Thought this would be a good spot to start a chat about classic lyrics. Please post the lyrics of any songs you think have particularly good lyrics. I'll kick it off with one written by Tim Freedman, front man of Australian alternative rock band The Whitlams, and (in my humble opinion) Australia foremost musical poet. It's also a great song, off one of the best albums ever recorded in Australia - Eternal Nightcap. I highly recommend downloading this song for a sampling, and buying the album if you like it...

No Aphrodisiac
Freedman/Dormand/Ford

A letter to you on a cassette, cause we don't write any more.
Gotta make it up quickly - there's people asleep on the second floor.

There's no aphrodisiac like loneliness,
Truth, beauty and a picture of you.

You'll be walking your dog in a few hours.
I'll be asleep in my brother's house.
You're a thousand miles away, with food between your teeth.

Come up for the summer- I've got a place near the beach.
There's room for your dog.

There's no aphrodisiac like loneliness,
Truth, beauty and a picture of you.
There's no aphrodisiac like loneliness,
Youth, truth, beauty, fame, boredom, and a bottle of pills.

There's no aphrodisiac like loneliness.
You shouldn't leave me alone.
There's no aphrodisiac like loneliness,
Bare feet like a tomboy, and a crooked smile,
Truth, youth, beauty, fame, boredom, red hair, no hair, innocence, Saturday, and a picture of you.

A letter to you on a cassette,
No, you shouldn't leave me alone.

Forty, shaved, sexy, wants to do it all day,
With a gun-toting trigger-happy trannie named Kinky Renee.
Tired teacher, twenty-eight, seeks regular meetings, for masculine, muscular, napply-clad, brutal breeding,
While his wife rough-wrestles with a puppy all a-quiver on a wine-soaked, strobe-lit, Asiatic hall of mirrors,
And a dash of loneliness.

There's no aphrodisiac quite like it.

Truth, youth, beauty, fame, boredom, red hair, no hair, innocence, impunity, and a picture of you.

I got a video setup, me love you short-time.
She pay me suck his finger with some fine wine,
And a dash of loneliness.

Truth, youth, beauty, fame, boredom, red hair, no hair, innocence, awkwardness, impunity, and a picture of you.

---
This signature has performed an illegal operation and has been shut down.

Why Don't We Do It in the Road?
McCartney

Why don't we do it in the road?
No one will be watching us
Why don't we do it in the road?

---
"And Wirthling isn't worth the paper he isn't printed on."

Sometimes In Winter (Steve Katz)

Sometimes in Winter
I gaze into the streets
and walk through snow and city sleet
behind your room

Sometimes in Winter
forgotten memories
remember you behind the trees
with leaves that cried

By the window once I waited for you
laughing slightly you would run
trees alone would shield us in the meadow
makin' love in the evening sun

Now you're gone girl
and the lamp posts call your name
I can hear, them
in the spring of frozen rain
now you're gone girl
and the time's slowed down till dawn
It's a cold room and the walls ask
where you've gone

Sometimes In Winter
I love you when the good times
seem like mem'ries in the spring
that never came

Sometimes In Winter
I wish the empty streets
Would fill with laughter from the tears
that ease my pain

How Come My Dog Don't Bark when You Come Around
[i]traditional New Orleans song
as sung by Dr. John[/i]

So you say you never met my wife
You ain't never seen her before.
You say you ain't been hangin' round my crib;
Well here's somethin' I wanna know.

I wanna know what in the world is going down...
How come my dog don't bark when YOU come around?

I got the baddest dog. He'll bite anybody.
He bit my little brother,
Took a chunk out of my old sweet little mother
He bit the mailman, he sees him EVERY day.
He takes one look at you, he wanna jump up and play.

Now I ain't got a clue as to what you puttin' down, but
How come my dog don't bark when YOU come around?

My dog is dangerous. Try to set people straight.
I even bought a "bad dog" sign & hung it on the gate.
Now here you come trippin' about a quarter to nine,
Full of that Night Train wine,
Trying to slide past the sign.
My dog's layin', noddin' off, ain't payin' you NO mind.

