If only there was a way to spell "thuh-thuh-thuh-thuh-thuh" or whatever that sound is that Hopkins makes.

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"And Wirthling isn't worth the paper he isn't printed on."

CC 111: At Least The Plot Isn't Confusing... by BigEvilDan 4-03-02

In a world... ...Captain Obvious stars in "Captain Obvious: The Movie" I'm Captain Obvious, and this is my world.

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"Oh, look, a joke! How original! Thank you, but if I wanted my emotions stimulated pleasurably, I'd get a whore." - Donald B. Jones III

quote:

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If only there was a way to spell "thuh-thuh-thuh-thuh-thuh" or whatever that sound is that Hopkins makes.

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CC111: Sappho's Island by fpd 4-03-02

In a world where the women are gay, and the men aren't happy about it ... Your bewitching charms make me feel so exhiliratingly gay, Maura. I am all giddy with gay delight to hear you say that, Sappho. Unless they can join a menage a trois. It fills my heart with gaity to know there is only room for two girls here. Yeah, ha ha, there's no place for a third person. It's all girl-on-girl action in "Sappho's Island," coming soon to the back room in a video store near you. Maura, would you like to lick up some pudding? Thank goodness that's not what I thought it was. I'd love to lick up some pudding.

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FPD is the foremost plague on discussion boards. Do your part to stomp out FPD.

CC111: Elmo's World by fpd 4-03-02

In a world known to three-year olds across America ... Mr. Noodle's brother Mr. Noodle, do you know where Elmo has gone? I believe that he and my brother Mr. Noodle have gone on an outing together, Dorothy. Some changes are about to be made. Ha, ha, ha! The whole world shall become Elmo's world, Mr. Noodle. Yes, Elmo, first it was the children, and now it's the world. It's "Elmo's World -- The Motion Picture," brought to you by the numbers 13 and 666. I'm just not buying this whole "Elmo is the anti-christ" angle. What is the Children's Television Network coming to?

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FPD is the foremost plague on discussion boards. Do your part to stomp out FPD.

CC 111 , or 112. I think i stopped caring. by Kevin_Keegans_Perm 4-03-02

In a world where comedy was once king. Something went horribly wrong , and apathy took over. Stripcreator presents " CC 112. Out of ideas , and not giving a shit anymore" If we leave now , we can sneak into Monsters Inc next door.

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"Life Sucks, Then you Die. The bit inbetween isnt very funny either"

CC111: Koyaanisqatsi (Stomach out of Balance) by israphael 4-03-02

In a world where man's handiwork has displaced nature's beauty... Cinematographer Godfrey Reggio and Composer Phillip Glass bring you... Koyaanisqatsi. For God Sake! Will someone stop this movie before I have a nervous breakdown!

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"Nothing expresses the brutal grandeur of rectal polyps and anal fistulae quite like the mother-tongue of Goethe."

CC 111: Accept No Substitutes by kaufman 4-04-02

In a world where Asian film pirates make inexpensive ripoffs of American blockbusters as soon as one of them hears the title ... No, please don't take me; I'm too young to die! Relax. I don't want to kill you, I just want to give you a kiss! You've got to help me, doctor. I've got no energy, and I have these big sores around my lips. Ok, let me give you a few tests. It was inevitable that they would be foisting DEATH TOO SMOOCHY on us. Well, Doc, what's the story? You have mononucleosis and herpes simplex 1. Haven't I told you to lay off the promiscuous kissing?

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

CC111: Emily Bronte's "Wirthling Heights" by israphael 4-04-02

In a world where American audiences equated English accents with classy movies... Ivory Merchant is proud to present a classic tale of love and obsession... full of boring conversations interspersed by long shots of the English countryside. Maybe this time they'll show us Helena Bonham Carter's tits. Is that too much to ask?

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"Nothing expresses the brutal grandeur of rectal polyps and anal fistulae quite like the mother-tongue of Goethe."

An alternate ending to the last strip as I couldn't decide which punchline to use.

CC111: Emily Bronte's "Wirthling Heights" by israphael 4-04-02

In a world where American audiences equated English accents with classy movies... Ivory Merchant is proud to present a classic tale of love and obsession... full of boring conversations interspersed by long shots of the English countryside. I bet it sucks.

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"Nothing expresses the brutal grandeur of rectal polyps and anal fistulae quite like the mother-tongue of Goethe."

CC111: Tobor (The Movie) by israphael 4-04-02

In a world where pollution and disease have decimated the population... Mr Billings, your physical is almost over. All I need to do is palpate your prostate. robots have taken over society's more arduous and unpleasant tasks. What do you mean? Like stick a finger up my ass and poke around? However, some like their jobs more than others. Yes. I suppose some people do it that way.

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"Nothing expresses the brutal grandeur of rectal polyps and anal fistulae quite like the mother-tongue of Goethe."

