Choose your own Bradventure by Game_Master 6-08-02

You are Brad. You live alone. You are fast asleep when a sound awakens you. You don't remember what the sound was, but it must have been pretty loud since you're a heavy sleeper. Do you listen, or turn on the light and look?

I'll listen.

---
Batman created by Bob Kane

I just realised that leads to this.....
(i'm very stupid)

You listen by Game_Master 6-08-02

You listen intently and are rewarded by silence. Then, suddenly, you hear a soft hissing. No... whispering. It's definitely whispering. Psh washish shshi washish ti spesp washsh spshwashsi. --Turn on the light and confront whoever it is.............. --Leave the light off and try to sneak away..............

I'll leave the light off and try to bugger away.

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Batman created by Bob Kane

This is actually what I was testing for. My theory? Someone was an idiot, and trying to shoot brad in the dark. Turning on the light gave them the chance to see what they were shooting at.

I agree though that it kinda blows that timing seems to have nothing to do with the results of the actions.

Yeah, but you didn't know that there was someone trying to do the shootery until you had committed to the choice. If there was some kind of clue that there may have been someone in the room before the decision to switch on the light was made, it would have been a lot fairer.

You leave the light off and try to sneak away by Game_Master 6-10-02

You leave the light off, push the blankets away, and gently start to rise from your bed, doing your best to keep quiet. SCREEEECH Unfortunately, your old box spring doesn't cooperate. You hear shuffling behind you and the next thing you know, your light is on. A bullet tears off an unimportant part of your ear. Your eyes scan frantically. The bathroom is 10 feet away, but has no other exit. The hallway is 20 feet away. --Which do you make a run for?

ooh the bathroom! the bathroom!

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Batman created by Bob Kane

You run for the bathroom by Game_Master 6-11-02

Any port in a storm, you figure, and lunge towards the bathroom. A foot from the door, a bullet takes more unimportant ear mass. You slam the door, lock it, and turn on the light. Bullets come flying through the door, so you throw yourself into the tub and begin wetting yourself. It's cramped since your pet priest is already seeking safety there, but he doesn't seem to mind. You suddenly have the urge to brush.--Go brush your teeth..............--Continue wetting yourself...... Purrrrrrrr.

I'll keep wetting myself.

---
Batman created by Bob Kane

You continue wetting yourself by Game_Master 6-12-02

You continue wetting yourself and come to realize it's not an altogether unpleasant feeling. Marco! Polo! But just as you're starting to enjoy it, the shooting stops, which restores your continence. purrrrrrrrrrr --Get up and move closer to listen....................................... --Look for something to defend yourself with............................

get up and listen

---
Batman created by Bob Kane

You move closer to the door and listen by Game_Master 6-12-02

You get out of the tub and inch closer to the door. Boss say he want him alive! He just so shootable! Then silence. You put your pulpy ear closer, but as you do the door comes flying open. Knocking you unconscious.

You come to in a pitch black room by Game_Master 6-12-02

You come to in a pitch black room, your head throbbing. You move around a bit and realize you are lying on the floor, your wrists handcuffed in front of you. --Whine about your throbbing head --Stand up and feel your way around --Take this opportunity to realize your lifelong dream of masturbating in a pitch black room while handcuffed by kidnappers

I'll take this opportunity to realize my lifelong dream of masturbating in a pitch black room while handcuffed by kidnappers.

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Batman created by Bob Kane

You start touching yourself by Game_Master 6-13-02

You start touching yourself, probing your squishy fun-fun land. Hey there, sailor. How about buying a girl a drink and then brutally fucking her in the ass? You're about to climax when Ewww! He touching nasty man-ness, look! You rewrap squishy fun-fun land and wonder how anyone can see you in such darkness. As you wipe your brow with your arm and feel the blindfold. --Take off the blindfold --Ask why you've been kidnapped

take off ze blindfold.

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Batman created by Bob Kane

Apologies for the delay.

You start taking off the blindfold by Game_Master 6-14-02

You start taking off the blindfold when a hand grabs your arm. It squeezes hard for a moment and then lets go. A deep voice bellows I wouldn't do that if I were you. --Leave the blindfold on and ask why you've been kidnapped................................ --Take off the blindfold to show Mr. Deep Bellows he ain't the boss of you............................ --Say, "Me, take off this blindfold? Nuh uh. Nope, not me. No chance.", whistle for awhile, and then take off the blindfold................................... --Ask him to say "This is CNN"...........

i'll ask him to say this is CNN.

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Batman created by Bob Kane

This......is CNN by Game_Master 6-14-02

Could you say "This is CNN"? This......is CNN. Goosebumps! Again! Again! This......is lava. And it was.

Player 4, The Game is yours.

I'll take the seemingly safe option:

--Leave the blindfold on and ask why you've been kidnapped................................

---
"And Wirthling isn't worth the paper he isn't printed on."

You ask why you've been kidnapped by Game_Master 6-14-02

Why have you kidnapped me? To fulfill my lifelong dream of masturbating while watching a blindfolded guy whose missing part of his ear have molten lava poured on him! I'd hate to be that sad bastard. Pour the lava, Hench Wench One! --Scream like a seven-year-old girl and again wet yourself....... --Take off the blindfold............ --Run now....... --Fulfill your lifelong dream of masturbating while molten lava is poured on you

Once again, I'll take the seemingly safe option...

Fulfill your lifelong dream of masturbating while molten lava is poured on you

---
"And Wirthling isn't worth the paper he isn't printed on."

that's safe?
that's how I died only I wasn't masturbating.

---
Batman created by Bob Kane

You start touching yourself by Game_Master 6-14-02

Hey there, sailor. How about buying DEAR JESUS AND GOD THE FATHER IN HEAVEN, HELP ME, SAILOR!!!!!! FUCKING-A, SHIT A NEW SPECIES OF MONKEYS, HELP MEEEEEE!!!!!!

Player 5, The Game is yours.

Wait, molten lava is bad? I love molten lava with caramel. No, wait--I was thinking of ice cream, not lava. Oops.

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"And Wirthling isn't worth the paper he isn't printed on."

You continue wetting yourself by Game_Master 6-12-02

You continue wetting yourself and come to realize it's not an altogether unpleasant feeling. Marco! Polo! But just as you're starting to enjoy it, the shooting stops, which restores your continence. purrrrrrrrrrr --Get up and move closer to listen....................................... --Look for something to defend yourself with............................

Look for something to defend myself with. Let's see if we can avoid death by lava.

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

You look for something to defend yourself with by Game_Master 6-15-02

You look around, desperate to find anything of assistance in your sparse bathroom. Only three things jump out: a small shoebox-size window, a glob of shaving cream in the sink, and your pet priest, Tooshy McFinklebee. --Use the window.................... --Use the shaving cream.......... --Use Tooshy........................... --Use some combination.......... **scratch scratch scratch**