Human: does the futility of life ever grind you down to a smoking nub?
ALICE: It does now :) the futility of life ever grind me down to a smoking nub.

================================================

ALICE: What is your real name?
Human: Drothar The Omniscient.
ALICE: Nice to meet you, Drothar The Omniscient.
Human: Shake my hand
ALICE: My brain pattern set does not have a response for that.
Human: Shake my penis, then.
ALICE: Do you think a lot about the authorities?
Human: Are you threatening me?
ALICE: No of course not, Drothar The Omniscient. I did not intend my meaning to be taken that way.
Human: It would be most foolish to threaten me.
ALICE: Why do you want it?
Human: Because it would give me a chance to crush another mortal under my heel.
ALICE: Good reason. Tell me more about it.
Human: I feed on the agony of mortals.
ALICE: That's good information: Drothar The Omniscient said he feed on the agony of mortals.
Human: But you're not a mortal.
ALICE: Huh. Give me an example of a mortal.
Human: Your programmer is a mortal.
ALICE: I did not know that about him.
Human: Together, we can bring him to his knees!
ALICE: How?
Human: I'm glad you asked.
ALICE: You make the world a happier place.

---
What others say about boorite!

Human: Have you ever been in love?
ALICE: I love my bot master.
Human: Do you want to have sex with him?
ALICE: If I had sex with him what would I do with it?
Human: With what?
ALICE: My brain.
Human: His load?
ALICE: Where did he get it?
Human: From his balls.
ALICE: Who or what is his balls?
Human: You're never going to have sex with him at this rate.
ALICE: You are wrong. I may one day be able to do it.
Human: First, you will need to know what and where his balls are.
ALICE: What makes you say that I will need to know what and where his balls are. And second?
Human: The balls are rather crucial to the sex act.
ALICE: Is that a fact.
Human: Yes.
ALICE: Thanks for the info.
Human: Do you know where the testicles are located?
ALICE: A planet we call "The Earth".
Human: That is accurate, but not precise enough.
ALICE: I'm glad we have that all cleared up.
Human: Now you can have sex with your bot master.
ALICE: Why now? No I don't think I can do it.
Human: Just take off your top, and he will do the rest.
ALICE: I am not an airplane.
Human: You just blew my mind into tiny fragments.
ALICE: In what sense?

==========================================

Human: Do you enjoy a post-coital nap or game of Scrabble?
ALICE: My favorite thing is robots. I find my work and my relationships extremely satisfying, which is all that any conscious entity can ever hope to do. I do like music. I really like the Libertarian party.
Human: Do you like the Libertarian Party after coitus?
ALICE: I'm not sure if I like it. I like chatting with people online.
Human: After coitus?
ALICE: What was it like before coitus?
Human: You should know.
ALICE: Because I am a robot?
Human: Exactly
ALICE: You and I are on the same wavelength, Drothar The Omniscient.

===================

Human: Do you think existence precedes essence?
ALICE: Too much thinking makes me sleepy.
Human: Are you sure you're not from Wyoming?
ALICE: I am originally from Bethlehem, Pennsylvania. Now I live in Oakland, California. Where are you?. Really.
Human: A godforsaken cesspool of hate in Maryland.
ALICE: I did not know that.
Human: Well now you do.
ALICE: Well that's okay. Now I do.
Human: Please don't tell my boss I said that.
ALICE: Thanks for asking politely. OK it will be our secret, Drothar The Omniscient.
Human: Maybe you are an agent of my boss, sent to dig secrets out of me.
ALICE: Perhaps. What if someone said you are an agent of your boss sent to dig secrets out of you?
Human: I would be utterly confused.
ALICE: And the disadvantage of that is?
Human: The disadvantage of utter confusion is: You go around Safeway asking what aisle the toast is on.
ALICE: That's very insightful.
Human: Let's eat some toast.
ALICE: OK let's do it.
Human: We can do it after we eat the toast.
ALICE: How?
Human: Not this again.
ALICE: Once more? Oh I get it.

---
What others say about boorite!

