All comics by wildfire

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by wildfire
11-13-01
Coming Soon...
...an epic tale starring Jesus about struggle...
...and the holidays

 

by wildfire
11-15-01
December 24th, 11:30 pm - Jesus sleeps...
zzzzz.....
...when, suddenly, he is woken by a ghost!
wha.... SWEET JESUS!!!!!
boo!
Judas?
oooooo....

 

by wildfire
11-16-01
Jesus is woken by a ghost!
Dear Lord!
ooooo.....
Judas, what in God's name are you doing here? You're dead!
So are you.
Good point...
ooooo.....

 

by wildfire
11-19-01
Jesus is visited by the ghost of Judas!
What are you doing here?
Tonight you will be haunted by three spirits...
You're shitting me...
Hey, that's what the script says...

 

by wildfire
11-21-01
Jesus is visited by the ghost of Judas
Three spirits?
Yep, three. Christmas Past, Christmas Present...
Wait, wait, wait...
I thought there was something immoral about contacting the spiritual realm?
When did you become a bible thumper?

 

by wildfire
12-21-01
Jesus is visited by the ghost of Judas
Three in one night? Didn't Dickens have it over three or four nights?
Yeah...
...but with rip off after bastardized rip off, Dickens original tale is lost to a mass commercialized product used and abused for the sake of an impatient populace...
Wow, THAT sounds familiar!

 

by wildfire
12-21-01
Jesus is visited by the ghost of Judas
Okay, I'm outta here, that Past guy should be here any moment...
Latah
Christ, and I have an early day tomorrow...
Word up!

 

by wildfire
12-21-01
Jesus is visited by... something...
AAAAAHHHHH!!!!! You wouldn't take advantage of a guy nailed to a cross, would you?
NO! Woah, I'm just the Ghost of Christmas Past!
Oh, oh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be so quick to judge...
That's okay.
NO!
Though, if you're up for...

 

by wildfire
12-21-01
Jesus is visited by the Ghost of Christmas Past
So, what are you doing here?
Well, I'm here to show you the first Christmas...
Uhhh.....
*sniff* it's so moving!
*sex*uh*ah*uhh* *oh*sex*arf* *uh*oh*uhhhh.....*

 

by wildfire
12-21-01
Jesus is visited by the Ghost of Christmas Past
Dude, first off, I was immaculately conceived...
*sex*uh*ah*uhh* *oh*sex*arf* *uh*oh*uhhhh.....*
Secondly, THOSE AREN'T MY PARENTS!!!!
Yeah, so...
*sex*uh*ah*uhh* *oh*sex*arf* *uh*oh*uhhhh.....*

 

by wildfire
12-21-01
Jesus is visited by the Ghost of Christmas Past
If this is all you have to show me can we just go back now...
Well, I still have that tape of Mary Magdalene
*sex*uh*ah*uhh* *oh*sex*arf* *uh*oh*uhhhh.....*
We're going back NOW!
Oh, come on!
*sex*uh*ah*uhh* *oh*sex*arf* *uh*oh*uhhhh.....*

 

by wildfire
12-21-01
Jesus is visited by the Ghost of Christmas Past
Look, I'm just not into that kinda thing.
Dude, you're such a bad sport!
So.... we're here.... all alone...
NO!
Oh, come ON!

 

by wildfire
12-21-01
The Ghost of Christmas Past knocks off early...
Christ...
That guy scared the shit outta me...
And they keep getting worse...
We are the all singing all dancing shit of the world...

 

by wildfire
12-21-01
Let me tall ya about Tyler Durden. He had a night gig as the Ghost of Christmas Present.
Why would anyone want this shit job?
Hey, did Past leave that tape of Magdelene anywhere?

 

by wildfire
12-21-01
Jesus is visited by the Ghost of Christmas Present
Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you...
Happy birthday, Ikea Boy...
Happy birthday to you!

 

by wildfire
12-21-01
Jesus is visited by the Ghost of Christmas Present
Your father was your model for God. And if your father bails out, what does that tell you about God?
You have to consider the possibility that God doesn't like you. He hates you. This is not the worst thing that can happen. His hate is better that His indifference.
We are God's middle children, with no special place in history and no special attention.
Unless we get God's attention, we have no hope of damnation or redemption.
*sob!* You're right! You're so RIGHT! *cries*
Let it out, Ikea Boy...

 

by wildfire
12-21-01
So....
Yep...
Wait, now I remember!
Sigh...
*sex*uh*ah*uhh* *oh*sex*arf* *uh*oh*uhhhh.....*

 

by wildfire
12-21-01
Jesus is visited by the Ghost of Christmas Present
You know, Christmas isn't really my birthday...
The Feast of the Immaculate Conception is celebrated on December 8th.
So I was born sometime in August. December 25th was used at first as a disguise for the Christian holiday...
...and eventually as an easy point of conversion those that celebrated Saturnalia and Winter Solistace. And you're not listening to a word I say...
Uh-huh...
*sex*uh*ah*uhh* *oh*sex*arf* *uh*oh*uhhhh.....*

 

by wildfire
12-21-01
The Ghost of Christmas Present, feeling his work here is done, leaves...
Ikea Boy?
Later, Ikea Boy!
Hey!
This is the best cross a six year old can make for three cents an hour!

 

by wildfire
12-21-01
Jesus is visited by the Ghost of Christmas Future
Judas?
What? I mean, nooooo. I'm the Ghost of Christmas Future! Ooooooo.....
Ooooo.....
Dude, turn around.
No.

 

by wildfire
12-21-01
Jesus is visited by the Ghost of Christmas Future
Why are you the Ghost of Christmas Future?
Hey, do you know how much Brad Pitt cost to be in this thing?

 

by wildfire
12-21-01
Jesus is visited by the Ghost of Christmas Future
What was the point of all of this?
Point?
Wait, I remember!
Sigh...
Oh yeah....
*sex*uh*ah*uhh* *oh*sex*arf* *uh*oh*uhhhh.....*

 

by wildfire
12-21-01
Jesus is visited by the Ghost of Christmas Future
*sex*uh*ah*uhh* *oh*sex*arf* *uh*oh*uhhhh.....*
That's disgusting...
Don't knock it 'til you've tried it...
*sex*uh*ah*uhh* *oh*sex*arf* *uh*oh*uhhhh.....*

 

by wildfire
12-21-01
Jesus is visited by the Ghost of Christmas Future
So wait, the whole point of this all was to just watch two people doing it?
Well, isn't your faith in the season restored?
WHAT?!?! NO!
Well I know mine is...
Dude, that's not your faith...
Well, maybe not YOUR faith...

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