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| In the old days, people would brave the weather and chop me themselves. Later, they'd just buy me, pre-cut, from a lot. | |
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| When that was too much work, they went artificial: color-coded branches and holes, but you still had to put your own lights on. | |
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| OOOH - yeah, those really sucked ass. | |
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| NOW, I come in just a few pieces - sometimes just a whole tree - AND pre-lighted. I feel so...devalued. | |
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| All that fucking internet shopping makes me feel the same way. And I had to lay off half my elves and euthanize Dasher and Dancer this year. | |
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