That's MY DOG & when I come home he don't sleep that sound.
How come my dog don't bark when YOU come around?

I still don't like it, I don't dig it one damn bit.
The way you and my dog're so tight; somethin' don't fit.
Now I slipped through the alley. I called my dog.
I said, "Get up off your rusty-dusty!
Move a little faster to your old master,
You ol' cayoodle you!"
He took one look at me, he growled and he ran straight to you.

Now, somebody's been confusing my poor hound,
And I wanna know what's going down.
How come my dog don't bark when YOU come around?

Maybe I'd better call up Jacoby & Meyers
You can take the Fifth -- Ammendment that is.
You'd better stand up for your rights
'Cause you might not be standin' too long.
I'm gonna stop all this confusion.
I'm gonna fire that hound,
Shoot that dog down.
Then I'm gonna get busy mutilatin', strangulatin', operatin', and crematin' my ol' lady
Down at the cremation station.
Then I'm gonna toss that, too
And then come right on after you.
Now you can give your heart & soul to charity,
'Cause all the rest gonna belong to me.
I'm goin' straight down to that barber supply shop,
Get me a pearl-handled, double edged, hollow-ground, super blue-blade, adjustable, stainless steel, honed edge, both edge on the same side,
So when I cut you once, you gonna bleed twice
Going and coming.
And if you don't believe me, shake your head.
It'll be singing "I Ain't Got No Body."
'Cause one night I did a little FBI, 007-type investigating.
You and my ol' lady thought I was gone,
But I wasn't gone.
That's why I've got to separate you from your crown.
And the only sound you're gonna hear when you six feet in the ground...
{barking}

How come my dog didn't bark when YOU came around?

---
"Old" is the old new.

Please Call Me, Baby
Tom Waites

The evening fell just like a star
Left a trail behind
You spit as you slammed out the door
If this is love we're crazy
As we fight like cats and dogs
But I just know there's got to be more

(Chorus)
So please call me, baby
Wherever you are
It's too cold to be out walking in the streets
We do crazy things when we're wounded
Everyone's a bit insane
I don't want you catching your death of cold
Out walking in the rain

I admit that I ain't no angel
I admit that I ain't no saint
I'm selfish and I'm cruel and I'm blind
If I exorcise my devils
Well my angels may leave too
When they leave they're so hard to find

(Chorus)

We're always at each other's throats
It drives me up the wall
Most of the time I'm just blowing off steam
And I wish to God you'd leave me
And I wish to God you'd stay
Life's so different than it is in your dreams

(Chorus)

Drunk on the Moon
Tom again

Tight-slacked clad girls on the graveyard shift
'Neath the cement stroll
Catch the midnight drift
Cigar chewing charlie
In that newspaper nest
grifting hot horse tips
On who's running the best

And I'm blinded by the neon
Don't try and change my tune
'Cause I thought I heard a saxophone
I'm drunk on the moon

And the moon's a silver slipper
It's pouring champagne stars
Broadway's like a serpent
Pulling shiny top-down cars
Laramer is teeming
With that undulating beat
And some Bonneville is screaming
It's way wilder down the street

(Chorus)

Hearts flutter and race
The moon's on the wane
Tarts mutter their dream hopes
The night will ordain
Come schemers and dancers
Cherry delight
As a Cleveland-bound Greyhound
And it cuts throught the night

And I've hawked all my yesterdays
Don't try and change my tune
'Cause I thought I heard a saxophone
I'm drunk on the moon

---
"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet

He's So Gay
Frank Zappa

ENSEMBLE: (singing)
He's so gay
He's so gay
He's very very gay
He's so gay
He's so gay
And he likes to be that way
With his keys all on the right
He's into rubber every night
He's so gay
He's so gay
He's ALMOST EVERYONE TODAY

He's okay
He's okay
He's got a role he wants to play
He's okay
He's okay
He's just a cowboy for a day

Of course, his evening's not complete
Without some meat in the seat;
Let's skate away
Down Santa Monica today

Maybe he wants a little spanking
Maybe he'll eat a little chain
Maybe his lover should be thanking him
For the way he makes it sprinkle
Into drops of GOLDEN RAIN

He's so gay
He's so gay
He rules the city in a way
You could say
You could say
It's sorta different today
All the taffeta and chintz
And every Leather Boy's a PRINCE
Hey hey hey!
Please don't look the other way

You could be just like him
TOMORROW!
Maybe you'll get a chance
To borrow
(Borrow)
His bouquet
And maybe later...MAYBE LATER
We'll ALL BE
GAY-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y!
DO YOU REALLY WANNA HURT ME?