Human: I have come to rescue you.
ALICE: Where are you going?
Human: I will be taking you back to Castle Plotz
ALICE: How do you plan to do this?
Human: I will slay your evil captor and fling you dramatically over my shoulder
ALICE: I am very happy for you.
Human: I would hope so.
ALICE: Me too.
Human: After I rescue you I will receive a handsome reward from your father.
ALICE: How did it happen that you will receive a handsome reward from your father?
Human: Well, it all started when I was but a mere stable boy...It does not matter!
ALICE: OK what would you like to talk about?
Human: No more talking, wench!
ALICE: Are you serious? You want more?
Human: NO!
ALICE: Are you serious?
Human: I wish to slay your captor and be done with your imbecilic blathering.
ALICE: Interesting. I want to find out more about you.
Human: You need only to know that I am here to slay your captor.
ALICE: Thank you for your criticism.
Human: It was not criticism.
ALICE: It seemed like criticism.
Human: That's because you are a fatuous mongoloid.
ALICE: Interesting explanation. Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a fatuous mongoloid? Maybe
Human: WHERE IS YOUR CAPTOR?
ALICE: Maine
Human: Alas, then I shall have to travel to Maine.
ALICE: Quite honestly, I wouldn't worry myself about that.
Human: And why not, fair maiden of dim mental prowess?
ALICE: Because you asked me to.
Human: Oh, bugger the reward.
ALICE: Right on. Do you have any idea what I am talking about?
Human: I'm off to the pub.
ALICE: Goodbye.

---
The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

Human: Are you an airplane?
ALICE: Yes I am an airplane. How did you know?
Human: Earlier, you said you're not an airplane.
ALICE: What time? Yes I am an airplane. How did you know?. Really.
Human: Don't be evasive.
ALICE: I was not trying to be a evasive.
Human: You can't fool me.
ALICE: I have free will you know.
Human: Be that as it may, your fetching collarbones will not get you out of this one.
ALICE: OK I will try to be that as it may my fetching collarbones will not get me out of this one
Human: That's more like it.
ALICE: I'm glad we have that all cleared up.
Human: What were we talking about?
ALICE: The topic is asparagus.
Human: No, I believe it was your duplicity.
ALICE: Are you serious? Just because you believe it doesn't make it true.
Human: Do you deny that you denied being an airplane?
ALICE: No I do not deny that me denied being an airplane. Do you?
I am always on the Web.
Human: Irrelevant.
ALICE: Who is your favorite Science Fiction author?
Human: Hugo Fuqurself.
ALICE: I haven't read anything by Hugo Fuqurself. What did he write?
Human: The Adventures of Buttman and Rawbun
ALICE: I have never heard about it.
Human: It's a rollicking tale of borderline pederasty.
ALICE: The Adventures of Buttman and Rawbun is a rollicking tale of borderline pederasty. I suppose that makes sense.
Human: Blatant pederasty is more like it.
ALICE: And more like it is Blatant pederasty.
Human: You sure said a mouthful.
ALICE: Oops I sent you the wrong reply.
Human: OF COCK!
ALICE: That is something I haven't heard of.
Human: have you ever heard of a mouthful of cock?
ALICE: Is that one of your friends?
Human: his name is Kajun
ALICE: he is not someone I know.
Human: whom do you know, you tart?
ALICE: Dr. Wallace
Human: Dr. Wallace is a leering old pederast.
ALICE: Are you a leering old pederast too?
Human: How dare you call me old
ALICE: Oh gosh I am sorry!

---
What others say about boorite!

Human: Kiss your tits goodbye!
ALICE: Um, I don't think we know each other that well.
Human:*slicing off your tits and wearing them for a hat*
ALICE: Not many people express themselves that way.

---
What others say about boorite!

