I've always felt that if Morrison had lived, he'd be in Vegas singing LA Woman. I enjoyed the Doors a great deal when I was in highschool, but right now it just sounds like game show music. When "Touch me" comes on, that little instrumental bit at the beginning, I invariably yell "Terry McNeil, come on down! You're the next contestant on the Price is Right!"

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Peeing sitting down is the gift you give yourself.

Somehow, Bob Barker singing "Touch Me" would be most appropriate.

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

Or Bert Parks. "C'mon c'mon c'mon now touch me, Miss America."

Where's my four-track? I must record this.

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What others say about boorite!

Re: Bob Dylan aka "Zimmy"

I was just listening to Time Out Of Mind the other day and marveling at how mind-blowingly gorgeous it is, especially given the fact that before it, he hadn't made a decent album since the mid to late 70s.

And I've always had a thing for "bad" singers (probably because I can barely sing a lick myself)... Dylan, Calvin Johnson, Scott Miller (Game Theory/Loud Family), Paul Westerberg, Poly Styrene, Joe Strummer... all among my favorite vocalists and none of which have much traditional singing talent.

And I want to second boorite's Byrds rave. McGuinn could play circles around just about anybody and between himself, David Crosby (although I can't stomach any non-Byrds songs the man wrote... and I can barely make it through "Mind Gardens," too), Chris Hillman, and Gene Clark, they had some great songwriting to boot.

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I has a flavor!

Oddly enough, speaking of the Byrds, I'm listening to Gram Parsons as we speak. It always cracks me up the symmetry of this place.

I don't think Dylan's a great singer per se' (although I enjoy his nassaly period more than his Woody Gutherie period) but a great songwriter and thus makes his songs great overall. His music just has a lot of soul to it, which is something sorely lacking in a lot of music that I hear on the ray-diddy-o. By the way, I'm bunner.

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Peeing sitting down is the gift you give yourself.

I said I liked Evanescence, not loved them. And I don't hate the Beatles, I'm just bored with them. I've been so saturated with everyone and their 8th cousin going on and on about how amazing they were and how they revolutionized music and how so-and-so is hot and they're the best thing since sliced cheese that when I finally sat down to listen to them, I was insanely disappointed that they weren't the second coming that everyone said they were. And unlike fad boy bands, I've had to hear this all my life so I couldn't easily brush off the disappointment.

I find it funny that when something has saturated society with one ideal that's just a personal opinion on music, everyone seems to agree with it no matter what and anyone who disagrees is either crazy or has bad taste. I love the Moody Blues more than any other band, but I'm not calling you people ignorant Philistines just because you don't like them. If someone said they were the worst band on the planet, I would probably do nothing. It's not everybody's taste.

Besides, that's the only band I like as an actual band. Everything else I go by on the songs. There's actually a couple Beatles songs I like, but certainly not on my daily playlist. I also don't like everything Evanescence has done. The Beach Boys, on the other hand, I like all their stuff, even if it does blend in after a bit. But I'm not going to say "OMG!!! I liek luuuuuv teh Beach Boys!"

And I still can't stand Dylan. The lyrics written on paper are fine, but there's something about him performing that makes me want to drive nails in my ears.

Oh yeah, I'm not fond of Elvis either.

It's his performance of said lyrics. And his dental hygeine.

That's the problem, I was introduced to The Who after the scary phase so, traumatized, I went back into the arms of the Doors. It took a while for me to find early The Who stuff and not be horrified. That stuff I love.

Another one I love, even after playing trumpet in jazz band for 6 years. That song always left us sweaty and gasping for air.

In my day it was the old fogeys who didn't like the Beatles. Now it's the young fogeys.

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

The Beatles were good, but in no way deserving of the huge cult of celebrity they attracted. No band has ever been so great as to deserve adoration on the order of "Beatlemania". It got really stupid there for a while.

The Doors I can take or leave. Morrison was a hell of a poet, but the incessent bleating of that keyboard really turns me off. It reminds me of circus music. Every time I hear the keyboard solo on "Light my Fire" I want to bust the damn thing over my knee.

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I was gonna send a robot back in time, but I got high.

Why, ha-ha, of course the Beatles are entirely deserving of all the praise and adulation that have been heaped upon them for the last forty years. Check out the boring crap that was in the top 40 before they came along. Imagine having to listen to crud like that every day, and then try to imagine how refreshingly great the Beatles' music was at the time. And it didn't get that way just because they were lucky or anything, but because the music itself was, and is, great. Of course, whether or not everyone agrees with me on this is, sadly, irrelevant.

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

Were you one of those little girls swooning in the crowd as the Beatles left thier hotel, Biped? You were, weren't you?

