New ones from yesterday and today

More True Confessions by attitudechicka 8-18-05

You know, when we first started this office, it was only men working here. Yeah... and then your father wised up and realized that women will actually get work done.

Make Your Heart Happy by attitudechicka 8-18-05

All you're getting for lunch is a yogurt? Well, yeah I'm kind of low on cash right now, and yogurt is actually quite filling. Fine, I'll get two.

Evil Office Equipment (1) by attitudechicka 8-19-05

I hate staples and staple removers and staplers and everything else associated with staples! Whose idea was it to stick multiple pieces of paper together anyhow? Do the papers WANT to be stuck together? Gia, get a grip. The office equipment is not out to get you. Then why did I hear an evil laugh come out of my stapler today?

Evil Office Equipment (2) by attitudechicka 8-19-05

Stupid stapler and your stupid jamming up! Uh, Gia, maybe you should take the rest of the day off. Enjoy your weekend. Oh I will. Two days with no sticky notes, no binder clips, no paper clips, and best of all, no staples or staple byproducts! Right. Maybe you should take Monday off too.

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Mediocrity at its most average.

You know, I thought some of these might be pretty good, but I guess you guys know that I'm just hovering over this topic praying someone would post to it.

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Mediocrity at its most average.

needs more narration boxes

just kidding. lower the muzzle

i liked the stapler ones, but other than that they didn't do anything for me. i think they might be chick comics and you have the wrong demographic here

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what if nigger meant kite

Actually, I enjoy staples and paper clips and elastic bands, it keeps all my work in order.

Perhaps I am the anti-christ.

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Dad was flammable

What Every Good Boyfriend Would Do by attitudechicka 8-23-05

I don't want to be at work today. What do you want me to do about it? Can't you fake a death in the family just this once, for me?

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Mediocrity at its most average.

And the Inscription Read: Bring Me More Beer and Hookers by attitudechicka 9-19-05

So, like, why is it we never see the boss man? Oh, he just thinks he's God, that's all. What? He prefers to be heard but not seen. You lie. Once, I saw Sal coming down the hill struggling to carry these two huge stones. He gave up about halfway down and dropped them.

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Mediocrity at its most average.

This one is my favourite in the series so far.

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Please replace the handset, and try again.

I liked them.

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It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

It's all in good fun...

You Know You Suck When...

...staplers laugh at you behind your back...

by HCRoyall, 9-20-05

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It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

Evilly laugh. Evilly.

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Mediocrity at its most average.

I don't know why, but we listen to the 80's station at work. My coworkers hate eighties music for the most part. This conversation and others quite like it are what I hear all day at work. Joy!

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Mediocrity at its most average.

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Mediocrity at its most average.

This one isn't "true" in the sense that it happened, but it's "true" in the fact that it was considered a real option:

There Goes My Hero, Shouting "Tomato!" by attitudechicka 10-13-05

I wish someone would call and fake a relative's death to get me out of work. I know just what to do! Good morning Investigative Services! Tomato! Tomato! Tomato! Gia, I don't know what's going on, but you better get home quick. There's a Scottish man on the phone shouting "Tomato!"

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Mediocrity at its most average.

Resumes Sent Out Today: 12 Responses: 0 by attitudechicka 10-27-05

Okay, got all these reports done... finally. *Fake work laugh* Oh, well hopefully this next one will be a quickie. Thank you! That's what TOBOR will be saying later. Huh? DOES CHICKA REQUIRE TOBOR'S SERVICES? Wait until she goes to lunch and wait in her office. I bet she loves hide and seek!

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Mediocrity at its most average.

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Mediocrity at its most average.

Technically, these belong here because it's an experience at my job, however it's pretty universally accepted anywhere there's an automated machine.

Customer Appriciation Day At The Automated Machine 1 by attitudechicka 1-17-06

Say one for English *some kind of mixture of Spanish words that means 2 for Spanish* One. I'm sorry, I couldn't understand that. *Some mixture of Spanish words that means I'm sorry I couldn't understand that* Won? I'm sorry I couldn't understand that. *Some mixture of Spanish words that means I'm sorry I couldn't understand that.* OMG English RoXXoRZ teh big one!!!one!!1!!

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Mediocrity at its most average.