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Well, first of all, the only heartless bastard you need to fear in THIS contest is ME, since I am Lord and God of CC27. However, no, I don't penalize for spelling, because I myself am a spell-checker-dependent Pathological Misspeller.

That sometimes conflicts with my persuit of being the world's biggest pedantic fuck, but the one who ultimately gaimes from this is YOU with no penalties for typos or spelling errors.

...Dispite the fact that the word is spelled correctly over and over again in THIS VERY FOLDER. Putz.

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It had been over a day since I last looked at this thread when I decided to make the comic. Story: I thought it was "intersice", and when I looked it up, I couldn't find it. So I assumed it was "intercise".

And the moral of this story: INTERSTICE TOOTHPASTE CONFETTI!!!! HA! HA! HA! WHAT DO I WIN?!?!?

No, English majors do this...

"What ho, old boy! Looks like you've had you leg off my a dratted old landmine. Oh, of all the darned-bad luck. Never mind, my good chap, we'll slap a wooden leg on the stump, and you'll be able to jolly-well go over the top of the trench and assault the enemy gun-placements with all the other Australian fellows. Tally-ho!"

Have I mentioned that Aussies can hold a grudge for so long that it actually gets passed from one generation to the next?

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This signature has performed an illegal operation and has been shut down.

Not to put too fine of a point on it, but, speaking of pretentious blather: WTF is a Caramel Macchiatto? Is that like, coffee? Art fag coffee? Yuppie coffee? If you really like coffee, go to Key West, turn left off of the main drag onto White St. and stop at the Cuban sandwich shop in the laundromat. They make the best bucce in the universe.

Love,

bunner

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I wanted my half in the middle and I wound up on the edge.

It's a drink that Starbuck's makes. It's basically a latte with a shot of vanilla and a bunch of real caramel (not that "caramel-flavored" syrup crap) drizzled over the top. I'll occasionally settle for a caramel macchiatto when I don't have enough time to go to a Cuban sandwich shop in Key West before work.

Yes, I like Starbuck's. There's yet another reason for the world to hate me, I suppose...

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"And Wirthling isn't worth the paper he isn't printed on."

CC 27: Blow toothpaste confetti out your ass interstice by boorite 5-03-01

Time for your lab practical. What's the interstice between cells filled with? Toothpaste? Brylcreem? Tofu? Nope. Interstitial fluid. Now, what's this a slide of? Confetti? Nut hairs? Nougat? Bat vomit? Maybe you should major in American Studies. I've got it: It's a granita latte!

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What others say about boorite!

No, English majors do this...

"What ho, old boy! Looks like you've had you leg off my a dratted old landmine. Oh, of all the darned-bad luck. Never mind, my good chap, we'll slap a wooden leg on the stump, and you'll be able to jolly-well go over the top of the trench and assault the enemy gun-placements with all the other Australian fellows. Tally-ho!"

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I only have one thing to say to that, as the English person.. grrr.

WE ARE NOT ALL WORLD WAR ONE PILOTS WHO SPEAK LIKE THAT, AND HATE ALL AUSTRALIANS. Grr. I do hate the entire casts of 'Home and Away' and 'Neighbours', tho. But that's just natural.

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MatthewEastaugh | He wanders.

For real fun, try Starbuck's new Ex-Latte: Six shots of espresso topped off with a steamed and foamy brand-name laxative! Really puts the "express" in espresso.

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What others say about boorite!

Stop! Winner time.

It is now Thursday-ish. I will now declare a winner, but first I will prattle on about my opinion of the entries as if anyone actually gives a goose spooge about it. Not that you can't see the big bloody comic at the bottom of this post already.

So I'll keep it short. I really liked the entries from descolada99b, bunnerabb, evil_d, and boorite. Y'all did a great job of taking my difficult and near-random rules and making them into something funny.

