There once was a man named Matt
On big dicks is where he sat
What I'm trying to say
Is that he was quite gay
Not that there's anything wrong with that.

There once was a lass named Rosy
Who would often get quite "cozy"
With Joe's organ that smelt
Till one day she felt
He was getting a little too nosy.

Gabe was a failure as a suitor
They'd tell him to go get neutered
So he worked out every day
Shaved his hair away
And now never moves from his computer

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I ate a hooker half a bottle of knife.

Obi, who lives way out west
Is often considered a pest
If I had the chance
I'd set fire to his pants
And stuff him into a chest

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100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

There once was a fellow named Gabe,
Whose name was really hard to rhyme with.

Okay, let's try that again...

There once was a fellow named Gabe,
Who... who... momeraths outgrabe?

Fuck it.

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This signature has performed an illegal operation and has been shut down.

Bunnerab triumphant.

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What others say about boorite!

There once was a fellow named Gabe,
whom all the chicks thought was a babe.
He got laid every night
Man, what a sight!
And his favorite president was Abe.

Shit. My name is hard to rhyme with.

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100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

I once had a pal named Gabe Billings,
who loved to receive dental fillings.
He must've been hollow,
given how much he'd swallow.
Had he charged money he'd now be worth billions.

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"And Wirthling isn't worth the paper he isn't printed on."

quote:

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quote:

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There once as a Glasvegan stripper
whose zingers could hardly be hipper
Though witty he was
and his barbs caused a buzz
he produced his best joke from his zipper

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"Glasvegan"?! Sorry, I don't know how that ended up there. Shoulda said "Glaswegian" obviously...

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quote:

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quote:

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quote:

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There once as a Glasvegan stripper
whose zingers could hardly be hipper
Though witty he was
and his barbs caused a buzz
he produced his best joke from his zipper

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"Glasvegan"?! Sorry, I don't know how that ended up there. Shoulda said "Glaswegian" obviously...

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Tell me where you're from, wirthling, so I can make retaliatory limericks about your manhood.

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Really? Wow, that's a real coin....

Hey. Wait just one damn minute.

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100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

The man from Nantucket by andydougan 9-22-01

There once was an old man named wirth, Ling who thought he'd try to cause some mirth, By giving me a false name, To distract from his shame, Caused by his penis's small girth. True story.

There once were two strippers from Cleveland,
Who knew what to take out and leave in,
They cranked out the funny,
But it never made money,
Cause they let all the forum posts peeve them.

Said an ObiJo from Arizona,
"When it comes to strong drink, pal, I own ya"
Bunner said "Phooey!",
But then he thought "Hooee!
"We'll run out of booze if they clone ya."

Gabe's mom was maternally stunted,
So for Foster folks she always hunted,
To take her young brat,
And once she failed that,
The old bint dropped back ten and punted.

Old wirthling had caused quite a stink,
For the donkeys he'd bent o'er the sink,
And as he philandered,
He cried: "I've got standards!
I won't shag them less'n they're pink."

Ther was an old stripper named boorite,
Who argued so well and erudite,
The subject didn't matter,
He just loved to blatter,
And if he lost, he'd start a food fight.

An Aussie named DexX from old Oz,
Made comics that gave us some pause,
They defied clear description,
And even encryption,
And most of them broke sev'ral laws.

cheers,

:- )

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I wanted my half in the middle and I wound up on the edge.

There once was a cranky old geezer
who pulled his jokes fresh from the freezer.
It's said he's so old,
or so I've been told,
he wrote punchlines for Julius Caesar.

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"And Wirthling isn't worth the paper he isn't printed on."

There once was a fellow named Andy,
with a dildo he was rather handy.
Though a poor dickless scot
he still gave sex a shot
with a mechanical modus operandi.

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"And Wirthling isn't worth the paper he isn't printed on."

(ducking for cover)

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"And Wirthling isn't worth the paper he isn't printed on."

There once was a bodyless head,
Who was older than old was when dead,
He had neither wit nor style,
And Jesus on speed dial,
And dinosaur shit in his bed.

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I wanted my half in the middle and I wound up on the edge.

This one fellow, let's call him "Wirth",
Should really have been drowned at birth.
Wrote things he called comics,
That just made us vomit.
That small dick of his caused us more mirth!

Okay, that was nasty. I would apologise if it were anyone but wirthling.

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This signature has performed an illegal operation and has been shut down.

There once lived a tiring old bore,
Whose limericks made everyone snore.
All he did was take shots
At well-endowed Scots
And remained a virgin until twenty-four.

Hahahahahahhaha.

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What others say about boorite!

I am a very big non-Haitian
As big as the whole Haitian nation
If I have just one more meal
I'll have a gravity field
And then stop due to time dilation.

I bet he doesn't even smoke pot
And cleans all his shirts of their spots
And I make no parody
By saying he does charity
Big and Evil he obviously is not.

At some words I can't help but snicker
Like Tobor and manboob and vicar
But oddly enough
I find it real tough
To laugh at things to do with wicker.

A man in the park said to me
There's a penny there, don't you see
But when I bent down
All I found was a frown
Cuz the man was Mr. Sticks-His-Dick-in-Your-Ass-While-You're-Looking-the-Other-Direction unfortunately.

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I ate a hooker half a bottle of knife.

ObiJo is a magbast.

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What others say about boorite!

While boning wirth's mom on the couch,
young wirthling leapt up from a crouch,
He cried: "Hey, that's my mum there!"
Said she: "It's just fun, dear.
So go play and don't be a grouch."

Gabe B's felching prowess was true,
And he liked to show off at the zoo,
The tux was a rental,
And it drove the clerk mental,
Cleaning out all the ape spoo.

There was a young gal, LadyJ,
Who moved west from out Cleveland way,
She's bright and she's tough,
And she likes to play rough,
So, naturally, we think she's gay.

A pin-headed git from Old Glasgow,
Who wrote bad reviews for some crap shows,
Well, he started this thread,
And when asked why said:
"Och, aye! Well, fook me, aye dunno!"

These are all just taking the piss. It's just a good natured poke at some of you. I think you're all pretty wonderful.

I mean, you know... except for wirthling. He sucks.

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I wanted my half in the middle and I wound up on the edge.

quote:

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There was a young gal, LadyJ,
Who moved west from out Cleveland way,
She's bright and she's tough,
And she likes to play rough,
So, naturally, we think she's gay.

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Pedal?

quote:

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A pin-headed git from Old Glasgow,
Who wrote bad reviews for some crap shows,
Well, he started this thread,
And when asked why said:
"Och, aye! Well, fook me, aye dunno!"

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Missed that.

Rock on....

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I wanted my half in the middle and I wound up on the edge.