fpd
Doctor of Fine Parody
Member Rated:

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With these strips, I turn from lampooning Marvel superheros to lampooning a DC superhero, the world's mightiest mortal, Captain Marvel.
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| Buy a paper, mister? Big news, today! Weapons of mass destruction have been found in Iran, North Korea, and even Canada. | |
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| No, I read the Onion online before it hits the streets. Come, follow me through this abandoned subway. | |
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| Welcome, Willy Wanton. I am the grand wizard Shagleg. Repeat my name, and you shall be as a god. | |
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| S ................... (Sloth) H ................ (Hubris) A ................. (Anger) G ............. (Gluttony) L ................... (Lust) E ................... (Envy) G ................ (Greed) | |
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| Whenever you repeat my name, you will transform into Kapitän Übel, which in English is Captain Evil. Go now and do evil! | |
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| Shove off, old man! I'll do whatever I damn well please, and right now I want to eat a ton of burgers, watch some porn, and take a long nap. | |
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| Sorry, kid, but you're too young to get in to see Star Whores: Attack of the Jones. It's rated triple X. | |
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| Holy baloney, lady. That's why I want to see it. I want to see Pudme Amy Doll do that Skystalker dude who becomes the Dark Invader. | |
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| S ................... (Sloth) H ................ (Hubris) A ................. (Anger) G ............. (Gluttony) L ................... (Lust) E ................... (Envy) G ................ (Greed) | |
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| Ha, ha! With my power to turn into a grown up, I can get to see all the porn I want. | |
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| Here you are, sir. One ticket for Attack of the Jones. Enjoy the show. | |
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| Oh, I will, little lady. And when the show is over, I'll come over and tell you all about it, if you know what I mean. He he he. | |
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| Get away from me, you creep! Don't you know that no means no? Help! Help! | |
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| Holy baloney! That creep is going to rape that hot babe, and I know she could do so much better. Shagleg! | |
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| Hey, creep, the lady told you no. Now scat before I get evil on your ass. | |
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| I'm not messing with you, Kapitän Übel. I've heard that you're one wicked dude. | |
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| Holy baloney! You're that hot Tawnee Stoned babe I've seen on the Teen Tiger website. How'd you like to do a superhero? | |
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| Rarrh, you can call me Tawnee the Teen Tiger, handsome. But let's do it the right way, in front of a camera. When it's porn, it's not prostitution. | |
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| You, with the stylized umlauted U on your chest, are you the hero Übermensch? We need your help desperately. | |
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| Übermensch? ÜBERMENSCH?! That fancy pants superman gets all the glory. Why, I oughtta murderize the bum! | |
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| Well, if you're not Übermensch, who are you? | |
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| You have the great honor of beholding the glorious and ever-so superb Kapitän Übel. | |
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| Please, Kapitän Übel, the tsunami in the Indian Ocean has devastated so many lives. They need your help rebuilding. | |
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| Little girl, if Kapitän Übel can't help them, no one can. But, really, what's in it for me? | |
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| Kapitän Übel, if you go aid the survivors of the tsunami, you will win honor and glory. | |
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| But I'll still be overshadowed by that Übermensch glory hog. How I can I get a break if I just do what he does? | |
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| Is glory so important? What about honor? What about the people who need your help? | |
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| Holy baloney, girl. I already deserve all honor and glory just for being me. I am the greatest, the supremest, the most superb. | |
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| Are you saying you won't help the tsunami survivors? Don't you care? | |
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| Why don't you bugger off, girl? I am sick and tired of hearing you whine about the needs of others. What about my needs? | |
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--- FPD is the foremost plague on discussion boards. Do your part to stomp out FPD.
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