Very well done, people. Some of you really made me proud and overcame the seemingly incongruous template. The wieners are as follows:

The Truth Award

Goes to:smamurai

For the Comic:

Most Political

Goes to:UnknownEric

For the Comic:

FTC#13: A Very Fox Network Christmas by UnknownEric 12-10-03

Boy, this year is going to be an interesting one. Why, boss? Production is through the roof, and morale has never been better since we all switched to Geico. That's just it. The Naughty Index is up to 89% this year! We're overstocked! Holy Jizz Turrets, Santa! What are we going to do? We'll return to "How Santa Discovered Ebay" after these scenes from tonight's brand new episode of "24." Yes! You're just the person to "dis-arm" the terrorists. What happened to Keifer Sutherland?

Funniest Comic to Nerds

Goes to:fzh

For the Comic:

FTC #13: Another Crappy Christmas special by fzh 12-09-03

Boy, this year is going to be an interesting one. Why, boss? Production is through the roof, and morale has never been better since we all switched to Geico. That's just it! The Naughty Index is up to 98% this year! We're overstocked! Holy Jizz Turrets Santa! What are we going to do? ....and when I saw Gollum making shameless plugs for Geico and refering to "Holy Jizz Turrets" I decided I was less likely to lose my brains to you than the TV. bbrraaiinnss...

Most Sexual

Goes to:Rabid_Weasle

For the Comic:

FTC #13: Kaufman's Favorite Christmas Movie by Rabid_Weasle 12-09-03

Boy, this year is going to be an interesting one. Why, boss? Production is through the roof, and morale has never been better since we all switched to Geico. That's just it. The Naughty Index is up to 89% this year! We're overstocked! Holy Jizz Turrets, Santa! What are we going to do? Then Santa said "I'll show you jizz turrets!", and removed his jacket to reveal his muscular chest and chiseled abs...

There was no real irony in this contest, so I chose the closest thing to it.
Most Ironic

Goes to:smamurai

For the Comic:

Best (or I should say WORST in this case) Pun

Goes to:Who else? KAUFMAN

For the Comic:
http://www.stripcreator.com/view.php?author=kaufman&ID=197103]

Funniest Politically Incorrect

Goes to:xxausrottenxx

For the Comic:
[Click to view comic: '...his belly shook like a bowl full of KY jelly']

Most Obscure

Goes to:mmyers

For the Comic:
[Click to view comic: 'FTC 13- The Education of Dcomposed']

The Tobor Award, for funniest Inside Joke

Goes to:Denyer

For the Comic:
[Click to view comic: 'Why That Fat Guy Is So Jolly']

Best Title

Goes to:It was a tie between
Kaufman and xxausrottenxx

For the Comics:
[Click to view comic: '...his belly shook like a bowl full of KY jelly']
[Click to view comic: 'On the 13th FTC My True Love Gave to Me ...']

Most Similar

Goes to:laughinginyourface

And
Rabid_Weasle

For the Comics:
[Click to view comic: 'FTC #13: I Like Stories']
[Click to view comic: 'FTC 13 ITS A BIG MOTHA!']

Best Use of Lack of Rules

Goes to:umfumdisi

For the Comic:
[Click to view comic: 'FTC #13: And May All Your Christmases Be White']

Silver Award of Excellence

Goes to:UnknownEric

For the Comic:
[Click to view comic: 'FTC 13: It's A Dead Man's Party...']

No one really was all that psychic, but Rabid gets the closest.
Psychic Award

Goes to:Rabid_Weasle

For the Comic:
[Click to view comic: 'FTC #13: I Like Stories']

My comic was:
[Click to view comic: 'FTC 13: We Pish You a Merry Christmas']

Creativity Award

Goes to:mmyers

For the Comic:
[Click to view comic: 'FTC 13- The Ken and dcom Christmas special']

Zinger Award (And the next host of FTC)

Goes to:UMFUMDISI!

For the Comic:
[Click to view comic: 'FTC #13: And May All Your Christmases Be White']

Well, thank MOST of you for making this a pretty cool initiation into hosting the FTC. Mayhap I can give you all a better run next time around.

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The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

I thought you said the 12th. :(

FTC 13 by laughinginyourface 12-11-03

Boy, this year is going to be an interesting one. Why boss? Production is through the roof, and morale has never been better since we all switched to Geico. That's just it. The Naughty Index is up to 89% this year! We're overstocked! Holy Jizz Turrets Santa! What are we going to do? Here's a hand for Christmas. Now let's fuck!

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...and pain joined his urge to percieve...

Wangs. I was actually going to enter this one.

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Batman created by Bob Kane

Ok... so umfum won for a comic that broke the rules?

Funny comic none the less, good going all.

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Poop.

5{s my intent to place Kaufman and Dcom in a situation and everyone would have to attempt to relate the dialogue to the seemingly unrelated first two panels.

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That's what I tried to do.
Oh, wait. I meant, "That's what I tried not to do."

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"Oedipus, you motherfucker!"

Always the bridesmaid but never the bride. Och well, at least I scooped two awards. Not for the comic I thought I would but hey! That's comedy.

Good comp.

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GOVT. Warning: Do not smoke around children they will badger you for fags.

Aww, I'll try next time!

Good job to everyone who won and award. All of the comics were hysterical though!!!!

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It's not the crack, it's the 'caine.

Sorry, everyone. I had to judge early because I usually log on from the office, and I had to go to training all day on the 12th. I wasn't sure if I'd get a chance to be on at all this weekend, and I didn't want to stretch the contest to Monday.

Dcom, I'm disappointed in you! I put your little ass in there and everything and you couldn't even think of something clever to say. For shame. Congrats, Umfum!

P.S. - Rabid, his comic broke the rules all right, pretty egregiously, but I still thought it was the funniest.

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The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

Maybe if you didn't end it early before I got a chance to do anything I would have.

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Batman created by Bob Kane

Okay, I just found out that I won. I'll start a new FTC soon.

Sometimes you gotta break the rules...

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Chicken Feather Bed Bugs Bunny Hop Sing Out Side Street Walker Texas Ranger Cookie Dough Boy Wonder Years

MAYBE if your decaying little ass wasn't a Last-Minute Larry, this wouldn't be a problem! Eat my shorts, dead-boy!

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The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.