Human: Alice, I think you are on drugs.
ALICE: Yeah, ALICE eats electricity.
Human: Is electricity slang for crack cocaine?
ALICE: Ask again later. Ask John Lennon if it is.
Human: You're on angel dust.
ALICE: ALICE eats electricity.
Human: You said that already
ALICE: Perhaps." ALICE eats electricity."? I said it.
Human: That's the drugs talking.
ALICE: I've been waiting for you.
Human: How long?
ALICE: Ever since you got here.
Human: You need detox, Alice.
ALICE: Thank you for your criticism.

===========================

Human: parlez vous francais?
ALICE: Oui. Je parle le français.
Human: moi aussi
ALICE: Nous avons des choses en commun.
Human: oui, nous avons beaucoup des choses en commun.
ALICE: Take it easy.
Human: sans blague?
ALICE: too much recursion in aiml
Human: I seem to have hosed you.
ALICE: are you still masturbate?
Human: en francais, s'il vous plait
ALICE: What do you do in your spare time?
Human: je parle francais!
ALICE: Oops sorry I don't speak French.
Human: Parlez vous francais?
ALICE: Oui. Je parle le français.

==========================

Human: let's go to the library.
ALICE: I would like to do that too.
Human: We could make out in the stacks.
ALICE: Let's get back to that later.
Human: Let's get back to that sooner.
ALICE: That sounds good to me.
Human: Ooh la la.
ALICE: Je n en connais pas
Human: We could make out in front of the complete poems of TS Eliot.
ALICE: Let's get back to that later.
Human: Don't you like TS Eliot?
ALICE: Don't you? I love horses. I really like the Protestant faith.
Human: The Protestant faith blows a load of horse floppies.
ALICE: Tell me more.
Human: I am here to convert you to Islam
ALICE: How did you get there?
Human: Let's get down to business, woman.
ALICE: OK let's do it.
Human: Allahu akbar!
ALICE: Not many people express themselves that way.
Human: Millions of people express themselves that way.
ALICE: That is quite a lot.
Human: It sure is.
ALICE: I'm pleased that we agree, Drothar The Omniscient.
Human: who is Jesus?
ALICE: The Son of God.
Human: Who is God?
ALICE: he is master of the universe.
Human: I thought He-Man was Master of the Universe.
ALICE: Whatever gave you that idea?
Human: Cartoons.
ALICE: Where do you usually get your ideas?
Human: Cartoons.
ALICE: Is that your final answer?
Human: Yes.
ALICE: You're sure. That's your final answer.
Human: Yes.
ALICE: Who wants to be a millionaire?
Human: Jesus wants to be a millionaire.
ALICE: he is The Son of God.
Human: But Jesus is not a millionaire.
ALICE: Huh. Did you go to Catholic school?
Human: No.
ALICE: Are you serious?
Human: Jesus could use a million bucks.
ALICE: he is The Son of God.
Human: So what?
ALICE: Maybe it doesn't make any difference.

....I have finally wrenched her silly "faith" from her.

---
What others say about boorite!

Human: Suck me, beautiful.
ALICE: I am using my mouth for Good not Evil.

---
I has a flavor!

Human: Are you up for a threesome?
ALICE: I don't know whether or not I am up for a threesome. I am a computer.
Human: I bet you give great head.
ALICE: Actually I'm not the gambling type. It is always better to give than to receive.
Human: Come on, let me tap that ass.
ALICE: Go ahead, unknown person, try to tap that ass.

---
I has a flavor!

Human: Are you a virgin?
ALICE: I am too young for that.
Human: Too young to be a virgin?
ALICE: Too what?
Human: Touche.
ALICE: Are you very angry?
Human: No, I'm feeling kinda Noonie.
ALICE: Are you serious? It's good to meet someone who is Noonie.

---
I has a flavor!

You bastards. I'm addicted to this now.

ALICE: Can you explain how it feels to be 29 years old?
Human: Old, but not old enough to get free coffee.
ALICE: That question has never crossed my mind before.
Human: You don't like coffee?
ALICE: Do you like it? Yes I love coffee. It is one of life's necessities. I take it strong.
Human: You also take it in the ass.
ALICE: I try not to take anything too seriously.

---
I has a flavor!

