Man, what was I thinking

Today's thought and Children's TV in Spain by Zegota 9-08-03

Getting raped in the ass, not my idea of a gay time. GRANDOSSOS BOOBOS, ME NAME ES PIPO! OI OI OI, GIGANTICOS COCKOS ES NAME ES PIPO! SUPERBOS ANALE, FOR LA GRANDE FINALE MEOS NAME ES CAPITANOS FELLATIOS

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And you know what Hell is, folks. It's Andy Gibb, singing 'Shadowdancing' for aeons and aeons...

Life Lessons by TheGovernor 9-08-03

..And that.. my young donkey friend.. is why bestiality is a sin. Well Lucky Pete, the wedding's off Why did the cream not work? The rash has gone, but it still itches like crazy, and the red spots havent budged. I warned you Cowboy Bob not to mix business with pleasure.

If this doesn't win the CC, I'm entering it in the "worst comic ever" sweepstakes.

Silent but funny by boorite 9-08-03

Ferdinand's revenge This Wendy's chili goes right through you. They don't call it "fast food" for nothing. May I help you? Yes. Why does every single McDonald's smell exactly the same, and no other restaurant smells that way? Clown farts.

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What others say about boorite!

CC 209: The show must go on by lukket 9-08-03

I know the rules my fine friend. Just deliver that damn punchline! Ha! What are you going to do to me if I don't?! I really enjoyed our date. Yeah. I never knew bullfighting could be so exciting. It was just creepy to see the bull win. Yeah. It seemed very lifelike. My stomach hurt from laughing when the toreador yelled "What's going on. Why am I here. Help. A Bull!"

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troelsea at gmail dot com

CC209: Sex Ed by Chi_The_Cynic 9-08-03

So remember, kids, be like me and wear a condom! Or no ding ding in foo foo for you you! Man, a whole hour of sex ed and not a pussy in sight! Next up, David Attenborough takes a look at the private life of the domestic tabby cat Now THAT'S more like it!

Crushed without a touch by Spankling 9-08-03

They'll never get past my dust bunny defenders! Have you seen Spankling? Not since we tried to have sex last night. He came before he could get his pants off. What a mope. Oh no! you didn't laugh did you? you know how fragile his ego is. Hey! The sight of him going off like a party favor 5 minutes before the new year was better than having sex with him anyway!

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"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet

CC 209: Guessing game + Hey There! There goes the ObiJo! by jes_lawson 9-09-03

One of us is a Safety Donkey, the other one isn't! See if you can guess which one! Feldspar is a type of rock! Sung to the tune of the "Spider-Man®" theme Obi-Jo! Obi-Jo! Exploding Dog man "I told you so!" Does he suck? I don't know. But, it's fun to make fun of ObiJo Hey Theeere! There goes the ObiJoooo! I don't think I like this song any more...

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Please replace the handset, and try again.

CC209: Working together by mmyers 9-09-03

For driving your car into that busload of orphans and nuns while under the influence of alcohol, I'm throwing your ass in jail. Fortunately, everyone is OK. Oh man, I'm so relieved. I thought I may have spilled my drink. Hey, you spilled your tequila in my cranberry juice! You spilled your cranberry juice into my tequila! It's two great tastes that go great together! Let's fight!

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Peeing sitting down is the gift you give yourself.

I'm baaaaaack. Anyone notice I was gone? ;)

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I has a flavor!

CC 209: He said, cliched by kaufman 9-09-03

Go ahead, laugh now. But we'll see who's laughing when you wake up one morning to find your face has fallen off. Oh god, another 17 comics today in which someone spontaneously combusts. Can't anyone come up with something more original?

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

CC209 -- Great Expectations by fishoutofbeer 9-09-03

I can't wait for X-mas. I wonder what I'll get.... Meanwhile, at the North Pole Ugh! Ugh! That's the last time I'll...Ugh...eat Kung Pao Caribou...Ugh! You're getting Elf loaf..and liking it.

Emu poetry by boorite 9-09-03

Onomatopoeia for $800 The last "word" of tightrope walker Karl Wallenda. What is 'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves A stately pleasure dome decree Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May Just think of the money he saved!

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What others say about boorite!

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Mediocrity at its most average.

CC 209: Razing The Bar (1) by umfumdisi 9-10-03

What's shakin', Hot Stuff? The martini you're about to make me, Beautiful. So this rabbit walks into a bar and takes a seat, right? So one of the regulars yells...   ?   "Hey, barkeep, there's a hare in my stool!" Rabbits don't walk, dumbass.

CC 209: Razing The Bar (2) by umfumdisi 9-10-03

My ears are burning. I swear somebody's talking about me. Aw, you're just a paranoid egoist. Okay, I got another one. A rabbit HOPS into a bar and orders a Budweiser. He drinks it down in one gulp. Okay. Then one of the drunks yells, "Hey, bartender, there's a beer in my hare!" Can I hit you now?

CC 209: Razing The Bar (3) by umfumdisi 9-10-03

Hey, Handsome, good to see you're back. And it's good to see your front, My Dear. Okay...last one. Thank God. Knock Knock -------------------------------- Hare's To -------------------------------------- Hare's To You, My Friend! Who's There? --------------------------------- Hare's To Who? ------------------------------------------------------ I'm leaving.

CC 209: Razing The Bar (4) by umfumdisi 9-10-03

So how's your new job going? The tips are great. I could do without the stupid people, though. Welcome to Warren's. What'll ya have? I'd like a Bloody Mary with a carrot stick instead of a celery stick. ........On second thought, hold the carrot. Excellent.