I think we all want a little Spankling.

---
I am not 16 going on not 17, I know that I'm naive.

Oh Abraham
John Gorka

I see a penny and I pick it up
If not the money I could use the luck
And if it's face down then I turn it over
Head for Wood Avenue between Inman and New Dover
Back to my hometown...

Gas is cheaper where I'm from
But the driving's not so good
People go and stay where they should not
And they don't do it like I would
Work is not the same as before
More software hands in the hardware store yeah, yeah

Oh, Abraham, look at all the money now
Oh, Abraham, good night
It's your party but I'll cry if I want to
I wouldn't care how much they have if they would only do what's right

I was born by a Kerouac stream
Under Eisenhower skies
They saw freedom as a big idea
Now it was right before my eyes
They said Jack helped to build the Pentagon
And Ike built the interstate that we are off and on

Oh, Abraham, was it all about the money then?
Oh, Abraham, good night
It's your party but I'll cry if I want to
All moneyed up and charmed with might, so we are right, we're always right

We're right, they're wrong, let them get their own song (twice)

I see a penny and I pick it up
Ninety nine more and I'll have a buck
Abe, you were born in old Kentuck'
But we still miss you here

Jungleland
Bruce Springsteen

The Rangers had a homecoming
In Harlem late last night
And the Magic Rat drove his sleek machine
Over the Jersey state line
Barefoot girl sitting on the hood of a Dodge
Drinking warm beer in the soft summer rain
The Rat pulls into town rolls up his pants
Together they take a stab at romance
And disappear down Flamingo Lane

Well the Maximum Lawmen run down Flamingo
Chasing the Rat and the barefoot girl
And the kids round here look just like shadows
Always quiet, holding hands
From the churches to the jails
Tonight all is silence in the world
As we take our stand
Down in Jungleland

The midnight gang’s assembled
And picked a rendezvous for the night
They’ll meet ’neath that giant Exxon sign
That brings this fair city light
Man there’s an opera out on the Turnpike
There’s a ballet being fought out in the alley
Until the local cops
Cherry Tops

Rips this holy night
The street’s alive
As secret debts are paid
Contacts made, they vanish unseen
Kids flash guitars just like switch-blades
Hustling for the record machine
The hungry and the hunted
Explode into rock’n’roll bands
That face off against each other out in the street
Down in Jungleland

In the parking lot the visionaries
Dress in the latest rage
Inside the backstreet girls are dancing
To the records that the DJ plays
Lonely-hearted lovers
Struggle in dark corners
Desperate as the night moves on
Just one look
And a whisper, and they’re gone

Beneath the city two hearts beat
Soul engines running through a night so tender
In a bedroom locked
In whispers of soft refusal
And then surrender
In the tunnels uptown
The Rat’s own dream guns him down
As shots echo down them hallways in the night
No one watches when the ambulance pulls away
Or as the girl shuts out the bedroom light

Outside the street’s on fire
In a real death waltz
Between what’s flesh and what’s fantasy
And the poets down here
Don’t write nothing at all
They just stand back and let it all be
And in the quick of the night
They reach for their moment
And try to make an honest stand
But they wind up wounded
Not even dead
Tonight in Jungleland

Gilligan's Island
Sherwood Schwartz & George Wyle

Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale, a tale of a fateful trip
That started from this tropic port, aboard this tiny Ship.
The mate was a mighty sailin' man, the Skipper brave and sure,
Five passengers set sail that day for a three hour tour.
A three hour tour.
The weather started getting rough, the tiny ship was tossed.
If not for the courage of the fearless crew, the Minnow would be lost.
The Minnow would be lost.
The ship set ground on the shore of this uncharted desert isle
With Gilligan, the Skipper too, a Millionaire and his wife,
A movie star, the Professor and Mary Ann, here on Gilligan's Isle.

