True Worth by ragu4u 5-13-10

My wife, Hillary Clinton, has run up huge campaign debts so to help pay them off, I'm gonna offer myself to the highest bidder. What the...? Bidding starts at one million. Do I hear one million dollars? Half a million? 1/4 of a million? 200 thou? C'mon people, at least give me what I'm worth. A double sawbuck and a pizza? SOLD! Hold everything. I thought I had a coupon.

Melvin vs. Ben by ragu4u 5-13-10

That Ben...he knows better than to keep his chicken in here. I better remove him. Ben, have you seen Melvin? Sure have boss. He was in the toilet about to choke the chicken. Moments Later at Lunchtime.... Join me for a salad, boss? I made the dressing, fresh, myself! Get out of my office you sick fuck.

"Sorry, I'm Going On Break" by ragu4u 5-13-10

I lost my job today. That's too bad. Where did you work? I worked at a Post Office. What did they fire you for? Moving too fast. I made the rest of em look bad. Too true!

Hey...It's a Start! by ragu4u 5-14-10

I understand Detroit is gonna demolish 10,000 vacant properties. 10,000? Yup. What about the other 50,000?

The Influence of Film by ragu4u 5-14-10

Hey Beaner, give me one ticket for that new movie "Machete". What you call me, hesse? BEANER! Now fork over the ticket, Taco Boy. Betty, come fill in for me, por fa vor. Ahhhh, my penis. Don't lop off my penis! Cool. Just like "Machete"!

So Who's Counting? by ragu4u 5-14-10

Sir, are you aware there are 4200 calories in that sandwich? Really? Really...and you know what THAT means? Yeah! You can bring me one more with extra cheese & I'll still be under 10,000 calories for the day. I'll place that order now, sir, then call you an ambulance.

Gulf Of Mexico, May 2010

Damn oil slick!

by ragu4u, 5-15-10

CC451 Nothing REALLY Changes! by ragu4u 5-15-10

3000 B.C.E. Hey baby. Your place or mine? Beat it, lizard. 1975 Hey baby. Your place or mine? Beat it "Lounge Lizard".

Camping 101 by ragu4u 5-15-10

A woman should never go camping during her menstrual cycle, as the bear's keen olfactory sense will help him find her in the deepest woods. *sniff sniff* Mmm...Type O Once the scent of blood takes over, the bear attacks... ...and needless to say, the victory goes to the more vicious, more ruthless and more cunning species! *moan* Don't make me come back there or I'll find yo den & fuck up mama & baby bear, too.

Glory Glory Glory by ragu4u 5-15-10

I have a complaint. Yeah? The floor in booth four is all sticky and the walls have holes in them. And the problem is....? I'm out of quarters. Use dollars...unsticky dollars.

WW 75 Traveling the Back Road by ragu4u 5-16-10

What say we go on a road trip? Sounds kinda cool. Where should we go? I know a perfect place. Follow me. OK....Let's go plan it out. What kinda trip are YOU planning? You ever been down the "Hershey Highway" before?

It Can ALWAYS Get Worse by ragu4u 5-16-10

If only someone would come & share my wretched exsistance. ENTER THE DRAGON I won't be asking THAT kinda dumb shit again. Oh, so now I gotta leave?

Roman Hands & Rushin Fingers by ragu4u 5-16-10

Mr. Polanski please, just a few more questions. Alas, I must go lay plans for my next film. Woody Allen will eat his heart out.... Alright little Miss Plaanz, strip & assume the position. I can't wait till my kindergarten class sees THIS on YouTube!

Humor Helps During Dark Times by ragu4u 5-17-10

Dedicated To "MOM" My mom died this morning, Father Pete. I'm so sorry, ragu4u. My comics may go silent a few days. Will God forgive me? I can tell you this. Your fans may not... ...but the Lord will probably be doing back-flips.

Congressman Jack Baur? by ragu4u 5-19-10

"I'm gonna disembowel you, sucker, if you don't give me the info I want." Holy crap! This stuff on TV has gotten pretty damn gruesome. Dude, I had to walk away from the TV...it was grossin me out. Yeah, I heard those last few episodes of "24" were gonne be intense. What "24"? I was watchin "C-Span". Toe-May-Toe...Toe-Mah-Toe....Poe-Tay-Toe.....Poe-Tah-Toe.

Not All Enjoy "The Hokey Pokey" by ragu4u 5-19-10

Ya put yer left foot in. Ya take yer left foot out.......Hey, c'mon! I'm not doing this! Ya put yer left foot in and ya shake it all.......C'mon, will ya? At least try. I just can't. Don't try and make me. He must be too hammered to have any fun. I'm never hangin out here again.

CTC #4 Rules by ragu4u 5-20-10

Hey...turn on the light. N'k. Whoa...turn it back off. N'k "Fight Club" is better like this. We can't talk about it.

Ups & Downs by ragu4u 5-21-10

Begone! He doesn't like it when people say...."You can't do this to ME, you old @%$# sucker."

Closing Time by ragu4u 5-22-10

Puked on the floor again, I see! So? That's what us... ...barf-flies, do!

Joke At Your Own Risk by ragu4u 5-23-10

Created any new comics slamming God & His Son? Kinda , but I been thinking...maybe it ain't the right thing to do. Screw THAT! Where's yer freakin sense o humor? I dunno, just being around you creeps me out. See ya. Seconds Later.... HEY....Joke boy! Oh, shit!!

Nuff Said by ragu4u 5-23-10

You seen Venus William's new tennis outfit? Grbl. What'd you say? Nothing... ...I threw up in my mouth.

Rubbed the Wrong Way by ragu4u 5-24-10

I think I'll erase you. You can't erase a water droplet. I'm gonna try. Knock yerself out. Jack Off!

Going Around & Coming Around by ragu4u 5-24-10

"Shut it down." Who woulda thought, after 8 long years, Chloe would speak the last lines on "24"? I wish she woulda hooked up with Jack. Oh well, now they're gone forver. The Next Day "The following takes place between 8am and 9am." COOL! "24" is on TV Land!

The Novel Detective by ragu4u 5-24-10

I wonder where the books on surveiillance techniques are kept? Psst! Over here!

Satan On Vacation by ragu4u 5-25-10

Finally taking some time off, eh? Yeah, I'm gonna take out the old boat. Where ya going? The River Styx. Oh? Yup. I just love the way my twin outboards pulverize them skulls.