All comics by warped_angel

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by warped_angel
10-06-07
hows the war going young feller...?
ok i guess....sigh...
is something wrong...?
everyone is dead but me...
oh i would'nt worry ...i'm sure someone will come along soon and kill you..
you really think so..?

 

by warped_angel
10-06-07
what...are you doing...
i'm going to stick this knife into you...!
you have to be joking...
no..i'm going to kill you....!
Oh....Puh - leez...
you know this is hard enuff' with out you beggin' me to do it....

 

by warped_angel
10-06-07
damn...those dudes aint got jit' man...!
rock on yeah...! whoa dude you got guitar envy writen all over you man...
this concert sux...! i should be up there jammin'...!
you would be..but..one)..you have to actualy play guitar...and two)..theres no way a lazy slob like you would ever play a guitar...
i had to pawn my guitar to score some weed..i told you that aready... frylock...!

 

by warped_angel
10-06-07
hey kid wann'a date..need to score....
date...? score...?
damn kid you can't be that damned stupid....!
i'm living my life for the lord..!
listen up kid...if i don't sell some of this meth...and bring some cash back to my pimp...he's gonn'a bash my head in..got it...!
damn..ma' you aint makin' it easy to live for the lord you know....

 

by warped_angel
10-06-07
oh great it's my mom...
joey we know what your doing down here....we've seen the porn sites you visited..
jesus christ mom..you and your lesbian lover strutin' around in your lingerie all the time ...whats a guy to do...!
maybe you should live with your father...sniff sniff..
oh yeah..Mr. got a same sex partner..with BDSM decorated house...
nevermind...supper will be ready in an hour..don't forget to wash your hands sweetie..ok...

 

by warped_angel
10-06-07
dude you're so stoned..thats the most pot i've ever smoked.....
hi sammy
get out'a here before i smash your head in...
you know there's a reason why they call it dope...
bite me...
thats ok when you passout...i'm going to dry hump your leg...

 

by warped_angel
10-06-07
man that was the best honey..!
how was it for you...?
HA HA HA HA..sorry love..i forgot you were dead...

 

so you gonn'a swollow that or spit it out...?
by warped_angel, 10-06-07

 

by warped_angel
10-06-07
hey honey you have any extra crack on ya'..
um..no.....
what'cha lookin' at....?
well it's not every day you see britteny spears in a girls locker room thats all...

 

by warped_angel
10-06-07
prepair to get yer' ass kicked scumbag...!
ha!....thats a laugh...!
tornado kick..! your not looking at my panties are you...?
ouch...! that hurts..!...no...!
oh my god...!...ewwwwwww...! gross...!
can i have my balls back plaese....

 

by warped_angel
10-09-07
wow...i have'nt seen anyone in weeks...!
i had give'n up all hope...
i guess we're like adam and eve or sum'thin' huh...?
hmmm..... i guess your right..take off your clothes...
wow...! my boyfriend used to have the same panties....! small world huh...?

 

by warped_angel
10-09-07
no...sorry i don't think i've seen anyone like that around here..
that's ok...say wann'a have a cup of coffee...?
gee....i would really like to....but...
it's the way i look is'nt it...?
no...it's the way you smell..i'm really sorry..i have to go now....
before you go can you unzip me so i can whiz on that cop car over there.....?

 

by warped_angel
10-09-07
stay back...!
stay back...i'm warnin' ya'..i'll shoot...!
oh great...! i'm being protected by the idiot who always get's his ass trashed on star trek...

 

by warped_angel
10-09-07
well if it is'nt capt'n hook..
aarrrr...if it is'nt a wee crack whore..
hows 5 $ sound me lass...?
make 15 $ and you can leave the hook on...peckerwood...

 

by warped_angel
10-09-07
i'm sorry..i just don't think this will work anymore harry...
aw come'on baby we got lots o' love to share....
it's not that... i guess it's just me.....
did'nt i spank you hard enough...did'nt i tie those ropes extra tight...what was it..?
damn it harry! your just not funny anymore....!

 

by warped_angel
10-09-07
dad...?
yes son....
when i grow up i want to be just like you.....!
one cazy homo criminal master mind...in the family is enough son....
can you stop trying to take over the world ..for just 10 seconds..and give me some attention...!

 

by warped_angel
10-09-07
dude..! like this is the best party ever...!
theres just one thing wrong dude....
drop the ray-gun..and dial 911..you bastard !

 

by warped_angel
10-09-07
where ya' goin" merv...?
i have to go..my dreams are calling....
will we ever see you again...?
you never know..just look for me...percahnce you'll see me one day...
i'll look at every gay BDSM porn site i can find....
choke my chicken dot com here i come...!

