I've just finished reading Lara7's entire series about her life. I laughed, I cried, I grabbed my balls and spit....

The bittersweet note it ended on led me to one simple conclusion:

Lara7 should marry me.

Here's why:

10: I already live in Ohio, and since we both know that we're going to spend the rest of our lives in Ohio, we won't have to move to maintain our relationship. We can just sit in Ohio and be resigned to that.

09: Not only am I also alone and unloved, but I don't even have any cats. My roomie has two, though, and they could hang out. Do cat stuff. It'd rock.

08: We've actually met. No embarrassing mail-order-bride/groom type meetings where you discover your spouse-to-be's superfluous limb on the way to the chapel.

07: She digs older guys. I'm 45. I also was a "bright kid" who was better read than most of my college educated elders by the time I was 12, and have done fuck all with my abilities. We could share our regrets.

06: We're both attractive people. I mean, for 45, I'm hanging pretty tough, you know? (Stop laughing.) If we decide to reproduce, NO UGLY KIDS.

05: I've got a new Dolby 5.1 DTS Home Theatre rig, baby. And a pIII with 1.5 GB RAM. *wink**wink*

04: I recently painted my piece-of-shit '87 Cavalier with black spots over white so that it looks like a cow. Or at least a Gateway box. We both have art cars.

03: I am also a musician. Why buck a trend?

02: She's already slept in my bed, and I actually blew her. Plus, I think I actually remember that I liked her.

01: I'm employed. No more Ramen noodles.

There you have it.

I'll be at the local when you come to your senses, honey.

Love,

bunner

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I wanted my half in the middle and I wound up on the edge.

I'm just sad that I blew my chance when I was this "Mark" fellow.

I'm all for it, bunner. Make sure you schedule the wedding for the end of January so I can come out for that and the sci-fi marathon on the same trip!

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I am a delicate fucking flower. https://beacons.ai/jesskent

I'll do your wedding flowers.

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“It is only with the heart that one sees rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.” - The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry (1945)

...and lara can be her own wedding minister!

I'll draw a cake for you. It will look delicious.

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This signature has performed an illegal operation and has been shut down.

Did I miss her move back to Ohio? I thought she was living in Tacoma, WA. I gotta read these contests more carefully, even if I don't have time to enter.

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"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet

Nobody leaves Ohio alive. As an Ohioan, she knows this. She'll be back, it's just a matter of time. And we can feed each other grapes and read books and snuggle up to the hair dryer at night. :- )

(Actually, I've got central heating now, Honey... Don't worry.)

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I wanted my half in the middle and I wound up on the edge.

You da man, bunn.

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"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet

>>>Did I miss her move back to Ohio? I thought she was living in Tacoma, WA.

Yep, I'm still out west in the "City of Destiny", or as I like to call it "The City of Density".

>>Nobody leaves Ohio alive. As an Ohioan, she knows this. She'll be back, it's just a matter of time.

Ah, but the fatal flaw in your plan is that since I'm not a native Ohioan, I can check out any time I like. I'll be back to visit at some point, but not to stay.

I'm flattered by the attention. However, it's my ethical duty to warn you that my current interest is in fact, a postal worker. Dunno if he's the jealous type, but you can never be too careful...

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When they invent BookFace, I'm -there-.

I have told Lara many times that there are no men for her but me. It has never been true, but I like to say it, even though we've both dated roughly 340 other people without getting jealous. So I'll say it again: Lara is mine, and if any of you touch her, we'll have to go for beers and a movie. You've been warned.

As for Ohio, I have actually spoken fondly of it in recent days. Living a few blocks from DC will do that to you. But I can't go back. Maybe native Ohioans compulsively return to spawn, but for the rest of us, the purpose of moving there is to leave in a few years.

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What others say about boorite!

Does touching naked pictures of her count?

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If it wasn't for bad luck I wouldn't have no luck at all. D'OH!

Great. Now what am I gonna do with this tux?

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I wanted my half in the middle and I wound up on the edge.

Fuzzy look-alike contest?

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100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

Wait... what's this... what's this about "will send naked pictures"... ? I really would love and cherish you forever and all, but if you really wanna hang out with Il Postino, I mean... I'll take the pictures. Seriously.

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I wanted my half in the middle and I wound up on the edge.

Jesus, have some taste! They're not beaver shots, for Christ's sake!

They're really not, are they?

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What others say about boorite!

**

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I wanted my half in the middle and I wound up on the edge.

**

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This signature has performed an illegal operation and has been shut down.

**

*

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I wanted my half in the middle and I wound up on the edge.

quote:

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Jesus, have some taste! They're not beaver shots, for Christ's sake!

They're really not, are they?

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This is a blatant lie. I have never dated boorite, nor used Indie Pete to represent him in a comic strip about my life.

I have also never inhaled.

Nor had romantic fantasies about Nick Cave.

Or pink donkeys.

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When they invent BookFace, I'm -there-.

I can do that. And all that shit you thougt you were fucked for thinking about.

:)

Marry me, hon.

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I wanted my half in the middle and I wound up on the edge.

Probably no, still, BTW... according to my best estimate.

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I wanted my half in the middle and I wound up on the edge.

I'm touched enough to offer bunner a pity fuck. ;)

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I am a delicate fucking flower. https://beacons.ai/jesskent

Warms the soul, don't it?

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"And Wirthling isn't worth the paper he isn't printed on."