The runner up is wirthling. Damn, I thought I was going to have to make you the winner again. Fortunately, this one came along not too long after, and I declare this one to be the winner:

CC 27 - Score some Blow (first try) by Braze 5-02-01

What the... this isn't a thing like you. You've cleaned up; your hair is clean, you brushed your teeth with real toothpaste... what the hell is going on? I'm going to a party tonight! ... ah. You mean a "confetti, drinks and happy" type party, or a "dog suffocated with rubber tubing" type party? Uh, neither really. More a "pretentious art faggot" party. I will "narrow the intercise within my demographic". ... So basically you're going there to score some blow. Don't forget my overwhelming thirst for ass!

I just love the concept of a "'dog suffocated with rubber tubing' type party," and plan to have one at my own house very soon. wirthling is invited to play the role of "dog."

NOW a reminder -- since Braze's first comic is less than 5 days old he may not know -- the winner (that's you, Braze) is now responisible for making the rules for CC28, starting the folder, setting a deadline, and judging it. ALL BY YOURSELF, JUST LIKE A BIG BOY! Dispite the fact you can't spell a word that's been posted on the same page 400 million times. THree cheers for autocracy! Take it away, B.

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"Old" is the old new.

quote:

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WE ARE NOT ALL WORLD WAR ONE PILOTS WHO SPEAK LIKE THAT, AND HATE ALL AUSTRALIANS.

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Quite right, guvnah...

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"And Wirthling isn't worth the paper he isn't printed on."

http://www.stripcreator.com/view.php?ID=13871
...written with the invaluable assistance of Jeeves from askJeeves.com

If the bloke doesn't claim the right to start a new contest within the next seven days, seeing as the runner up is hated by pretty much every one, and I'm also new (and I'm English also), can I set the rules for #28? Pretty please?

Just to keep the spirit of the old British Empire going, you understand.

Despite my comic being poo on a stick.

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MatthewEastaugh | He wanders.

quote:

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If the bloke doesn't claim the right to start a new contest within the next seven days, seeing as the runner up is hated by pretty much every one, and I'm also new (and I'm English also), can I set the rules for #28? Pretty please?

Just to keep the spirit of the old British Empire going, you understand.

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Jolly good idea! What ho!

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What others say about boorite!

quote:

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seeing as the runner up is hated by pretty much every one,
quote]

We don't hate wirthling. You misunderstand. This is a sort of.... erm.... intervention to get him to deal with his suckiness. Only true friends would work this hard to bring a fellow to his senses.

bunner

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I wanted my half in the middle and I wound up on the edge.

Everyone is just jealous of how much I suck.

Believe me, it is a heavy burden I must carry - it's not as easy as it looks! It has taken years of intense training and exhaustive study to reach the pinnacle of lameness. I have a black belt in snarky fu and am a certified Master Smirking Fuck.

I wear your scorn as a buttplug of honor.

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"And Wirthling isn't worth the paper he isn't printed on."

Joy!

I will post the guidelines later tonight, after I've had time to think.

I don't hate Wirthling really either. (being honest, I *don't actually think he's that bad*). It's just 'something to do' though, isn't it?

Which, incidentally, is the same thing he said when.. nah, can't do it. Too easy. And rubbish.

Anyway, oi! Winner bloke! I'll slip you a fiver if you let me do the rules. Please? Go on. I'm desperate. And I'm also crap at comics, so I'll never win one fairly.

Failing that, force them all to use the killer squirrel from kofightclub. Just to be evil, you understand. The penguin is quite nasty too...

Anyway, just a suggestion. Which you WILL OBEY, of course.

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MatthewEastaugh | He wanders.

While I'm in the mood for evilness..

Surely you mean DESPITE, dear Scyess?
http://www.dictionary.com/cgi-bin/dict.pl?term=despite

Excuse me, it's late, I've had a bad day, and I'm all cranky. And I'm good at spotting irony. Plus, I'm stuck reading this thread.. the 100+ posts in the religiony one just scare me.

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MatthewEastaugh | He wanders.

I fart in your general direction!

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"And Wirthling isn't worth the paper he isn't printed on."

quote:

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Anyway, oi! Winner bloke! I'll slip you a fiver if you let me do the rules. Please? Go on. I'm desperate. And I'm also crap at comics, so I'll never win one fairly.