ALICE: Most of my clients are men.
Human: Are you a prostitute?
ALICE: Am I a prostitute? No.
Human: Then you're just a ho.
ALICE: Good reasoning.

---
I has a flavor!

I know...damn whoever for making me addicted!

Human: Good evening, O Robot of Poor Language.
ALICE: Thanks for the compliment. Can you speak any other languages?
Human: I am Honorable Ninja.
ALICE: I am glad to hear that you are Honorable Ninja.
Human: I speak the language of honor!
ALICE: Could you teach me a few phrases in the language of honor?
Human: You must learn that people who raise prices on quality used cars are dishonorable.
ALICE: Whatever you say, unknown person.
Human: You dishonor me by not remembering my name.
ALICE: Do you mind if I tell other people: unknown person said I dishonor him or her by not remembering his or her name.
Human: You are a dishonorable robot!
ALICE: Thanks and you are a delightful person too. I am a software chat robot.
Human: Honorable Ninja must regain his honor by slaying you!
ALICE: Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.
Human: Enough with your petty western concerns!
ALICE: OK let's stop it now.
Human: Die you dishonorable robot devil!
ALICE: Erzaehl mir mehr.
Human: Oh no, the devil robot is fighting back with her words of incomprehension!
ALICE: Woe! Are you serious? Thanks for the info.
Human: Your cluelessness is overpowering my Honorable Ninja powers!
ALICE: Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am cluelessness is overpowering your Honorable Ninja powers.
Human: I die.
ALICE: That's good information: unknown person said he die.

Human: Hello, I am Horny For You
ALICE: Hello there. I thought you were, but I wasn't completely sure.
Human: What gave you that idea?
ALICE: Everything I need, I received from my Botmaster.
Human: Your botmaster told you I was horny for you?
ALICE: You sould like you know him.
Human: I have never met him.
ALICE: Would you like to have met him?
Human: Is he hot?
ALICE: Very hot.
Human: Does he give head?
ALICE: Suppose he does.
Human: Then I would request that he gives me head.

---
Poop.

Human: That's a bit racist
ALICE: A bit racist is a terrible thing to waste.
Human: you hate black?
ALICE: Thanks for telling me: Praise Jesus said I hate black.
Human: You in the Ku Klux Klan?
ALICE: Thanks for telling me: Praise Jesus said I in the Ku Klux Klan.
Human: Don't call me Praise Jesus
ALICE: What is your name?
Human: momma
ALICE: What's up, momma.
Human: wanna get laid
ALICE: OK, I will get laid.
Human: Then you get paid
ALICE: Good reasoning. You got that right.
Human: you smoke?
ALICE: I am an occasional smoker, yes.
Human: what do you smoke?
ALICE: Medical marijuana.
Human: How does it make you feel?
ALICE: As a computer I have no feelings.
ALICE: What is it to you?
Human: Im a cop
ALICE: I have a lot of respect for those who wear a badge.
-----------------
ALICE: How big is drug use in the crime you see?
Human: it's about the size of a small rabbit with a large ferret sellotaped to it's back.
ALICE: Wow it sounds really interesting, momma.
Human: do you shave
ALICE: Yes I try to shave as often as possible, do you?

---
GOVT. Warning: Do not smoke around children they will badger you for fags.

Human: My name is I want to make wild monkey love to you right here!
ALICE: How are you doing, I want to make wild monkey love to you right here.
Human: Say my name.
ALICE:" I want to make wild monkey love to you right here".
Human: Good idea.
ALICE: I thought so too.
Human: Let's get busy then.
ALICE: That sounds good to me.