 

by warped_angel
10-09-07
their bombing us...! i have to save my pussy...!
dont be afraid kitty
some people will use any excuse to sodomize their cats....

 

by warped_angel
10-09-07
Mr. monster person...these alligators really look hungry..
do they now....
please let me out....
well whats your answer then...
dang it..i just don't know...
choose.....! me or the alligators...either way your screwed...

 

by warped_angel
10-09-07
wow look at those tinker bell granny panties are'nt they just the cutest things...!
ma'....
yes son...
this is the last time i take you looting...
women just take longer to loot...if you don't want to be seen in the woman's section just go back to the boat...ship or what ever you call it...

 

by warped_angel
10-09-07
you can relax now i'm here to save you...
really....?
yeah...really..
thanx...Mr run screamin' like a pussy behind a rock till the space thing got done kicking our asses..

 

by warped_angel
10-09-07
who are you...?
your so special tommy..i'm here to grant you a wish....
anything i want..?
yes what ever you desire...
ok those tits better be lactating..now take off your clothes slowly...
sigh...i hate this job...

 

by warped_angel
10-09-07
hey i thought this was a school..?
it is...
what kind of school is this anyway..?
the wack off a chicken's head school...
you know i really learned something today...
not yet you have'nt...

 

by warped_angel
10-09-07
hey you think gay people should be able to marry..?
no....
why not..?
then the devorce rate would skyrocket out of control...
dude what are you talking about..?
ok..ok..i'm for it...only because it would make the only day i work easier..ok i said it..you happy now...

 

by warped_angel
10-09-07
if i make the pope my slave ..i can rule the world...
i know you're behind me vampire...
then you know what i'm here for...
yes...
ok ..i fly out the window and pretend this did'nt happen...
start sucking..... my son...

 

by warped_angel
10-09-07
oh the humanity..!
the horror..!
the flight attendent got sucked out the plane...!
you know whats the worst part is...!
what dude..?
she took my nuts with her...!

 

by warped_angel
10-09-07
hey there young feller..could you get me some of those small packets of nija sauce..?
no...
why not..?
because this is soy burger..you idiot i'm going nija on my stupid boss and fellow employees...!
oh..i see...um well could you look for some sauce for me anyway...?
fine..! wait here there's still one or two things i have to hack up...k'

 

by warped_angel
10-09-07
hey you the idiot hunter that keeps gettin'tricked by the local rabbits...?
um...yeah...
i'm from the NRA..i'll have to inspect your gun....how many times you been tricked..?
37 times today..it's embaressing...
looks like this is'nt your lucky day mister...those pants knees are awful clean..we'll have to see what we can do about that huh..?
well it's not as if i did'nt want to eat rabbit today....

 

by warped_angel
10-09-07
hi molly...
hi larry...same as yesterday..?
yeah ok...sounds good...
step this way...
thanx molly...see ya' tommorrow...
buh-bye...!

 

by warped_angel
10-09-07
ok hands in the air idiot...
ok...you got me fair and square..no need to insult me...
that's the least of your worries moron...
why's that ...?
you brought a knife to a gun fight..retard....

 

by warped_angel
10-10-07
son i've come to talk to you about your mother and i fighting...
what part do you want to explain..? the part where mom made you sream like a bitch...or cry like a pussy..?
so what happens now...
well i basicly go back and wimper and grovel then with any luck she'll forgive me for her mistakes...

 

by warped_angel
10-10-07
damn it...i never know what to give these street musicians...
she rocked me alllllll nighhhht long..!
if i throw in to little i feel guilty that they were really good......if i think i throw in to much i feel like he was'nt good enough....
you baby....you baby rocked me alllll ni-i-i-i-ght long...!
srcew it ..! i'll just kill them all...and let god sort them out...!
you baby...you baby...you baby...rock it all night long...hey dude cool axe......

 

by warped_angel
10-10-07
oh Mr. death please don't kill me...puh..! leeeeze!
why should'nt i kill you..?
because...i've got soooo much to live for...!i have a wife,...daughter,...job,...house....
in ...5...4...3...2...1..
on second though...puh-leeeze..! kill me Mr.death....puh..! leeeze...!

 

by warped_angel
10-10-07
gawd i hate that kid
ha ha girls have to wear panties...
go away kid before i kick your ass...
hey will you show me your panties...?
no just go way...!
you won't show them to me because you'd think mine were prettier...ha ha...!

 

by warped_angel
10-10-07
wow sissie..thanx for comming over tonight...hey you think you could teach me to ride your broom...?
ok but it's a secret so you can't tell the other girls in class....
jeepers...! i won't tell..honest injun... i won't...! what do i have to do...?
first you have to vow to do all i command...
i so vow i will do all you command...now what...?
you take off your bra and panties.. bend over on the bed...and let the sweet magic happen...

