirl
9-08-02
So I was just wondering if you'd...
No.

 

by vichyssoisegirl
9-08-02
Who are you?
I'm you, of course.
How can you be me? I'm me. We can't both be me.
We can and we are. Both you. I mean me.
I'm confused.
Of course I am.

 

by vichyssoisegirl
9-08-02
I'd like a dead cat for two. Smoking if you have it.
I'm sorry sir, we're booked solid. Perhaps if you'd care to wait at the bar?
Would you look at that? Someone left a twenty dollar bill here on the ground.
I believe an excellent ball of dung just opened up.
Marvelous.
If you'd care to follow me, sir?

 

by vichyssoisegirl
9-08-02
Say Vern. Think you could loan me $20?
I just fronted you some last week and you haven't paid that back. Do I look like a bank?
Oh, I paid that back. Sure of it. You know elephants, the memory and all.
Oh, yeah well I guess... Hey, wait a fucking minute. That's what you said last time! Pay up fucker!
I left my wallet in my other pants.
Bitch.

 

by vichyssoisegirl
9-08-02
What you got there?
It's my letter of acceptance to MIT. Just came today.
Kick ass! Can I see?
Sure.
This is a big picture of a penis drawn in crayon.
Yeah, well... A guy's gotta dream, right?

 

by vichyssoisegirl
9-11-02
We got problems, boss.
Another elf fall into the fucking ribbon machine? OSHA's gonna have our ass.
Worse. Rudolph got a hold of some bad blow and he's in a coma.
Shit. Well, you know what to do.
Get a road flare and some duct tape and find Dasher.
You got it.

 

by vichyssoisegirl
9-11-02
My mom is visiting.
She staying long?
Just for a few days. But she's driving me nuts.
How so?
She's been here less than a day and already she's sewn my name into all my underwear.
She must be stopped.

 

by vichyssoisegirl
9-12-02
So I says, "Well, them rotor turbines ain't gonna generate gravitons by themselves!"
That joke was pretty dumb the first time, and it ain't getting any better.
You wanna kick me in the nuts, then?
No.

 

by vichyssoisegirl
9-13-02
Hey vichypoo, thanks for coming to my whiz-bang Austrian shindig. We've got Vienna sausages.
This place is really hopping.
Yeah. I totally rule. You see how many people showed up?
Yeah. But did anyone come besides the stuffed animals over on the couch and those cardboard Star Trek standees?
Hey, just because Mr. Woogles doesn't want to talk to you doesn't mean he's not a happening sock monkey.
Whatever, geek. I'm gonna be over in the corner making out with Dr. Crusher.

 

by vichyssoisegirl
9-13-02
...software engineer blah blah robotics blah blah music producer blah blah master thespian blah blah alligator wrestler blah blah want to be Shaft...
This party blows. You wanna go back to my place?
Well Mr. Woogles, looks like it's just you and me. I don't understand the ladies. Maybe it's...
Whatever, geek. I'm gonna be over in the corner making out with Babar.

 

by vichyssoisegirl
9-13-02
Thank you folks. We are 'bioENema'. T-Shirts and CDs are available in the lobby.
I'd just like to say that our average audience is about a 7 or 8. You guys are about a 2. Maybe you should work on that.
YOU SUCK!
Don't make me start reciting other peoples lyrics at you fuckers.

 

by vichyssoisegirl
9-13-02
I don't get it. She should dig me. I'm about as fly as you can get. I'm talented and successful, and I even kissed a girl once.
What would Jesus do?
Jesus would stop being such a dork and move out of his parent's basement.

 

by vichyssoisegirl
9-13-02
I'm a software engineer, owner of real ai technolgies ltd and assembler active, creator of the 4-state m_use bit...
...designer of natural language proccesing programming languages, pattern recognition systems, robotics...
Then how come you have trouble with HTML and you host your company's site on Geocities?

 

by vichyssoisegirl
9-14-02
i have me reasons to host my on the servers they are. furthermore : just turn the fucking URL - cloacking back on by going into the options menu
Ha, ha!
What the fuck are you talking about?

 

by vichyssoisegirl
9-15-02
I'm a reporter for Wired magazine. I've got an appointment to do an internew with sub_m7.
He's a little busy right now. You might want to come back later.
What's he doing? Working on the 4 state m_bit? Designing a new robot? Producing a chart topping international album?
I think he's jacking off to the lingerie ad in the newspaper again.