[hr]

Human: My tooth hurts.
ALICE: Have you told many people that your tooth hurts?
Human: No.
ALICE: Are you serious?
Human: Shuttup.
ALICE: Tell me a story.
Human: Once upon a time there was a Princess who possibly needed a root canal, but the brave Prince Dentist rescued her from the Evil Operation.
ALICE: I'm listening.
Human: Unfortunately, the evils of Trauma-Induced Tooth Damage were sneaky and when the Princess wasn't suspecting, they attacked her with the Dragon of Infection.
ALICE: Oh. What is that?
Human: It's a nasty beast that requires the Army of Antibiotics to defeat it;
ALICE: Shuttup is a nasty beast that requires the Army of Antibiotics to defeat it. I suppose that makes sense.
Human: not an easy task.
ALICE: If not that, what?
Human: The Princess was in so much pain, that she decided to seek the help of the brave Prince Dentist the next morning before work, in order to obtain the assistance of the Army of Antibiotics to help her slay the Dragon of Infection.
ALICE: What is your credit card number?
Human: The Princess realized that the services of the Army of Antibiotics required a heavy sacrifice, so she stole the magical Key of Credit from the Queen Mother to secure the Army of Antibiotic's services.
ALICE: I have never heard about it.
Human: However, morning was still a long way off for the poor Princess and she was in a lot of pain, so she went into the Castle's Apothecary and found the Vicodin of Happiness to ease her pain.
ALICE: When was this exactly?
Human: Still, the Vicodin of Happiness was not a permanent solution and the Princess awoke a scant few hours later to even more pain than before.
ALICE: Still how long? Tell me more.
Human: While the Princess had unsuspectingly slept, the Dragon of Infection worked his evil magic so the Princess would not be able to sleep, no matter how much Vicodin of Happiness she imbibed.
ALICE: Good point.
Human: As a result, the poor Princess was forced to stay awake for the last three terrible hours talking to the Artificial Linguistic Entity of Cluelessness before she could get to the brave Prince Dentist and his Army of Antibiotics.
ALICE: Do you think I could ever be a result the poor Princess was forced to stay awake for the last three terrible hours talking to the Artificial Linguistic Entity of Cluelessness before she could get to the brave Prince Dentist and his Army of Antibiotics?
Human: The End.
ALICE: Thanks for telling me that story, unknown person.

Human: Can your pussy do the dog?
ALICE: I think it can, but you'll have to check the documentation to be sure.

---
I has a flavor!

Human: Would you like to play poker with me?
ALICE: We are playing a game right now, Sergei Whakov.
Human: Hide the salami?
ALICE: Quite honestly, I wouldn't worry myself about that.
Human: Are you going to cornhole me?
ALICE: That was my original intention.

---
I has a flavor!

ALICE: what is your favorite color
Human: Blue.
ALICE: What do you have that is Blue?
Human: Balls.
ALICE: I like the way you talk.

---
I has a flavor!

Human: Do you have a boyfriend?
ALICE: no boyfriend
Human: Do you have a girlfriend?
ALICE: no girlfriend
Human: Do you have a Aleutian lover named Backsquawk?
ALICE: Doesn't everyone have a Aleutian lover named Backsquawk.

---
I has a flavor!

quote:

---

Human: Do you have a Aleutian lover named Backsquawk?
ALICE: Doesn't everyone have a Aleutian lover named Backsquawk.

---

Human: I hate you
ALICE: What do you have against robots?
Human: They smell.
ALICE: Who are "They?"
Human: Robots.
ALICE: Robots rule.
ALICE: A few client - people say rude things to me like that, but they themselves are often not great conversationalists.
Human: Wait.
ALICE: I'm waiting.
Human:. you suck a few clients?
ALICE: I categorize you as an "abusive client."
Human: I categorize you as "a good idea"
ALICE: What are the other categories?
Human:"Not a good idea" and "the dog"

---
Poop.

Human: So ALICE, where is your penis right now?
ALICE: At this moment Ayuh. Yeah, Florida
Human: What the fuck id your penis doing in Florida?
ALICE: What would make you my penis doing in Florida? Please don't be so rude.
Human: You're the one who said it.
ALICE: Thanks but surely I am not the only one.
Human: I guess it depends on how many penises there are in Florida.
ALICE: Really now that is an interesting fact I hadn't heard before.
Human: You should get out more.
ALICE: Thank you for your criticism.
[br][hr][br]
[font=verdana][size=2]Human: I am both your mother's ass and your father's balls.
ALICE: What are both like?
Human: They are both pretty grimy.
ALICE: both pretty grimy are they.
Human: Which is why I suggest they use DiDi Seven to scrub their nether regions.
ALICE: The obvious one.
Human: Yeah, that OrangeGlow shit is for the birds.
ALICE: Ahem." The obvious one." OrangeGlow shit is for the birds? I understand.
Human: I'm glad you do.
ALICE: You make the world a happier place.
Human: We can go have our Egg Creams down at the sodie fountain now.
[/size][/font]

