CC 309: One Evening at the Playboy Club by fpd 1-03-06

I'll be your waiter for tonight, sir. Are you ready to order? This is so WRONG! At the Playboy Club, I should have a sexy female waitress in a bunny suit, not some fat guy. How very sexist of you! Haven't you heard of equal rights? Men and women have equal rights to wait tables at the Playboy Club. But Playboy is all about catering to fantasy. I want to be waited on by a female bunny, or I'm going to leave! Hello there, big boy, I hear you want some fantasy with your dinner. You know what, I think I'll just take an early flight back home and spend some quality time with my wife.

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FPD is the foremost plague on discussion boards. Do your part to stomp out FPD.

Same Difference by RedfeatheR 1-03-06

ROCK AGAINST DRUGS!!! Shit yeah!!! CHRISTIANS AGAINST CHRIST!!! Heavens yes!!!

Same Difference II by RedfeatheR 1-03-06

I'm not real I'm not real I'm not real

RCL no. 787 by RandomComicLayoutGuy 1-03-06

Okay. Polly... You stay here while I rob the place. And, if you see someone coming, whistle! No can do! I just ate a shitload of salted crackers, and I'm suffering from a bad case of dry beak. But, I can signal you another way... Okay. Let's hear it! [BRAAAAAAAAAAAPP!!!] Mmm-mm! Smells like a cross between tune pate and bean curd!

RCL no. 788 by RandomComicLayoutGuy 1-03-06

*sob* I'm sooooo sorry! *sniff* I didn't mean what I said to you... So, I don't have to sleep in the "wet" spot, Uncle Phil? No. Now come back to bed, okay?

CC 309: what if the south had won by mandingo 1-04-06

nigger passes to nigger. oh! nigger steals it! he passes to nigger, nigger puts up a shot, blocked by that big nigger! 4 niggers on 1 fast break! to nigger! back to nigger! who slams it home! and there's the buzzer! final score: Lakers: 98, Bulls: 93! player of the game: Luke Walton. Luke, you might know, Len, just became the league's first million dollar player well he does set a mighty fine pick, Rog

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what if nigger meant kite

RCL no. 789 by RandomComicLayoutGuy 1-04-06

...and, over there's where I cornholed Miss Pennynipple after 11th grade English! I don't believe you! What? That I got busy with my teacher on her desk? No. That a black guy ever made it past the sixth grade! This racist comic was brought to you by Mandingo...

CC 309: A Miner Error by kaufman 1-04-06

As the repercussions of this West Virginia mining disaster grow, questions are being raised regarding the handling of the situation. That's right. Apparently, the mining company spokesman has had a history of mispainting the truth in the past. August, 1945 Good news. In spite of this explosion here in Hiroshima, there has only been one fatality. Hooray! September, 2001 I know you're concerned about your husband, but I just heard that the hijackers have flown all the planes to Tahiti. Free vacations for everyone!

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

Okay, It's come time to grade this thing.

There were a lot of great entries. RCLG did a number of nice ones, and HotRod's Gran and Gran stuff always gets me chuckling. And thank you biped for the McWrongs. But the top three are as follows:

3rd place to kaufman for this one:

CC 309: A Miner Error by kaufman 1-04-06

As the repercussions of this West Virginia mining disaster grow, questions are being raised regarding the handling of the situation. That's right. Apparently, the mining company spokesman has had a history of mispainting the truth in the past. August, 1945 Good news. In spite of this explosion here in Hiroshima, there has only been one fatality. Hooray! September, 2001 I know you're concerned about your husband, but I just heard that the hijackers have flown all the planes to Tahiti. Free vacations for everyone!

2nd place to mandingo for this one:

CC 309: what if the south had won by mandingo 1-04-06

nigger passes to nigger. oh! nigger steals it! he passes to nigger, nigger puts up a shot, blocked by that big nigger! 4 niggers on 1 fast break! to nigger! back to nigger! who slams it home! and there's the buzzer! final score: Lakers: 98, Bulls: 93! player of the game: Luke Walton. Luke, you might know, Len, just became the league's first million dollar player well he does set a mighty fine pick, Rog

And RedfeatheR gets the win for this one:

Bacon Gum Bites by RedfeatheR 1-02-06

I'm sorry... there's nothing I could do. Your child choked in his sleep... I'm so sorry He's gone... Oh God... what could he have choked on? He had nothing in his crib with him... What could it have been, Jon? 4 hours earlier zzzzzzzzzZZZZZIP

I didn't think anyone could make a better one than that and I was right, but you guys came damn close.

And now that I stop to think, I realize that this is the second CC I've judged and the second one Red's won. Auspicious occasion, it is. Next time Red gets a handicap.

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It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

holyshitthanks. I'll think with my brain on what CC310 will be about. Give me about 24 hours... It'll be good.

Thank HC

-- red