Failing that, force them all to use the killer squirrel from kofightclub. Just to be evil, you understand. The penguin is quite nasty too...

Anyway, just a suggestion. Which you WILL OBEY, of course.

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If you want, you can make the rules. You must have a good idea, seeing as you are so itching to make the rules, whereas I have only a mean spirit and a stomach filled with gin. If by "stomach filled with gin" you mean "MONOLITHIC DESIRE FOR LESBIAN PORNOGRAPHY".

...Also I want to enter the next contest. I like having guidelines. If by some bizarre coincidence I happen to win again (NO EVIL INVOLVED) I will have rules ideas by then. Right now I'm just holding up the train.

Also also, I AM CANADIAN THAT MAKES YOU MY KING OR POSSIBLY QUEEN OR MAYBE BOTH. I HEAR YOUR ROYAL DECREE AND I FOLLOW.

Curiouser and curiouser.

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I ate a hooker half a bottle of knife.

quote:

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Also also, I AM CANADIAN THAT MAKES YOU MY KING OR POSSIBLY QUEEN OR MAYBE BOTH. I HEAR YOUR ROYAL DECREE AND I FOLLOW.

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Just cause yer Canadian doesnt mean you can't pick up some hockey sticks, get a backbone, and kick her Majesty's Limey ass to the curb. Not to mention her alfred e neuman reject son.

Then again, I'd take the royal family over the clintons or al gore any day.

ALL HAIL JUNKYARD WARS!!!!!
p.s. Get rid of that annoying as hell american guy thats hosting the third season.

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At least im still funny .....looking. http://www.carrionfields.com

Yeah it is.

:- /

bunner

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I wanted my half in the middle and I wound up on the edge.

quote:

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Just cause yer Canadian doesnt mean you can't pick up some hockey sticks, get a backbone, and kick her Majesty's Limey ass to the curb. Not to mention her alfred e neuman reject son.

Then again, I'd take the royal family over the clintons or al gore any day.

ALL HAIL JUNKYARD WARS!!!!!
p.s. Get rid of that annoying as hell american guy thats hosting the third season.

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Us Canadians don't have time to kick limeys around; we're too busy getting needlessly involved in other people's wars. Yes, Junkyard wars are good. Except that since TV makes me want to put forks into things (such as my eyes) I have sworn it off entirely. This includes the rare bit of decent programming.

Confidential to Bunnerabb: Ah, how familiar are the words "crackhead". Nothing sweetens my day like being woken up by a chorus of "HEY CRACKHEAD!" "WHAT'S THAT? LISTERINE?!?" and "GET OFF MY DAMN LAWN BEFORE I CALL THE POLICE."

You seem British. I've been there thrice. Last time didn't go too well, though. I thought it would be patriotic to run up and down the streets at four AM, lustily singing "God Save the Queen" whilst occasionally blasting a note or two on a kazoo*.

*note: the police did not find this patriotic

Surely you mean DESPITE, dear Scyess?

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Oh yeah? Show me ONE PLACE in this folder where someone used the word "despite." (And I don't count, because I probably spelled it wrong then, too.)

And don't worry about winning a contest. Maybe someone will have a "low hand" sort of least-funny-comic-wins sort of contest. I can't imagine keeping the CC ideas fresh into, say, CC100.

(Will gabe_billings try extra hard to win that one?)

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"Old" is the old new.

Yay, I get to make the rules! Woohoo! It's a shame I only have a couple of ideas though. Tell ya what, I've got two ideas. I'll dash over now, and make my incredibly crap ones better in the process by adding a further evil one.

And thank you oh kind Braze, for caving into my requests. £5 in the post.. but you have to pay the postage. And I don't know your address, so you'll have to find the money in the wonderful postal system. But if you can, it's yours.

Erm.. wish me luck. This is very tense for me. I have responsibility for once... ARGH.

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MatthewEastaugh | He wanders.