victorino  

So I'm trying this new Korean restaurant, and I order the Korean BBQ pork. You can get it from one to twelve stars hot.

Let me guess. You were thinking "twelve stars" was the same as "five stars" in other restaurants, right? Not that it was just that much hotter? And you ordered what . . . a seven?

Twelve.

So? How was it?

I'm writing a song about it. It's called "There's a hole in my ass where my asshole used to be."