 

by warped_angel
10-10-07
are we puppets...?
no....i'm up here so you won't be...if you so choose ...
why do i feel like one then....?
thats easy to explain....god has written it all down....
your talking bout the bible...huh...?
start with psalms 90...but don't let others tell you what it says...thats the holy spirit's job..k'

 

by warped_angel
10-10-07
if i believe in you people will make fun of me....
it's writen.."if you believe, you believe to yourself...if you doubt ..you alone will bare it..."people make fun of me all the time...
does'nt that hurt...?
the power of humility...conquers all...
but your nailed to a cross...
are not the strings that control you nailed to wood as well..only others control it...

 

by warped_angel
10-10-07
welcome to lamb on a stick..can i help you sir...?
my you have so many choices here....
yes we aim to please...
what to have...what to have....it all looks so good..mabe the...no..had that yesterday..perhaps the...um....
jesus christ..! will you order something already...!
ok..ok..give me the ceasar salad with this is my body bread..and to drink give me this is the cup of my blood wine...oh super size that ....please...

 

by warped_angel
10-10-07
lets see..coffin nailed shut...hole filled in...
better check the list to see if i forgot anything....whoops almost forgot before i go....
i told you i'd piss on your grave ..you bastard...!

 

by warped_angel
10-10-07
whoa dude your wearin' a dress man....
no... this is a kilt..scottish dudes wear them all the time...
why wear a kilt to the mall dude...?
so bigger kids like me can take littler kids like you outside to kick their asses for askin' stupid questions thats why..freak...
um like dude i don't want my ass kicked...
ha ha ha thats funny..the only choice you have is..do you get your ass kicked now or later...ha ha

 

by warped_angel
10-10-07
scuse me ..would you like to donate to the kidney foundation..?
well it is a good cause..yes ..i will gladly donate to your cause young man....
are you sure..?
why yes i'm sure...
excellent...!

 

by warped_angel
10-10-07
way cool...! the 10th level..!
hey billy why don't you watch some porn...?
i don't know if that's such a good idea..
hey you want the other kids to think your gay or somethin'...?
i don't know if this is such a good idea....
trust me...you want the other kids to think your gay or somethin'....!

 

by warped_angel
10-10-07
oh gawd not him again...
hey lil' doggie...wann'a nice muffin'...
no....!
here have a nice drink of water....
kid just shove your damn roofies up your ass and go home...will ya'...!

 

by warped_angel
10-10-07
your a bastard carl...
ha ha i know earl..but what you going to do about it huh...hahaha...
karma will jerk a knot in your stem one day..you'll see....!
ha ha ha ha karma's for losers earl..and you know it ha ha ha ha ha...!
sure was nice of earl to give me this plant...i don't know wether to eat it or smoke it....?
earl!..not funny earl !...ok i'll give you 40% credit on the donson account..earl..! earl..!...damn you earl....!

 

by warped_angel
10-10-07
hey did you see what i just did..?
no... what did you just do..?
i just killed jesus the son of god ..nailed to a cross..nice touch huh...
yeah nice touch dude..i can't wait....
can't wait for what..?
i can't wait to see the look on your face when he comes down here and kicks your ass...!

 

by warped_angel
10-10-07
what do you mean kick my ass...?
well jesus is the son of god right...well he was human..all humans come down here right..?
yeah so...
well he has to show up here...plus now he's a god..and your just a has been arc angel...
shit...!
yeah your in it deep..and what ever's left in your sorry ass he's going to kick the hell out of you..!

 

by warped_angel
10-10-07
he has to be subject to us...
oh yeah the guy who raised the dead...yeah sure he' ll be...what sandle do you think he'll shine on your dumb ass..?
death you got to help me out dude..or else we're finished...!
hey ! just cause you used me to kill jesus does'nt mean i have to save ya'..hey i know why not ask jesus..he might do it...
ha ha very funny... um who do you suppose is knock'in on our gate..?
gee i dun'no..could be the avon lady cause our door bell is busted..or could be the son of god to get his sandles shined..you pick..

 

by warped_angel
10-10-07
hey you aint jesus...! ?
that was my earth name...you can call me what you have in the past...god...
hey that whole crusifixtion thingy...um you know... i er...well you see....
it was of my own design...no need to thank me...
your design..? for what..?
to set free those who are mine....

 

by warped_angel
10-10-07
hey you don't want these people their nothing but sinners...
i'll be the judge of that...
what will happen to me...! ?
well another demotion is in order...lets knock you down to human temtation and stupidity...that sounds good..
well you can count on me sir...yessir-ree-nee..
shut up satan..i don't know whats worse you kissing my ass or me wanting to kick it...

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