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Who knows what fear lurks in the hearts of men? MIKE BOBSICO KNOWS! And if you give him a decent tip when he delivers your mail , he might tell you.

He: "Hurry up with my shirt or you'll get a poke in the ribs with this pipe."

She: "Oh yeah? Back off before I iron the wrinkles out of your SCROTUM."

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What others say about boorite!

Him: Hello my little sphincter-sniffer! Say didn't you used to have breasts? What did you do? Iron them away? HAHAHAHAHA

Her: Sure did stud-monkey. And the iron's still hot. Why don't you bend over and let me scorch that rat hole of yours?

Him: I thought you'd never ask!

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"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet

help, seriously, i cant breathe cuz of that line

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Who knows what fear lurks in the hearts of men? MIKE BOBSICO KNOWS! And if you give him a decent tip when he delivers your mail , he might tell you.

"Say, Madge! Let's send Billy off to bed early and fuck like grunting, sweaty, howling animals here on this ironing board!"

"Oh, Ted! You big silly!"

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I wanted my half in the middle and I wound up on the edge.

- Well, dear, maybe if you kept your GODDAMNED dick out of the secretary, I wouldn't need to have a lesbian relati...shh, the kids are coming.

- How's the hash, Mr. Bogart.

- Though "Father knows Best" was a phenomenal hit, little knew of Danny Thomas's let-it-all-hang-out attitude that prompted the director to institute a quite-ingenious pre-Austin Powers film technique.

- Did you get the insurance, dear? Good, good. Now drink your strontium bits and off to work with you.

- It was the idyllic 50s lifestyle. Except for 5pm daily, when Marge would rush into the kitchen, hold her hand on the hot iron, and scream as best she could through clenched teeth, "Oh ya, that's the shit."

- HAHA! Remember that time we killed the dictionay salesman?

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I ate a hooker half a bottle of knife.

quote:

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- It was the idyllic 50s lifestyle. Except for 5pm daily, when Marge would rush into the kitchen, hold her hand on the hot iron, and scream as best she could through clenched teeth, "Oh ya, that's the shit."

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-"Hey baby, wanna fuck on the kitchen table?" "No Fred, now go back home before I shove this iron in your face."

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Do you want ants? Because that's how you get ants.

He: "...and so then Manny says I oughtta use the 9-iron instead of the sand wedge, but I didn't wanna use the sand wedge 'cause I normally use an iron when I get a tough lie off the --"

She: "I didn't have a miscarriage - it was an abortion, asshole!"

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"And Wirthling isn't worth the paper he isn't printed on."

He: Honey, have you seen my pipe tobacco?

She: Why yes, I believe I shoved it up your ass.

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Mediocrity at its most average.

He: "What's for dinner, honey?"

She: "Repressed sexuality, acute xenophobia, superficial consumerism, denial, and meatloaf!"

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"And Wirthling isn't worth the paper he isn't printed on."

Obijo and wirthling, Captain Obvious has asked me to tell you that you are funny.

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"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet

"Guess what, Marge? I just read this article in a feminist publication that says that all of the trappings of this life I've provided for you are nothing but archaic symbols of repression, and that you should break free of these sexist chains, cast aspersions at my gender with impunity, and leave me and our children to find yourself as a person!"

"Ted!" *tsk* "Now how on earth am I going to finish the laundry and start dinner like THAT?"

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I wanted my half in the middle and I wound up on the edge.

Him: Say kitten, wanna hit?

Her: Sure Bogart. Pass it on. How do you like the Zig-Zag man decall I just put on your workshirt?

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"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet

quote:

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"Guess what, Marge? I just read this article in a feminist publication that says that all of the trappings of this life I've provided for you are nothing but archaic symbols of repression, and that you should break free of these sexist chains, cast aspersions at my gender with impunity, and leave me and our children to find yourself as a person!"

"Ted!" *tsk* "Now how on earth am I going to finish the laundry and start dinner like THAT?"

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Gadzooks, but that was clever! I had to scroll back up to get it, too!

(Yeesh, but what kind of word is "gadzooks" anyway?)

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This is not my empire.

Now that's my kind of compliment.

Yiddish.

It was the picture. That picture was just BEGGING for captions.

Speaking of which, Spank, wasn't it you who had all those kick ass old school medical pictures? Back in June you were gonna make them available for download, right? Are they still?

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I ate a hooker half a bottle of knife.

quote:

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Yiddish.

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Gadzooks means, and I'm using a literal translation here, "Holy mother of pearl! That guy believes every word of the Bible! Let's get the hell out of here!"

Further proof that life is stranger than fiction, here's what I found when I looked it up on dictionary.com:

Perhaps alteration of God's hooks, the nails of the crucifixion of Christ.

So I guess it really was Yiddish. Hell, and I was just fucking around.

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I ate a hooker half a bottle of knife.

- "...and then I said, "Well, Elder Brown, I really don't give a flying fuck about your pamphlets!" and a shoved the iron right up his arse!"

- "Now honey, you know we can't have sex. Neither of us have genitals, remember?"

- "Okay, not imagine this iron is my vagine. See that pointy bit? The clitoris is up there, GOT IT???"

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By the way, I think gadzooks is Middle English, like all those other blasphemous euphemisms of the period, like odd's fish for "God's flesh", strewth or struth for "God's truth", etc.

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This signature has performed an illegal operation and has been shut down.

My apologies for my rampant typos... :P

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This signature has performed an illegal operation and has been shut down.

None of your lip, mister.

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I ate a hooker half a bottle of knife.

--Nature's uncontrollable fury.

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What others say about boorite!

DexX hands ObiJo a big bucket full of lips.

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This signature has performed an illegal operation and has been shut down.