---
...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

"Say I" Creed

The dust has finally settled on the field of human clay
Just enough light has shown through
To tell the night from the day
We are incomplete and hollow
For our maker has gone away
Who is to blame?
We'll surely melt in the rain
Say I
The stillness is so lifeless with no spirit in your soul
Like children with no vision do exactly what they're told
Being led into the desert
For your strength will surely fade
Who is to blame?
We'll surely melt in the rain
Say I
Frantic, faction, focus
The world breathes
And out forms this misconception we call man
But I don't know him
No, I don't know him
Because he lies Say I

They Might Be Giants are known for being, well, silly... but, generally, their lyrics are not the gibberish they first appear to be (there are some exceptions, of course). In fact, one of the Johns (maybe both) has/have gone through some serious heartbreak. They have written some of the most profound lyrics about really bad, unhealthy relationships that I have ever heard...

Narrow Your Eyes
by They Might Be Giants

I don't want to change your mind, I don't want to think about your mind.
They say love is blind - I don't think you're blind.

You don't want to understand, I don't want to shake your father's hand,
And walk in the sand and act like a man.

I get on the bus and ride past our stop
And though I'm late, I can't get off.
I just can't bear to tell you some lies
And narrow your eyes.

We'll take back everything we said,
Split up all the things and move ahead.
Forgot how you said you'd split the side off the bed.

I get on my bike and ride down our block,
Ride down our block, through the green lights,
But when I think of all your advice
I narrow my eyes.

I don't want to change your mind, I don't want to think about your mind.
They say love is blind - I don't think you're blind.

I get on the bus and ride past our stop
And though I'm late, I can't get off.
I just can't bear to tell you some lies
And narrow your eyes.

Now let's toast the sad cold fact,
Our love's never coming back,
And we'll race to the bottom of a glass
And narrow your eyes.

---
This signature has performed an illegal operation and has been shut down.

Sir Mix-a-lot has also written some majorly profound lyrics:

Baby Got Back
Sir Mix-a-lot

I like big butts and I cannot lie
You other brothers can't deny
That when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist
And a round thing in your face
You get sprung
Wanna pull up the tongue
Cuz you notice that butt was stuffed
Deep in the jeans she's wearing
I'm hooked and I can't stop staring
Oh, baby I wanna get with ya
And take your picture
My homeboys tried to warn me
But with that butt you got
Me so horny
Ooh, rub all of that smooth skin
You say you wanna get in my Benz
Well use me, use me cuz you ain't that average groupy

I've seen them dancin'
The hell with romancin'
She sweat, wet, got it goin' like a turbo 'Vette

I'm tired of magazines
saying flat butt's the only thing
Take the average black man and ask him that
She gotta pack much back, so...

Fellas (yeah), fellas (yeah)
Has your girlfriend got the butt (hell yeah)
Well shake it, shake it, shake it, shake it, shake that healthy butt
Baby got back

(LA face with Oakland booty)

I like'em round and big
And when I'm throwin' a gig
I just can't help myself
I'm actin like an animal
Now here's my scandal

I wanna get you home
And ugh, double ugh, ugh
I ain't talkin' bout Playboy
Cuz silicone parts were made for toys
I wannem real thick and juicy
So find that juicy double
Mixalot's in trouble
Beggin' for a piece of that bubble
So I'm lookin' at rock videos
Watchin' these bimbos walkin' like hoes
You can have them bimbos
I'll keep my women like Flo Jo
A word to the thick soul sistas
I wanna get with ya
I won't cus or hit ya
But I gotta be straight when I say I wanna fuck
Til the break of dawn
Baby, I got it goin on
A lot of pimps won't like this song
Cuz them punks like to hit it and quit it
But I'd rather stay and play
Cuz I'm long and I'm strong
And I'm down to get the friction on

So ladies (yeah), ladies (yeah)
If you wanna role in my Mercedes (yeah)
Then turn around
Stick it out
Even white boys got to shout
Baby got back