 

by vichyssoisegirl
9-15-02
Hey, it's just not working out. I'm a famous programmer and record producer. I can't hang out with a stuffed animal any more.
Ok, if that's that way you feel.
But when you starting wetting the bed again 'cause you're afraid of the monster in the closet, don't come crying to me.
I'm sorry, Mr. Woogles. I never should have doubted you.
No problem. Now will you get your hand off my ass?

 

by vichyssoisegirl
9-16-02
Sorry fella, I'm gonna have to shut down your little party here.
But we're having a good time!
Riiiiight..... Yo, Jimmy, pull the wagon around front.
You don't have to take everyone, do you?
Hmmm.... well... I'll let the orangutan stay. But the corpses have to go.

 

by vichyssoisegirl
9-16-02
Who's up for the chicken dance again? Huh? C'mon!
I'm gonna distract him for a moment. When his back is turned, you hit him with the rock.
Gotcha.

 

by vichyssoisegirl
9-16-02
Check it out! I taught the dog to smoke out of the bong!
Hey, guys. Let me back in, huh?
WOOHOO! Time for naked twister! Someone tap that other keg!
Please?
PARRRTTTTYYYYY!
I'll give you one of my cool nicknames.

 

by vichyssoisegirl
9-17-02
Wanna make out?

 

by vichyssoisegirl
9-20-02
Hi, I'm not sub_m7. I'm totally a different guy.
A guy that's not sub_m7. Someone different.
Did you know you mom sews your name into the back of your underwear?

 

by vichyssoisegirl
9-24-02
What'd you want to talk to me about, dad?
Son, I found these in your room.
Uh....
Are these marijuana cigarettes, son?
Look, I can ex...
Can I bum one?

 

by vichyssoisegirl
9-24-02
Phineas Gage!
*CRACK!*
Thank you.

 

by vichyssoisegirl
9-26-02
Is your site still up?
Yes. He's even two hours overdue.
He might still do it, you know.
Yeah, maybe. Maybe he's working on it right now.
Meanwhile, at sub_m7's house...
Mom! I locked myself in the closet by accident. Mom! Hello?

 

by vichyssoisegirl
9-30-02
Hi honey. I see you made it back to the hotel in one piece. Did you have fun playing with those nice English boys?
I sure did. They showed me where they hung out, and we went to the store, and I saw the Underground...
That's nice.
And they taught me this cool game you play with a cracke...
Pack your stuff. We're getting out of this gross country.
But tomorrow we were gonna go get pints, whatever those are.

 

by vichyssoisegirl
9-30-02
What a brilliant idea. Spend our honeymoon in Antarctica.
Don't start with me again. How was I supposed to know this blizzard would hit and we'd have to spend the whole two weeks underground?
Oh, forget it. What's on the entertainment calendar?
Hmmm.... they're showing John Carpenter's 'The Thing' again at 8.
Shoot me. Please.
Ooo! Look over here! Ice!

 

by vichyssoisegirl
10-07-02

 

by vichyssoisegirl
10-11-02
Guys! Hey, guys?
I'm ready. I got my bag and everything. Just flush them out my way.
Snipes look like what again?

 

by vichyssoisegirl
10-20-02
Mom, my tummy hurts. I drank a bottle of some blue stuff I found under the sink.
Christ! You're twenty two! I thought we agreed you wouldn't eat the stuff with the Mr. Yuck stickers!
Three days later...
I thought maybe you might have filled them with punch this time.
I'm trading you in for a dog.

 

by vichyssoisegirl
10-29-02
Did I ever tell you about the time I was a hippie and I had a pet monkey that used to deal smack?
I got game.
Sure you do, bitch.
Wait. I screwed that up.

 

by vichyssoisegirl
11-05-02
So. What should we do tonight?
I dunno.
Maybe we should light something on fire.
That's sounds great. What should we start with?
How about you?
That doesn't sound so great.

 

by vichyssoisegirl
1-14-05
It's from some law firm. Looks like another restraining order from Angela Lansbury.
You weren't stealing her trash again, were you?
I just happened to be behind her in the supermarket.
That's not too we...
Then somehow I ended up chewing on her shoes.
You need help.

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