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CC 209: Razing The Bar (Postlude) by umfumdisi 9-10-03

You thought up any more rabbit jokes? Sort of, I'm trying to work "Hare of the dog" into my repertoire. Well, I've never heard of that drink, but I'll see what I can do... ...there, one "Descolada on the rocks." Whoa! That's the last time I'm dropping acid with kaddar.

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Chicken Feather Bed Bugs Bunny Hop Sing Out Side Street Walker Texas Ranger Cookie Dough Boy Wonder Years

It is the best form of flattery, isn't it?

CC 209: Razing the Borrowed by kaufman 9-10-03

Let me get this straight. You nearly finished that bottle of bourbon and now you want a half gallon of beer? Look at Entwistle and McCartney passed out over there, you want to be like them? Look, doc, It's the bottom of the fifth, the bassists are loaded, and I want a new pitcher! So this mafia enforcer walks into a bar and takes a seat, right? So one of the regulars yells... Hey, I thought you said yesterday that it was a rabbit, not a goon. Tip o' the hat to umfumdisi Oh well, hare today, goon tomorrow. Hey, DexX, could you draw one of me hammering a nail into my head?

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

Officer Friendly by boorite 9-10-03

I don't know what the fuck you're supposed to be, but it can't be legal. Margle. Are crimes to be punished but by other crimes, and greater criminals? Look, you parked ON a fire hydrant, in a handicapped zone. I have to give you something. I bear within a torture that could nothing gain from thine. How do you spell "jaywalking?"

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What others say about boorite!

2+1 = A need for a comprehensive analysis by CrunchyCheese 9-10-03

What the hell is a graviton? I was hoping you knew Ed, I've been getting some complaints about your last all-office e-mail Are you kidding me? It was a birth announcement for my new son. Right. Given these uncertain times, do you really think its appropriate to brag about having unprotected sex? Oh someone is about to get a subscription to alt.fistme.org ....

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There's a fine line between visionary and wacko ~ greinhart

Oof. This was a tough one to judge. There was a lot of funny in this contest.

Here are the semi-finalists o'justice:

!+!+@ # by crabby

Yep! by akirajim

Detective Fun Pack Comix by kaufman

Umfum's Dizzy by umfumdisi

Robot Bonding Experiences by KungChiFu

Reality/television by boorite

Auditions at teh Sucky Revue by KungChiFu

Today's thought and Children's TV in Spain by Zegota

Life Lessons by TheGovernor

Silent but funny by boorite

The show must go on by lukket

Guessing game + Hey There! There goes the ObiJo! by jes_lawson

Working together by mmyers

He said, cliched by kaufman

Great Expectations by fishoutofbeer

Razing the Bar series by umfumdisi

Razing the Borrowed by kaufman

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And now for the finalists:

!+!+@ # by crabby

Detective Fun Pack Comix by kaufman

Auditions at teh Sucky Revue by KungChiFu

Today's thought and Children's TV in Spain by Zegota

Razing the Bar series by umfumdisi

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And finally the super-leet final finalists:

Detective Fun Pack Comix by kaufman

Razing the Bar series by umfumdisi

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And the winner is..........

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CC 209: Razing The Bar (1) by umfumdisi 9-10-03

What's shakin', Hot Stuff? The martini you're about to make me, Beautiful. So this rabbit walks into a bar and takes a seat, right? So one of the regulars yells...   ?   "Hey, barkeep, there's a hare in my stool!" Rabbits don't walk, dumbass.

CC 209: Razing The Bar (2) by umfumdisi 9-10-03

My ears are burning. I swear somebody's talking about me. Aw, you're just a paranoid egoist. Okay, I got another one. A rabbit HOPS into a bar and orders a Budweiser. He drinks it down in one gulp. Okay. Then one of the drunks yells, "Hey, bartender, there's a beer in my hare!" Can I hit you now?

CC 209: Razing The Bar (3) by umfumdisi 9-10-03

Hey, Handsome, good to see you're back. And it's good to see your front, My Dear. Okay...last one. Thank God. Knock Knock -------------------------------- Hare's To -------------------------------------- Hare's To You, My Friend! Who's There? --------------------------------- Hare's To Who? ------------------------------------------------------ I'm leaving.

CC 209: Razing The Bar (4) by umfumdisi 9-10-03

So how's your new job going? The tips are great. I could do without the stupid people, though. Welcome to Warren's. What'll ya have? I'd like a Bloody Mary with a carrot stick instead of a celery stick. ........On second thought, hold the carrot. Excellent.

Congratulations, umfum!

A winner is you.

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I ate a hooker half a bottle of knife.

That reminds me of a joke "A horse walks into a bar..."

Congrats umfum, looking forward to the next contest.

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Please replace the handset, and try again.

Wow. I feel like the toilets at The Sizzler after the lunch rush--all flushed.

Thanks for a great contest, Obi.

I'll get a new one running tonight.

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Chicken Feather Bed Bugs Bunny Hop Sing Out Side Street Walker Texas Ranger Cookie Dough Boy Wonder Years

I was actually hoping umfum would win so I wouldn't have to tell him his comics were really smart even though he didn't win. And he did! (Win.)

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What others say about boorite!

I laughed out loud and got kicked out of the library. Thanks, umfum. Quaff quaff quaff.

Weird...after I posted that series, I thought, I hope someone reads this and gets kicked out of a library.

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Chicken Feather Bed Bugs Bunny Hop Sing Out Side Street Walker Texas Ranger Cookie Dough Boy Wonder Years