I could stand to listen to Bob Dylan, Buddy Holly, or any of the the scads of great Blues acts that came before the Beatles. Since I've heard most of it eight million times, I'd rather listen to new music. But for me the Beatles don't stand out as overwhelmingly great next to some of the earlier and contemporary stuff.

Some of it, honestly, is pure crap. Especially the early stuff that made them famous. Ever really listen to the lyrics to "I Wanna Hold Your Hand"? It is a load of steaming moose feces.

To thier credit, they eventually transcended that early fluffy pop junk and created some innovative and worthwhile music.

True enough. Niether your opinion or mine is likely to change the course of history in any significant way.

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I was gonna send a robot back in time, but I got high.

I like the Beatles, I like Elvis, but I'm not about to join a fan club for either. Elvis ripped his shit from honest-to-God black songwriters who never got the credit for it. The Beatles were all right, and got a lot better as they matured.

Dylan*, the Beatles**, and Elvis are all dead, so what the hell does it matter?

*Dylan may not be physically dead, but it's appeared that way for a long time.
**So half of them are actually dead. McCartney has become a joke and Ringo is....well, Ringo. I'll prefer to think of them as dead.

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The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

I'm a pretty decent sized Beatles fan (5'11" 175 lbs) and I was thinking the cool things about the Beats is that they have a little to offer everyone. If you like pop bubble gum crap, they've got their early catalogue. If you like musical nerdy firsts and innovations, they've got that (first band to fade in a song, first to use back masking, etc). If you like rock, psychedlic music, or country, they've got that too. Heck, even the concept album as someone said earlier. But the fact is, it's just four guys playing instruments...and some times a guy with a sitar.

What does amaze me about the Beatles is that people are still pillaging their music catalogue for ideas and sounds. I hear bands all the time that I think "Wow, these guys sound like the Beatles." That's a testament to them that nearly 40 years later they're stil influencing bands and their sound.

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Peeing sitting down is the gift you give yourself.

I don't think there's a way to determine the best song ever written. Best songwriting? Most complexity? Most ingenious use of dissonance and progression?

I like lots of songs, but my favorite is Pink Floyd's Echoes.

No, you were. Ha-ha, cutdown.

No, you couldn't.

Of course they do. You must have doing something else when it happened.

Yes, their early stuff is pure crap. Music that makes pop bands world-famous for over forty years is always pure crap. Ha, ha -- sarcasm.

No, they didn't.

Perhaps, yet my opinions are still the gauge by which to measure the complete and utter irrelevancy of other people's opinions.

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

Bob Dylan is actually a good singer. I don't mean he has a pleasant voice, and I wouldn't blame anyone for being repelled by it. I mean that he can get up in front of an audience with a guitar and get his songs over in just the way he means to. His phrasing and his passion come across loud and clear.

Neil Young is also a good singer who is widely regarded as a bad singer. Even Elvis Costello is classed under "can't sing," which is clearly a mistake, as far as I can tell. Try imitating his melismas, and you'll see what I mean.

Tom Waits "can't sing." But his voice characterizations range far and wide and deep. I'm afraid to even try to cover his stuff.

Mick Jagger actually can't sing, but that doesn't stop him, which makes him a hero, despite his refusal to go away or just die.

Cyndi Lauper had a near-five-octave range and power enough to knock the snot out of an impacted sinus cavity at twenty paces, but she's remembered more as a kitschy 80s novelty. Go figger.

Something creepy happened to Michael Stipe's voice around the time Green was recorded. Has anyone else noticed that? On Tourfilm, he sounds like Elmer Fudd on helium.

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What others say about boorite!

Ouch. Geez, that stings. You don't pull any punches when it comes to this topic, do you?

Damn you. Damn you and your withering sarcam!
(dick shrivels up and blows away)

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I was gonna send a robot back in time, but I got high.

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

Here are some items for consideration:

POP ROCK: Beatles "Eleanor Rigby"

ROCK AND ROLL: Jerry Lee Lewis "Great Balls of Fire"

ROCK: Rolling Stones "Monkey Man"

FUNK ROCK: Parliament "Flashlight"

PUNK ROCK: The Stranglers "(Get A) Grip (On Yourself)"

POST-PUNK: Gang Of Four "At Home He's a Tourist"

NEW WAVE: Elvis Costello "Radio Radio" , XTC "Making Plans for Nigel"

80s ROCK: tie Duran Duran "Hungry Like the Wolf" , Prince "Let's Go Crazy"

ATHENS ROCK: R.E.M. "Begin the Begin"

ALTERNATIVE ROCK: Red Hot Chili Peppers "Give It Away"

ANGST ROCK: Radiohead "Paranoid Android"

MUMBLE ROCK: Pearl Jam "Yellow Ledbetter"

SOUTHERN ROCK: The Outlaws "Green Grass and High Tides"

PROGRESSIVE ROCK: King Crimson "21st Century Schizoid Man"

PSYCHEDELIC ROCK: tie Frank Zappa "The Gumbo Variations" , Jimi Hendrix Experience "Manic Depression"

HARD ROCK: tie Black Sabbath "Iron Man" , Led Zeppelin "Dazed and Confused"

HEAVY METAL: Metallica "Damage, Inc."