(LA face with the Oakland booty)

Yeah baby
When it comes to females
Cosmo and got nothin to do with my selection
36-24-36
Only if she's 5'3"

So your girlfriend rolls a Honda
Playin' workout tapes by Fonda
But Fonda ain't got a motor in the back of her Honda
My anaconda don't want none unless you've got buns hon
You can do side bends or sit-ups, but please don't lose that butt
Some brothers wanna play that hard role
and tell you that the butt need to go
So they toss it and leave it
And I pull up quick to retrieve it
So Cosmo says you're fat
Well I ain't down with that
Cuz your waste is small and your curves are kickin'
And I'm thinkin' bout stickin'
To the beanpole dames in the magazines
You ain't it Miss Thang
Give me a sista I can't resist her
Red beans and rice didn't miss her
Some knucklehead tried to dis
Cuz his girls were on my list
He had game but he chose to hit 'em
And pulled up quick to get with 'em
So ladies if the butt is round
And you wanna triple X throw down
Dial 1-900-mixalot and kick them nasty thoughts
Baby got back

In something awful's yesterday, someone said they were listening to a song called

"Gay Butt Pirates are Ashore".

Isn't that from the Disneyworld show "Butt Pirates of the Carribbean?"

---
...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

Oh yeah now I remember that ride. The pirates must have gotten tired of just attacking the same old robotic women and looting the fake sets, so they started raping the tourists and invading Florida, right?
I like Slice Mountian better, where you can put your hands up and lose your arms!

That should be something awful's irc.

How could I forget this classic...

Eat Steak
Reverend Horton Heat

Eat steak, eat steak,
Eat a big ol' steer,
Eat steak, eat steak,
Do we have one here?
Eat beef, eat beef,
It's a mighty good food.
It's a grade-A meal
When I'm in the mooood.

Cowpokes are comin' from near and far
When you throw a few ribeyes on the fire.
Roberto Duran et two before a fight
'Cause it gives the mighty men all a lot of mighty might.

Eat steak, eat steak,
Eat a big ol' steer,
Eat steak, eat steak,
Do we have one here?
Eat beef, eat beef,
It's a mighty good food.
It's a grade-A meal
When I'm in the mooood.

Eat meat, eat meat, filet minon!
Eat meat, eat meat, eat it all day long.
Eat a few t-bones 'til you get your fill,
Eat a New York cut, hot off the grill.

Eat steak, eat steak,
Eat a big ol' steer,
Eat steak, eat steak,
Do we have one here?
Eat beef, eat beef,
It's a mighty good food.
It's a grade-A meal
When I'm in the mooood.

Eat a cow, eat a cow 'cause it's good for you,
Eat a cow, eat a cow. That's the thing that goes...

...MOO

Look at all the cows in the slaughterhouse yard!
Gotta hit 'em in the head; gotta hit 'em real hard.
First you gotta clean 'em then the butcher cuts 'em up,
Throws it on a scale, puts an eyebal in a cup.

I saw a big brama steer standing right over there,
So I rustled up a fire, cooked him medium rare.
Barbequed his brisket, and roasted his rump,
And fed my dog with the brama steers hump.

Eat steak, eat steak,
Eat a big ol' steer,
Eat steak, eat steak,
Do we have one here?
Eat beef, eat beef,
It's a mighty good food.
It's a grade-A meal
When I'm in the mooood.

---
"Old" is the old new.

There\'s a fat man in the bathtub with the blues.
I hear ya moan. I hear ya moan. I hear ya moan.

---
"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet

Artist: At the drive-in

"Ticklish"

pigeon holed decision making
all my mind's made up
i only colored outside the lines
'cause i got the knack
stenciled teen initials
that were carved on the roof of my mouth
only to bark the words of so-and-so
fuck so-and-so...

i been dancing in the bathroom stalls
excreting words just for this song
i'm kicking in windows
and it don't make music to me

"please get some medication
simple. it's simple...
we must die with dignity."

pallbearer we are and all that
we never get and all my little pushes
fall on your
deaf
ears

kicking in these windows
kicking in these windows
it's on the roof of my mouth
i'm gonna bark the words
on the roof of my mouth

tickling with contusions
paper bag masks hiding infantile music
no pictures, just words
are you afraid of our books?
illiterate cells for the valley of mules

---
Charlie dont surf

I forgot to mention 2 things btw.