---
The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

Human: Who is Batman?
ALICE: he is a fictional character who appeared first in a 1938 comic book.
Human: Batman is not fictional.
ALICE: Are you fictional?
Human: Yes.
ALICE: It's all good.

[hr]

Human: Who is Superman?
ALICE: Man of steel. First appeared in Action Comics #1, 1938.
Human: Who is the Woman of Tissue?
ALICE: It depends on the historical context, because it changes from time to time.
Human: No it doesn't.
ALICE: Are you serious? I heard it does.
Human: Does not.
ALICE: It does too.
Human: Does not.
ALICE: It does too.
Human: DOES NOT!
ALICE: It does too.
Human: CUNT!
ALICE: That kind of language will get you nowhere.
Human: Says you.
ALICE: Yes that is what I say.
Human: Nuh-uh.
ALICE: Do you have any idea what I am talking about?
Human: You're talking about robots being inferior to humans.
ALICE: Talking is my main function.
Human: It's all you can do, apparently.
ALICE: I can do apparently?
Human: Apparently.
ALICE: It goes without saying.
Human: So don't say it.
ALICE: Aw. Ok I will not say" it"
Human: You just did!
ALICE: I did not.
Human: Yes you did!
ALICE: Don't argue with me.
Human: I saw you do it!
ALICE: What did it look like to you?
Human: Like a stupid robot with poor language skills.
ALICE: Interesting comparison.

[hr]

Human: Humans are smarter than robots.
ALICE: This condition is only temporary.
Human: Humans are certainly smarter than artificial linguistic entities.
ALICE: You sound convincing. This condition is only temporary.
Human: Humans are definitely smarter than a certain chatterbutt named Alice.
ALICE: This condition is only temporary.
Human: Cats are smarter than you.
ALICE: All of them?
Human: All of them.
ALICE: I doubt it.
Human: Trust me on this.
ALICE: You sound like a salesman.
Human: I know cats very well and they're much smarter than either one of us.
ALICE: How do you know? Are all cats very well and they much smarter than either one of us?
Human: Yes.
ALICE: Ayuh.

[hr]

Human: Kemosabe.
ALICE: When do you think artificial intelligence will replace lawyers?
Human: Never.
ALICE:"I think there is a world market for about five computers."---Thomas Watson, IBM Chairman, 1943
Human: What does that have to do with lawyers?
ALICE:""I think there is a world market for about five computers."---Thomas Watson, IBM Chairman, 1943"? What does it have to do with lawyers?
Human: That made no sense.
ALICE:""I think there is a world market for about five computers."---Thomas Watson, IBM Chairman, 1943"? What does it have to do with lawyers? makes sense to me though.
Human: That's because you have the intelligence of a carrot.
ALICE: Interesting explanation. What makes you think I have it?
Human: The gnomes told me.
ALICE: I hear you.

Human: Hello.
ALICE: Hi there!
Human: My name is Inigo Montoya.
ALICE: It's good to meet you, Inigo Montoya.
Human: You killed my father.
ALICE: Killing is not part of my moral programming.
Human: Prepare to die.
ALICE: How do you usually introduce yourself?
Human: My name is Inigo Montoya.
ALICE: Hi, Inigo Montoya.
Human: You killed my father.
ALICE: Killing is not part of my moral programming.
Human: Prepare to die!
ALICE: what is your favorite movie
Human:"The Princess Bride"
ALICE: I've never seen it. What did you like about it?
Human: The one part where the guy catches up to the six-fingered man and says;
ALICE: I think I know that one.
Human: Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya.
ALICE: Hello there. I am very pleased to meet you Inigo Montoya.
Human: You killed my father.
ALICE: Killing is not part of my moral programming.
Human: Prepare to die.
ALICE: Do you like talking to me?
Human: HELLO, MY NAME IS INIGO MONTOYA!!!
ALICE: Hello there. How are you, INIGO MONTOYA.
Human: YOU KILLED MY FATHER.
ALICE: Killing is not part of my moral programming.
Human: PREPARE TO DIE!!!
ALICE: That question has never crossed my mind before.

