All comics by zerospunk

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by zerospunk
6-19-01
I am an Asian schoolgirl.
I also, am an Asian schoolgirl.
Let us exclaim our dislike for a popular game, in the form of witty commentary.
Agreed.
So I says PLAYABLE?!? YOU SHOULD CALL IT UN-PLAYABLE.!!@!
RoFL

 

by zerospunk
6-19-01
You look very nice today.
Thank you.
New haircut?
No.
Then what?
I ate your dog.

 

by zerospunk
6-19-01
What would you do for a Klondike bar?
I do not know.
Would you wear a silly hat?
Perhaps.
Would you murder the president?
Sold.

 

by zerospunk
6-19-01
I had a hot date last night.
Please explain.
We met at his place, and we ended up having hot monkey love at the movies. It was really intense, but the cops ruined our fun.
What'd they do?
They took him back to the morgue.

 

by zerospunk
6-19-01
Let us discuss the meaning of life.
Very well.
I'm planning to stab you in your sleep.

 

by zerospunk
6-19-01
It's strange how some people react to nudity.
What do you mean?
Well, I was sunbathing, and this woman started freaking out.
What was her problem?
Exactly! She could have gotten off the bus if she wanted to.

 

by zerospunk
6-19-01
Oh jesus, I've tried to live my life as best as I could. But I must turn to you now for advice.
You could take the nails out of my wrists.
Please jesus, I need your guidance.
These nails aren't going to take themselves out kid.
Thanks alot jesus.
I wasn't kidding about those nails.

 

by zerospunk
6-19-01
Hey! Don't I know you from somewhere?

 

by zerospunk
6-19-01
I heard about your grandfather. Did he go without much pain?
That's horrible.
Actually, he was screaming.
Well, a girl's gotta eat.

 

by zerospunk
6-19-01
I made my first homemade pornography video last night.
You should be ashamed of yourself.
The horse didn't seem to mind.

 

by zerospunk
6-20-01
Let's kick it old school.
Word up.
I hate you.

 

by zerospunk
6-20-01
I met some nice people last week. They let me join in their meetings.
What do they do?
They plan for the coming of Roofus from the planet 4532 where we will all go to avoid the giant comet.
Another cult I see.
Pretty much.

 

by zerospunk
6-25-01
I am telepathically attempting to control your mind.
You will give in to my every desire. You are now my slave.
Damn.
I have a sudden urge for cake.

 

by zerospunk
6-25-01
I found a wallet by the bus stop yesterday. It was full of money, but I took to the police station and turned it in.
Wow. That's very noble and honorable.
Of course by "found" I mean I punched an old man in the face and took it from him...
...and by "turned it in" I mean I kept it.
Well you're only human.

 

by zerospunk
6-25-01
Your parents told me about your suicide attempt.
I don't want to talk about it.
I was wondering how you missed your face with the shotgun so close to you, but then I came to a conclusion.
That it was just a cry for help?
No. YOU'RE JUST A GIANT FAILURE.
Where's my aspirin bottle.

 

by zerospunk
6-25-01
Open Mic Night
So I say "Doctor, are you SURE that's what herpes looks like?"
I just flew in from a crucifixion and boy are my arms tired. Haha hah ha.
"I need you. I love you everyday. If it weren't for the court order, I wouldn't be 250 feet away."

 

by zerospunk
6-25-01
Return of open mic night:
I'M ALL 'BITCH DAT AINT MY BABY!'
So it turns out you really can't huff paint AND operate a crane.
Must...eat...babies....

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