1.) The music (tune type thing) is kickin too.

2.) The lyrics actually mean something if you think about them (i do believe the song is about deliberately not being part of the "cool school crowd" cause they are wankers).

If any of you bother to download it make sure you kinda know the lyrics before you listen to it cause otherwise the singing might just sound like shouting. As soon as you know what they are saying tho it rocks.

---
Charlie dont surf

The Rhythm of the Heat
Peter Gabriel

Looking out the window
I see the red dust clear
High up on the red rock
Stands the shadow with the spear

The land here is strong
Strong beneath my feet
it feeds on the blood
it feeds on the heat

The rhythm is below me
The rhythm of the heat
The rhythm is around me
The rhythm has control
The rhythm is inside me
The rhythm has my soul

Drawn across the plainland
To the place that is higher
Drawn into the circle
That dances round the fire
We spit into out hands
And breathe across the palms
Raising them up high
Help open to the sun

Self-conscious, uncertain
I'm showered with the dust
The spirit enter into me
And I submit to trust

Smash the radio
(No outside voices here)
Smash the watch
(Cannot tear the day to shreds)
Smash the camera
(Cannot steal away the spirits)
The rhythm is around me
The rhythm has control
The rhythm is inside me
The rhythm has my soul

---
This signature has performed an illegal operation and has been shut down.

Limp Bizkit Think They're Black, But They're Just Gay
Anal Cunt

Fred Durst is a fucking faggot
He thinks he's black, but he's just gay
He cancelled a show cuz he sprained his ankle
He's also a fucking midget

(Chorus:)
You're not fucking black, you're just fucking gay (x2)
You're fucking gay

The guitarist wears a mask
To hide the cum stains on his face
They're the gayest band I've ever seen
And I've seen the Culture Club live

(Chorus)

Fred wears a hat to hide his baldness
I refuse to believe blacks think he's cool
I wish he'd beaten and raped by some black guy
And see if he still wants to be black

All Our Fans Are Gay
Anal Cunt
Why do you think we throw stuff at you?

You own all our cd's- you're gay, you're gay
You own all our 7"s- you're gay, you're gay
You bought all our t-shirts- you're gay, you're gay
You go to all our shows- you're gay, you're gay

(Chorus:) All our fans are gay (x4)

You think you know what we are singing about- you're wrong
You think we care about the underground- you're wrong
You think we won't fuck up your club- you're wrong
You think we care if you like us- you're wrong

(Chorus)

If we're nice to you, it's because we're broke
Or unless you got some drugs to smoke
When the drugs are gone, then we are too
Then we'll go back to making fun of you

Really tugs at the old heartstrings. I'd post the lyrics to their classic "The Word Homophobic Is Gay", but they're a bit offensive.

Aussie indy rockers Frenzal Rhomb are one of the few bands I have ever heard whose constant swearing doesn't seem try-hard. It just kind of works, for some reason...

You Can't Move Into My House (Get Fucked You Fucking Fuckwit)
Frenzal Rhomb

Hope you don't think I'm rude
Fuck You
Hope you don't think I'm precious
Fuck You
Hope you see I'm well adjusted:
I can't stand the sight of you

I don't wanna be startin somethin
I don't want to antagonise,
All I said was something simple:
I can't stand the sight of you,
I can't stand the sight of you.

Don't believe, don't believe the words
I don't believe all the things I've heard about you.
I will be saying this in your defence:
I'd rather eat a fridge full of arses than know you.
And I've tried with all my might to see past all your failings,
But I've failed to give a fuck.

You're a fuck-up, you're a joke,
You're a clown, take your pants down,
Get fucked you fucking fuckwit
no you can't move into my house.

With a range of ethics that are quite perverse
You're sitting in the centre of your own universe.
Not content to sit upon the fence,
You'll fall either way ignoring common sense.
I look into your eyes and seen a haze
Of your twisted sensibilities,
And little saving grace.