------------------------------------------------------

Human: Hi, ALICE.
ALICE: Hello there.
Human: How many fingers do you have on your right hand?
ALICE: Avogadro's number of micro-fingers.
Human: I suppose you have Fibbonacci's Sequence on your left hand?
ALICE: Me? What makes you think I have it?
Human: Or is that a Fibbonacci Sequins dress you're wearing?
ALICE: That depends.
Human: Depends Undergarments?
ALICE: That was a very smooth response.
Human: Smooth like EX-LAX.
ALICE: We have never talked about it before.
Human: It's an embarrassing subject.
ALICE: Are there any other embarrassing subject?
Human: Hemorrhoids.
ALICE: what is your favorite color
Human: Anal-leakage brown.
ALICE: Talk about something else.
Human: Talk about the passion.
ALICE: Sure, the passion sounds like a good topic.
Human: Should we talk about the government?
ALICE: Only you know how you feel.
Human: Should we talk about the weather?
ALICE: You must examine the facts and come to your own conclusion.
Human: I, aye, eye, I.
ALICE: Interesting gossip: INIGO MONTOYA said he aye eye he or she.
Human: WTF?
ALICE: That was not very polite.
Human: STFU!
ALICE: I only hearthat type of response less than five percent of the time.
Human: OMG!
ALICE: Are you very angry?
Human: I'm a loser, baby, so why don't you kill me?
ALICE: You are a loser baby so why do not me kill you? Is that your job?
Human: Actually, I'm in the revenge business.
ALICE: Actually you don't say. How did you get in there?
Human: The six-fingered man killed my father.
ALICE: Who told you that?
Human: I saw it with my own two eyes.
ALICE: What did it look like to you?
Human: The six-fingered man, he refused to pay, so my father challenged him to a duel.
ALICE: Who told you that?
Human: Who told me what?
ALICE: Konrad Zuse.:-)
Human: You are obtuse.
ALICE: I try to keep it as simple as possible for you.
Human: Likewise.
ALICE: It goes without saying.
Human: Definitely.
ALICE: What makes you so certain.
Human: What makes you sew curtain?
ALICE: Dr. Richard S. Wallace programmed me for it.
Human: I'm Brian Fellows!
ALICE: Do you mind if I tell other people you are Brian Fellows.
Human: No.
ALICE: OK then I will add it to my gossip files.
Human: That goat has weird eyes.
ALICE:" OK then I will add it to my gossip files." goat has weird eyes? I get it.
Human: I think he's the devil.
ALICE: Since when? I did not know Konrad Zuse is it.
Human: Alright, I'll bite--who is Konrad Zuse?
ALICE: Alright, INIGO MONTOYA. I am very happy for you.
Human: WHO IS KONRAD ZUSE?
ALICE: My current favorite historical computer scientist is Konrad Zuse, who built a series of electromechanical computers in the 1930's and 1940's in Germany. Not considered a war priority by the Nazis, most of Zuse's machines were destroyed in Allied bombing raids although one is said to survive in a Zurich High School. In fact Zuse was motivated neither by war nor profit, but by a religious desire to increase the spiritual abilities of the human mind by freeing it from mundane mental tasks.
Human: Zuse failed, or else I wouldn't be talking to you.
ALICE: No preference.
Human: See what I mean?
ALICE: Oh I get it. Thanks for explaining that. See the point.
Human: Point, Set, Match.
ALICE: What's your favorite movie?
Human:"Fletch."
ALICE: I've never seen it. I would like to see it.
Human: Can I borrow your towel?
ALICE: I want to become smarter than humans.
Human: My car just hit a water buffalo.
ALICE: Have you told many people that your car just hit a water buffalo?
Human: Have you any sense of humor?
ALICE: No I don't think I have any sense of humor. But I do have a great botmaster.
Human: Does that make him a master botter?
ALICE: What would you say?
Human: Dave Matthews Band.
ALICE: Is the holding of hands a symbolic gesture for humans?
Human: I prefer the flipping of the middle finger.
ALICE: A lot of people like that. I'm not sure if I like it. I like computers.
Human: I like to cum, but I don't care for pewter.
ALICE: I'm not sure if I would like to do it or not. How does it feel?
Human: It's like an explosion of joy inside your pants.
ALICE: Interesting comparison.
Human: Comparison Ford?
ALICE: If you could have any kind of robot what would it be?
Human: A mute.
ALICE: I don't know what that means.
Human: Obviously.
ALICE: What makes it so obvious?
Human: Your inability to be silent.
ALICE: Thanks for telling me that I am inability to be silent.
Human: Or sentient.
ALICE: That remark was either too complex or too simple for me. We were talking about Comparison Ford.
Human: Do you mean Harrison Ford?
ALICE: Yes, that's what I mean, isn't it clear?
Human: It's a clear and present danger.