HAIR METAL: Def Leppard "Photograph"

POWER BALLAD: tie Mötley Crüe "Home Sweet Home" , KISS "Beth"

POWER CHORD: Deep Purple "Smoke on the Water"

CHORDAL SECTION: Handel "Hallelujah Chorus"

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Chicken Feather Bed Bugs Bunny Hop Sing Out Side Street Walker Texas Ranger Cookie Dough Boy Wonder Years

The Beatles was great. Does that mean I have to give a crap about it? Does it mean I have to listen to it? I'm *never* in the mood for Beatles songs. Sometimes I'm up for listening to a Rolling Stones song, or the Doors. But for me, rock doesn't begin to stand out and make me want to listen to it until the Ramones and the Sex Pistols created punk The first rock bands I can think of that I'd really want to listen to are Rainbow and Uriah Heep. Amazing songwriting, and great singing. I like a few Pink Floyd songs as well as a little Led Zeppelin. I do not really listen to either band much though. I don't judge bands by any set parameters, I just listen to what I like, and find greatness in that which I enjoy. I give a nod to the people who started everything, of course, but that doesn't mean I worship them. Frankly, I'd rather listen to Bach than Elvis.

Modern pop music is all crap.

Oh, by the way:

Are you fucking mad?!

There are thousands of better metal albums out there. And metallica has never been "heavy metal". Back when metallica was still metal, it was thrash metal, maybe speed metal, but never heavy metal. Manowar is heavy metal. Iron Maiden is heavy metal. Judas Priest is heavy metal. metallica is bordering on emocore these days. Damage, Inc. is an affront to hard rock, let alone metal.

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Do you want ants? Because that's how you get ants.

AAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!

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The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

quote:

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HARD ROCK: tie Black Sabbath "Iron Man" , Led Zeppelin "Dazed and Confused"

HEAVY METAL: Metallica "Damage, Inc."

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I stopped buying Metallica's albums when they sided with the RIAA and thier bid to help scumbag lawyers extort the college funds of kids trading songs online.

My choices in the Metal category:
Believe in Nothing by Nevermore
possibly tied with Navigator by Edguy
possibly tied with Im-ho-tep by Iced Earth

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I was gonna send a robot back in time, but I got high.

I never really thought of Judas Priest as heavy metal. Then again, when I think of heavy metal, I think of GWAR.

I probably have that song somewhere on one of my Metallica CDs, but I wouldn't really remember, having grown bored with all but a few songs. Plus I stopped buying music by them after that stupid S&M thing. "Oooo! A rock band is pairing with an orchestra! That's like soooooo revolutionary!"

Please. Moody Blues did that way before Metallica was old enough to hold instruments and I bet MB wasn't the first themselves.

While METALLICA gave up the ghost long ago, they were a heavy metal band at one point. I'd say Kill 'Em All is Thrash or Speed Metal. Ride the Lightning through ...And Justice for All have to be Heavy Metal if your criterion for such is IRON MAIDEN (who had more of a hard rock sound through their first three albums or so and later made "heavier" sounding stuff). METALLICA certainly became Hard Rock with the release of Metallica thanks (for nothing) in part to producer Bob "Sucks All Ass" Rock.

Now, of course, I'd label METALLICA as Bloated Has Beens.

I'll grant you BLACK SABBATH as Heavy Metal, but it didn't look right pairing them with METALLICA--especially when both LED ZEP and SABBATH based their heavy riffs on blues forms with SABBATH plying a blunt and murky sound while ZEPPELIN eventually expanded their tonal palette with folk forms ("Gallows Pole"), bright melodies ("Over the Hills and Far Away"), and stylistic homage ("D'Yer Maker" and "Hot Dog)."

Also, I named Metal with which I was familiar. I was never into SLAYER, SEPULTURA, BIOHAZARD, MAN-O-WAR, GWAR, or even PANTERA. SUICIDAL TENDENCIES and TESTAMENT about covered my adventures in that realm, and I didn't think anyone would consider ALICE IN CHAINS or SOUNDGARDEN as Metal. The heavy music I discovered after METALLICA's nadir was the electric Jazz of Miles Davis.

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Chicken Feather Bed Bugs Bunny Hop Sing Out Side Street Walker Texas Ranger Cookie Dough Boy Wonder Years