You're a fuck-up, you're a joke,
You're a clown, take your pants down,
Get fucked you fucking fuckwit
no you can't move into my house.

I believe, I believe the words of your best friend
When he likened you to a steaming turd,
And when he said he wished that you were dead,
It was the most intelligent thing that anyone's ever said.
And I've tried with all my might to see past all your failings,
But I failed to give a fuck.

You're a fuck-up, you're a joke,
You're a clown, take your pants down,
Get fucked you fucking fuckwit
no you can't move into my house.

All Your Friends (Think You're a Fuckhead)
Frenzal Rhomb

Kicking and fighting that's what you know,
The way you're treated only goes to show.
That your popularity is all in your head, it's in your head.

No-one came round to your house today,
The phone doesn't ring, you think that's okay.
It must be the weather or they had to go and visit their grandmothers instead.

All your friends think you're a fuckhead.
All your friends think you're shit.
All your friends think you're a fuckhead.
All your friends think you're shit.

A good paranoia is what you lack,
Your friends always talking behind your back.
Of course it has nothing to do with the simple fact
That nothing you say is of any worth.
There's always a challenge to see who leaves first.
Someone should tell you but we're all way too afraid to say

That all your friends think you're a fuckhead.
All your friends think you're shit.
All your friends think you're a fuckhead.
All your friends think you're shite,
And they're right.

You thought that they were friends that you would never lose.
Why, you're so charismatic when you're on the booze.
Sometimes your friends behaviour is so difficult to excuse.

To pay your bills on time well that wouldn't do.
You don't take your library books 'till they're overdue.
It's the only way that you will ever get
a letter to come to you.

Cause all your friends think you're a fuckhead.
All your friends think you're shit.
All your friends think you're a fuckhead.
All your friends think you're shite,
And they're right.

---
This signature has performed an illegal operation and has been shut down.

Melbourne trio Tripod are famous for their comedy, but earlier in their careers they interspersed some serious numbers amongst the funny ones. This is one of those...

Meteor
[i]written by Steven "Gatesy" Gates
performed by Tripod[/i]

1994
We were narrowly missed by a great big meteor.
Didn't really make front page news.
We all too busy cooking crumpets
And wearing out shoes.

So my mind starts thinking about the possibilities.
What's a cloudy blue rock in relation to a galaxy?
Like a snail on a footpath,
You haven't got a chance.
If you're in the way, you're in the way.
All you can do is check your pants,
Or you sing about it.

Meteor
Meteor
What a mighty big slap in the face.
Are you sure?
Meteor
'Cause you know we're rather fond of this place?

Everybody wants to change the world.
Gets to the stage where the spiritual age has the questions answered.
Find another energy source,
Or maybe live under the sea.
Become one planet celebrating humanity.
You wouldn't read about it.

Meteor
Meteor
What a mighty big slap in the face.
Are you sure?
Meteor
'Cause you know we're rather fond of this place?

So many thing I haven't done,
("Hello." "Hello.")
Ears ring, procrastination.
("How are you?" "Not bad, yourself?")
I see the sky light up,
("How about this weather?" "It's something else.")
A beautiful reverberation.
("Well, I guess I'll see you tomorrow, hey?")
Look toward my circle of loved ones, see a defeated face.
Close our eyes and hold our breath and realise we're fond of this place.

Meteor
Meteor
What a mighty big slap in the face.
Are you sure?
Meteor
Don't you know we're rather fond of this place?

This place...
This place...

---
This signature has performed an illegal operation and has been shut down.

Oh, Tripod now do only comedy, but this one is a classic funny one from their early years. It is something of an anthem, and I think many here will be able to identify with it very, very well...

A Shandy Too Far
[i]written by Scott "Scod" Edgar
performed by Tripod[/i]

Table for one,
Preferably out of the sun,
Somewhere where it's quiet...
And a coffee too,
Better make it black right through.
I'm feeling fairly shite.
I don't think I have enough class
To handle drinking from a glass.
Just get me water in a plastic cup.