Don't you hate when this happens? by kaufman 4-04-02

In a world ... literally .... Is anybody there? Help! Let me out of here! Hey! The film broke. Projectionist! Wake up!

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

CC111: My Fawn Has Diarrhea! by israphael 4-04-02

In a world where the usual remedies don't work... I've tried everything... Kaopectate... Pepto Bismol... Milk of Magnesia... Imodium. *Gurgle Gurgle* one man is pushed to the edge. Doc, I'm at my wits end! What shall I do? Have you considered using a big cork? Walt Disney brings you a heartwarming story for the whole family. Oh my God! Not on the carpet! *SQUIRT*

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"Nothing expresses the brutal grandeur of rectal polyps and anal fistulae quite like the mother-tongue of Goethe."

CC111: Submitted For Your Approval by israphael 4-04-02

In a world with a large continent peppered by bustling cities, one of which has a busy highway leading out to the suburbs and passing by a apartment complex... is an apartment on the second floor, past the elevators and the janitor's closet, where in the bedroom that is directly connected to the dining area... in the top left drawer of the night stand, underneath the porn magazines and condoms that lie beneath the socks, is another world that... FOR GOD'S SAKE, SHUT UP! JUST SHUT UP ALREADY!!!

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"Nothing expresses the brutal grandeur of rectal polyps and anal fistulae quite like the mother-tongue of Goethe."

CC 111: There is no spoon by zapiski 4-05-02

In a world of constant choices ... Morfeus?!? Yo, take red pill to fly away or take the blue viagra to make me happy .... where nothing is what it seems .... What is there, a white rabbit I am to follow? ... even with broken leg she kicks ass Hey, Keanu, it hurts! MATRIX 2. At cinemas soon.

Damn overrated film. Also, I saw that Blade 2, and it's crap. If I can give anyone one piece of advice, it would be "Don't see Blade 2".

Although the worst film I have ever sat through at the pictures was Final Fantasy. I actually came out of the cinema feeling angry.

Well, I've just confirmed that being away for an extended period of time doesn't make me any funnier.

CC111: Pantz by descolada99 4-05-02

In a world where pants toil in a totalitarian society, one pair decides to make a difference.. Where are my pants? ..A rebel breaking from the ranks of the pants to win the love of his life. Where are my pants? From Wetdreamworks JLo comes this summer's newest animated feature - Pantz. Where are my pants?!

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"Fascist Clay was my most favorite totalitarian boxer!" - Indie Rock Pete from Diesel Sweeties

Spain In The Neck by TheElPaso 4-05-02

In a world run by monsters, where terror runs rampant and nothing remains the same... Oh dear god, don't shoot! In a world where you can run out of tequila... What's happening to me? It's a disease known as sobriety, quick, to the... HISPANIC ROOM! Opening tomorrow. Ay chihuahua, you made it in time, essa.

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My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can't hold it in. -Weird Al Yankovic

CC 111: Timmy Saves Christmas by BigEvilDan 4-05-02

In a world devoid of magic... I'm so depressed. I wish something special would happen to me. ...one boy will discover the true spirit of Christmas. Holy crap! Santa just fell out of the sky. Hello Timmy. I seem to have lost Rudolph in a sleigh crash. Will you help me find him? Obtaining material goods. That depends, pops. Is there an X-Box under my tree tonight?

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"Oh, look, a joke! How original! Thank you, but if I wanted my emotions stimulated pleasurably, I'd get a whore." - Donald B. Jones III

Okay, let's put this freakshow to bed. The nominees for Winner of CC 111 are...

crabby--Civil War In Hell
I would totally pay to see Civil War In Hell.

Big Evil Dan--Made From 100% Recycled Plots
French terrorists make me smile.

Namgubed--Trailer Trash
"How much will this car repair cost?" "An arm...and a leg!"

boorite--Here's a mystery...five bucks for Milk Duds?
Word. Shitty cartoon becomes shitty movie. Film at eleven.

NeoVid: Now that's (not) entertainment
Kevin Keegans Perm--I think I stopped caring
Damn, this contest idea wasn't that bad, was it?

DexX--Punning Soon...
kaufman--Accept No Substitutes
TheElPaso--Spain In The Neck
These made me want to physically hurt their creators, as all good puns should.

israphael--Wirthling Heights
Obviously you've never seen Wings of the Dove.

And the winner is.....

CC 111: Made From 100% Recycled Plots by BigEvilDan 4-02-02

In a world filled with explosives and flammable things... ...one man wages war against hundreds of dumbass terrorists. I heard a noise. Go check everything, but not the vents. It couldn't possibly be someone in the vents. Right away, boss. This summer, KKP stars in "Hard Die", "Police Cop", "Demolition Guy", "Hard Die 2" and "Building Go Boom" The French terrorists are all dead! Now we can get married! I thought they were German terrorists? Or was that last week?

No, not the vents! Never the vents!

It's all you, B.E. And until then, the balcony is closed.