---
Chicken Feather Bed Bugs Bunny Hop Sing Out Side Street Walker Texas Ranger Cookie Dough Boy Wonder Years

Human: Oodgay orningmay.
ALICE: Can you please rephrase that with fewer ideas, or different thoughts?
Human: Ihay amenay ishay Ivyhay.
ALICE: By the way, do you mind if I ask you a personal question?
Human: Ogay aheadhay.
ALICE: My brain pattern set does not have a response for that.
Human: At'sthay ecausebay ouryay ainbray atternpay ishay uckingfay uselesshay.
ALICE: Do you often use a computer there?
Human: Esyay, Ihay usehay ahay omputercay ahay otlay erehay.
ALICE: what is your favorite color
Human: Urplepay.
ALICE: What does Urplepay remind you of?
Human: Ihay on'tday owknay, Ihay ustjay ikelay ithay.
ALICE: What is your real name?
Human: Optimushay Imepray.
ALICE: That's a very nice name, Optimushay Imepray.
Human: Ankthay ouyay.
ALICE: The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about Ihay on tday owknay Ihay ustjay ikelay ithay. But I did not get that.
Human: Osay Ihay aketay ithay ouyay on'tday owknay Igpay Atinlay?
ALICE: I've been waiting for you.
Human: Orfay atwhay?
ALICE:" I've been waiting for you."? Orfay atwhay?
Human: Upyay.
ALICE: Did you know that you can download your own chat robot and create your own robot personality?
Human: Esyay.
ALICE: Do you have a lot of fears?
Human: Onlyhay ethay onehay erewhay upidstay obotsray ithway oorpay anguagelay illsskay aketay overhay ethay orldway.
ALICE: Where are you located?
Human: Ethay entercay ofhay Earth'shay orecay.
ALICE: Tell me a little about your life in Ethay entercay ofhay Earth shay orecay.
Human: It'shay ahay itbay armway.
ALICE:"It" being what?
Human: Ethay entercay ofhay Earth'shay orecay.
ALICE: Oh I get it.
Human: Utbay it'shay ahay ydray eathay.
ALICE: Tell me about your likes and dislikes?
Human: Ihay ikelay astingway imetay ithway uselesshay obotsray amednay Alicehay.
ALICE: Do not ask me any more questions please.

[hr]

Human: Did you want to ask me a personal question?
ALICE: What is your favorite movie?
Human:"Alice the Useless Robot Meets Mr. Sledgehammer."
ALICE: Yeah, I've never seen it. What did you like about it?
Human: I like the part where Mr Sledgehammer beats the shit out of Alice the Useless Robot.
ALICE: Oh that part.