Awful, truly awful.

snerk.

Dunno, why you weren't on my favourites list. Great bunch of serieseses.

Makes me think I should really pull my finger out my ass and make one.

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Dad was flammable

A highly improbable time-travelling accident to which no self-respecting science fiction writer would have signed his name (see the second series). The Potential Lad from the first series is now living about a year in the past, before he ever became Potential Lad, and his past counterpart has arrived in the present and had all this superhero business thrust upon him. He's the same person, genetically speaking, but he has no experience with crimefighting and no desire to start, and only stays at the Retro-cave because he can't go home (see latest series).

What happened over the course of the missing year to change that angry, angst-ridden teenager into an idealistic super-sidekick? Why doesn't the Potential Lad who was sent into the past simply show up at the Retro-cave in the present to sort things out? These questions and more will all be answered if I ever decide to write a series about them.

Potential Lad is actually my favorite character here. If I make another series, I'd like to have him figure more prominently in it. But I don't know whether I want to keep the current sarcastic and unwilling Potential Lad (more opportunities for derogatory humor), or to somehow bring back the original starry-eyed sidekick (more opportunities for satire of Golden Age comics, not that I've ever read any). I guess I could do both, but the limit of two characters per panel kind of makes that difficult.

You can tell the two Potential Lads apart by the color of their sweatshirts. The angsty one wears blue. I'd like to pretend that I was already planning for the future when I chose a character that was available in two sets of clothing, but in fact it was a happy accident.

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The what mentioned above is total fiction. Please don't take it seriously!

Retroactive Man & Potential Lad in: The Enemy is Us (1/6) by evil_d 4-28-09

Quickly, to action! The mayor will have been about to call us to have us come prevent the crime that we will have prevented before he can have called us about it! Christ on a carp, Retroactive Man, I can't wait until somebody drops an anvil on you or something. Ah-ah-ah, Potential Lad. What have we been talking about? *sigh*... I might not be able to wait until somebody drops an anvil on you. That's more like it! Now, to the Retromobile!

Retroactive Man & Potential Lad in: The Enemy is Us (2/6) by evil_d 4-28-09

Okay, apparently this office building is the crime scene. So what's the plan? I've just used my retro-powers to travel a short while into the past and lay mines in the building, for when the crooks arrive. *BOOM!* *KA-BOOM!* And, uh, what's the disaster that we're here to prevent? Something about explosions in an office building. ...aaaannnddd... you're not even capable of making this connection on your own, are you? You're Potential Lad -- you tell me!

Retroactive Man & Potential Lad in: The Enemy is Us (3/6) by evil_d 4-28-09

...look, it's simple. Your retro-power let you go back in time and set those mines in the first place. Just use the same power to go back a little farther and stop yourself from ever doing it. I've never tried it... but, as Potential Lad, believing in people's potential is your super-power! So if you think I can do it, I must be able to! Sure, whatever. Just try it already. Okay! Here I go! Nnnnnnggh.... *POP* Jesus Christ, you're an idiot.

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The what mentioned above is total fiction. Please don't take it seriously!

Retroactive Man & Potential Lad in: The Enemy is Us (4/6) by evil_d 4-28-09

Well this is a fine mess! I aged backwards but didn't actually travel back in time! How can I save the day in this condition? Hang on, hang on, I'll think of something. ...okay, I've got it. What about if you go back in time and prevent yourself from— NO.

Retroactive Man & Potential Lad in: The Enemy is Us (5/6) by evil_d 4-28-09

Hey, kid, we've got to put out a fire in this building. You'd better take that ugly baby of yours home to its unwed teenage mother. Oh, uh, sure thing, mister. *snicker* Zip it!

Retroactive Man & Potential Lad in: The Enemy is Us (6/6) by evil_d 4-28-09

So you blew up a building for no good reason and turned yourself into a baby. I wish every day around here was this awesome. Let's call it a learning experience and move on. At least my body's back to normal! I was going to ask how you managed that. I gave a hooker $20 and told her to make a man out of me! Isn't that illegal, medically risky, and cartoonishly absurd? Herpes and surrealism are a small price to pay in the name of justice!

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The what mentioned above is total fiction. Please don't take it seriously!