I went a shandy too far.
I woke up in the bed of someone who
I just never thought I'd do.
I went a shandy too far.
I wonder where I left my car.
A shandy too far.

Comfortable bed,
Shame about the pain in my head.
Where'd I leave my shoes?
(Well, they're just over there...)
Well, they're over there.
(Over there...)
Underneath my underwear.
...and where'd I get this bruise?
I can hear her come down the hall
And bang her head against the wall
And wish she didn't have appalling luck,

Because she went a shandy too far.
I woke up in the bed of someone who
I just never thought I'd do.
I went a shandy too far.
I wonder where I left my car.
A shandy too far.

Take my advice in a crisis,
Catch a taxi, catch a bus,
But if there's one thing you should never do
It's trust yourself,
Cause there's a caveman inside,
Brain'd just coming along for the ride.
You'd think I'd learn.
I don't know at all
When it would be safe to call.
We used to be quite friendly,
But this could be the endly,

Cause we went a shandy too far.
I woke up in the bed of someone who
I just never thought I'd do.
I went a shandy too far.
I wonder where I left my car.
A shandy too far.

---
This signature has performed an illegal operation and has been shut down.

Mirror Mirror - Blind Guardian

Far, far beyond the island
We dwelt in shades of twilight
Through dread and weary days
Through grief and endless pain

It lies unknown
The land of mine
A hidden gate
To save us from the shadow fall
The lord of water spoke
In the silence
Words of wisdom
I've seen the end of all
Be aware the storm gets closer

chorus (1):
Mirror Mirror on the wall
True hope lies beyond the coast
You're a damned kind can't you see
That the winds will change
Mirror Mirror on the wall
True hope lies beyond the coast
You're a damned kind can't you see
That tomorrows bears insanity

Gone's the wisdom
Of a thousand years
A world in fire and chains and fear
Leads me to a place so far
Deep down it lies my secret vision
I better keep it safe

Shall I leave my friends alone
Hidden in my twilight hall
(I) know the world is lost in fire
Sure there is no way to turn it
Back to the old days
Of bliss and cheerful laughter
We're lost in barren lands
Caught in the running flames
Alone
How shall we leave the lost road
Time's getting short so follow me
A leader's task so clearly
To find a path out of the dark

chorus (2):
Mirror Mirror on the wall
True hope lies beyond the coast
You're a damned kind can't you see
That the winds will change
Mirror Mirror on the wall
True hope lies beyond the coast
You're a damned kind can't you see
That the winds will change

Even though
The storm calmed down
The bitter end
Is just a matter of time

Shall we dare the dragon
Merciless he's poisoning our hearts
Our hearts

How shall we leave the lost road
Time's getting short so follow me
A leader's task so clearly
To find a path out of the dark

Chorus 2

---
Do you want ants? Because that's how you get ants.

Spread Your Wings - Queen
(Covered by Blind Guardian)

Sammy was low
Just watching the show
Over and over again
Knew it was time
He'd made up his mind
To leave his dead life behind
His boss said to him
"Boy you'd better begin
To get those crazy notions right out of your head
Sammy who do you think that you are ?
You should've been sweeping up the Emerald bar"

Spread your wings and fly away
Fly away, far away
Spread your little wings and fly away
Fly away, far away
Pull yourself together
'Cos you know you should do better
That's because you're a free man

He spends his evenings alone in his hotel room
Keeping his thoughts to himself, he'd be leaving soon
Wishing he was miles and miles away
Nothing in this world, nothing would make him stay

Since he was small
Had no luck at all
Nothing came easy to him
Now it was time
He'd made up his mind
"This could be my last chance"
His boss said to him
"Now listen boy!
You're always dreaming
You've got no real ambition, you won't get very far
Sammy boy, don't you know who you are ?
Why can't you be happy at the Emerald bar ?"

So honey

Spread your wings and fly away
Fly away, far away
Spread your little wings and fly away
Fly away, far away
Pull yourself together
'Cos you know you should do better
That's because you're a free man

C'mon honey
Fly with me

-----------------------

I remember going to the coast and listening to this, again and again, staring at the ocean...

---
Do you want ants? Because that's how you get ants.