Take me home by lukket 9-04-04

In 1980 the Music World lay in ruins following the collapse of disco. A group of musicians led by Ray Charleston went to seek new territory. On a journey that unfortunately became a source of inspiration to John Denver, they found their new home at the end of the country roads; West Virginia. The capital was named after Ray Charleston. Many cities were named after the musicians, among which were: Jeff Beckley, Charlie Parkersburg, Roger "Princeton" Nelson , Ricky Martinsburg, Petula Clarksburg and Phil "Harmonic" of Vienna.

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troelsea at gmail dot com

... and Barry Whitesulphersprings!

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

Nice one! I missed it completely.

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troelsea at gmail dot com

Why it smells cheesy by kaufman 9-04-04

On November 13, a sloppy sportswriter was asked to remove himself from his place of residence. That request came from his roommate. With nowhere else to go, he and his fellow slobs appeared in what we now know as Wisconsin. They built a capital and named it after the sportswriter, Oscar Madison. The rest of the state was named after his fellow evicted slobs: Joe Milwaukee, Jack Greenbay, Angus Eauclaire, Horace Wausau, Stephen Spoint, Michael Fondulac, ...

All's well that Roswell by kaufman 9-04-04

On December 24th of The Year Without a Christmas, the sleigh from the North Pole crashed beyond repair in present day New Mexico. The crew of the sleigh built a capital, and named it Santa Fee in honor of their captain's plan to raise money for (1) fixing the sleigh, and (2) adding the second "e" to the sign at the city limits. The rest of the state was named after the rest of the crew: Rudolph Albuquerque, Prancer Gallup, Dasher Taos, Blitzen Lascruces, Cupid Tucumcari, Comet Truthorconsequences, ...

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

Road trip by pita 9-05-04

When Brad was just a wee lad, he formulated an idea... one that would inspire great comic writers from all walks of life! He decided to travel across a vast superhighway, aka The Worldwide Web... He founded a place called Lowpass, and developed the terrain into Stripcreator.com. Soon all the surrounding domains were named after his loyal minions... Woodenbadger.com, Kaufmans.com, wirthling.com, bunnerabb.tripod.com, pita.net, pantless.com, and many, many others....

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“It is only with the heart that one sees rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.” - The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry (1945)

Husker Doings by kaufman 9-06-04

On April 14, 1865, a world-weary president staged (he was quite the punster) his own assassination, and stole off into the night with a few loyal supporters. They settled in what appeared to be a tourist trap, code-named Harold Warp's Pioneer Village, and from there built a new capital, named after President Lincoln. The rest of the new state Nebraska was named after his fellow escapees: Bill Omaha, Bobby Valentine, Steve McCook, Alan Northplatte, Henry Scottsbluff, Christopher Chadron, Samuel Ogallala, ...

Dude, Where's My Dade? by kaufman 9-06-04

One September, a hurricane blew a bunch of people into what we now know as Florida. They built a capital, and named it after their most aerodynamic arrivee, Janet Tallahassee. The rest of the state was named after the other folks who blew in: Leonard Miami, Tony Orlando, Brenda Tampa, Fred Pensacola, Mary Bocaraton, John Keywest, Harry Westpalmbeach, Sue Suncitycenter, ... They'd have built more cities, but it was 3:30, and time for the Early Bird Special.

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

Californication by qwertyuio 9-06-04

For years, porn mogul Cal E Fornicate had been hassled by authorities trying to shut him down. Oh dammit! I'm just giving the public what it wants. I seriously doubt "TVTA" videos are even possible, much less what the public wants. One day he decided the only way to fix the problem was to take his whores...actors with him to a untamed territory, which he named after himself. I'll call this California. What do you think? Where's my fucking coke asshole?! Many cities were named after porn stars: Billy Ball Sacramento, Long Beach Dong Silver, Little Oral Anaheim, Debbie Does San Diego, and Anal Annie Oakland. Damnit Stephanie San Andreas, quit causing earthquakes! Told you my orgasms were intense.

This would have been alot better if the catholics hadn't named every place.

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I think it's time I had a talk with my kids. I'll just tell 'em what my daddy told me: YOU AIN'T NEVER GONNA AMOUNT TO NOTHIN'

An autumn nights dream by lukket 9-08-04

Helena had grown tired of Demetrius' archaic style, so she decided to leave him in the dead of the night and look for a more meaningful experience. She quickly found other dissatisfied Shakespeare cast members on a quest for a better life. The travellers founded Montana and named the capitol after their fearless leader, Helena. When shall we three meet again? Other cities were named after the travellers: Vipsanius Anacondadeerlodgecounty, King Missoula, Don Adriano de Glasgow, Gaius Billings, Greatfalls, King of Denmark, John Havre, and Martius Milescity.

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troelsea at gmail dot com

Show Me the Funny! by kaufman 9-08-04

In 1809, a weary ex-president headed west with some friends to the center of the country, and they set up a capital named after him: Jefferson City. The rest of the state was named after his buddies: Martin St. Louis, Marvin Kansas City, David Independence, Tom Hannibal, Jackie Branson, Gunther Wentzville, Columbia Weed ... Coincidentally, the latter settler had a bunch of her namesake, so they all got high and built a bunch of trippy Gateway Arches, all but one of which fell down during the great New Madrid earthquake.

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

Halftime lasted three weeks, eh? So sue me. We're back, and starting on the other 25.

Starting with these two:

Avoiding a Groton Deal by kaufman 9-29-04

A bunch of drivers who wanted to save on their car insurance didn't call Geico; instead they headed out and settled the land we know as Connecticut. They established a capital and named it after their leader, Joe Hartford. The rest of the state was named after the other drivers: Irma Bridgeport, Lou Waterbury, Alex Torrington, Sabrina Greenwich, Harold Willimantic, Jason Northgrosvenordale, ...

A Little Less Long Gestation by kaufman 9-29-04

A bunch of pregnant women carrying Elvis impersonators colonized what we know as Mississippi, so that their babies could impersonate the King, right down to his state of birth. They established a capital and named it after the first one to give birth, Lisa-Marie Jackson. The rest of the state was named after the other mothers-to-be: Barbara Biloxi, Annie Tupelo, Martha Vicksburg, Janet Meridian, Holly Springs, Bella Westpoint, Lois Yazoocity, ...

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com