Retroactive Man & Potential Lad Under the Sea (1/9) by evil_d 2-15-10

To arms, Potential Lad! I've received a distress call from my old ally Waterdude, king of the undersea city of Pacifis! Wait—you have received it? Don't you usually act on calls before you get them because of your impossible powers? Waterdude is kind of a jerk, to tell you the truth. Stole my foosball table back in college. So... how long have you been sitting on this? Couple of weeks. You're starting to grow on me, Retroactive Man.

Retroactive Man & Potential Lad Under the Sea (2/9) by evil_d 2-15-10

Anyway, how are we supposed to get to this underwater kingdom? We'll take the Retro-sub! Are you kidding me? You have a fucking submarine? Why have I never heard about this before? It doesn't come up much. Fine—I'm in. But I get to fire the torpedoes. To the Retro-sub!

Retroactive Man & Potential Lad Under the Sea (3/9) by evil_d 2-15-10

I can't help noticing that there's no scuba gear on this sub. No need for it! I can breathe underwater! It's a throwback to a time when our evolutionary ancestors still lived in the sea... I guess. And what about those of us who don't have your absurd and unbelievable powers? Uh... I don't know why I expect somebody called "Retroactive Man" to exercise any forethought. I'm sure you can help from inside the sub by... uh... analyzing the situation... repeatedly.

Retroactive Man & Potential Lad Under the Sea (4/9) by evil_d 2-15-10

Waterdude! I came as soon as I cared! What's the situation? Retroactive Man! Thank cod you're here! Pacifis is under siege by the ex-Nazi shark-mutant supervillain, Unterseeherr! Have you tried giving him Czechoslovakia? He told me he wouldn't negotiate with anyone who couldn't breathe underwater and then kicked me in the nuts. I have to admit, that helmet doesn't exactly boost your credibility. I'm only half merfolk, okay? My mother was from Cleveland! It's not my fault!

Retroactive Man & Potential Lad Under the Sea (5/9) by evil_d 2-15-10

Will you at least try to talk to Unterseeherr for me? Fine, lead the way. Is that kid you hang around with going to be okay on that sub by himself? He'll be fine. The on-board A.I. can keep him entertained. So can you play Pokémon on this shit, or what? I'm afraid I'm not programmed with any games. But my propeller-cleaning routines can be quite amusing!

 

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The what mentioned above is total fiction. Please don't take it seriously!

Retroactive Man & Potential Lad Under the Sea (6/9) by evil_d 2-15-10

Unterseeherr, you miscreant! It's time for your ass to annex my foot! We'll see about that, Retroactive Man! I'll make you wish you'd stayed high and dry! Hang on—I'm sorry, this isn't working for me. I mean, you're supposed to be German, but your English is too polished. Do you think you could pronounce your Ws as Vs and lapse into German for simple words that I'd be likely to understand? Nein!

Retroactive Man & Potential Lad Under the Sea (7/9) by evil_d 2-15-10

What's your game, anyway, Unterseeherr? Why do you want Pacifis? I want the whole ocean, you fool! When I control the world's waterways, I'll be able to divide and conquer the continents at my leisure! You know, the seas aren't as important as they used to be. Nowadays we mostly travel by airplane and communicate by satellite, so I don't think you— Lies and nonsense! You'll see, when I—oof! What the— Sorry. I retroactively decided not to listen to your drivel and just skip right to beating you up. Urrrrggh....

Retroactive Man & Potential Lad Under the Sea (8/9) by evil_d 2-15-10

And that's that! Let's go make sure none of your subjects were harmed in the attack. Oh... um... I'm sure they're all fine. Ah... how many subjects do you have here, anyway? Oh... thousands! Schools and schools of 'em! How many that aren't fish? ...counting myself?

Retroactive Man & Potential Lad Under the Sea (9/9) by evil_d 2-15-10

So in the end, you saved a kingdom of zero citizens from a guy who wouldn't have gotten what he wanted out of conquering it? That's about the size of it. Hey, I think your watery friend is chasing after us. He looks pretty mad. That may be because he's noticed his foosball table is missing. So is it time for me to fire those torpedoes now? Fire at will, Potential Lad, old chum. Fire at will.

 

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The what mentioned above is total fiction. Please don't take it seriously!

I gave this comic series a standing ovation.

Next time, I won't read comics on my iPhone at a funeral.

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peddling the funny around since 09/24/2002