HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

boorite, you fuck, that was hilarious!

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I ate a hooker half a bottle of knife.

CC10001000 - Robots Rule! Entry 5: Botwatch by Shadow_Artist 8-14-02

I say, old boy! Sorry for dragging you down to the ocean depths like this! It's a spot of billy-bother and no mistake! Yeah...would you do one thing for me? Explain why an 800lb metal robot would think he'd be any good as a lifeguard? Gladly, old bean! Just as soon as you explain how you're able to breathe and talk underwater! Curse your logic...*Blub*

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Carry the battle to them. Don't let them bring it to you. Put them on the defensive. And don't ever apologize for anything. - Harry S Truman, 33rd president of US (1884 - 1972)

The Future of Socialized Medicine by Namgubed 8-14-02

... and why do you think you have this fear of electronic machines? I dunno ... it just weirds me out seein' 'em move around by some unseen power. And yet the human body's energy source is self-contained, and its movements are directed by electrical impulses. Now go see the nurse for your prescription. Gee, I never thought of it from that perspective. Thanks, Doc, that really helps. Awaiting prescription orders ... More shock therapy!

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"There's no point in beating a dead horse ... except, of course, for the pure joy of it." - A. Whitney Brown

CC 10001000 entry: all hail the pimp bot by jaggeh_the_hutt 8-14-02

Who pimps the pimps that pimp the pimps what up dawg, i be pimping my hoes lick a mutha**ka im sorry but to make way for the new world order ive decided to replace you the experiment is a sucess AHAAHAHHA MY PIMP BOT IS COMPLETE w4t up d4\/\/g hard at wprk the pimp bot takes care of his hoes g|mm3 t|-|3 c45|-| |3i4tc|-| $$$

Awareness by ObiJo 8-14-02

Hello, comic contest reader. This is your author, obijo. I am trying to de-program myself of all that society has taught me about being guarded and fearful of others. I want to be completely open. While opening myself up can produce great pleasure, it can also produce great pain. That's where Tex comes in. I'm obi's inner defeatist!

Awareness by ObiJo 8-14-02

You see, whenever I start to open up, there's a part of my mind that says, "No, don't do it! You'll get hurt!" Show 'em, Tex. No, don't do it! You'll get hurt! And it scares the part of me that wants to be completely open, the real me, back into hiding. Then it laughs laughs laughs. OH how it laughs. Show 'em, Tex. Ha!

Awareness by ObiJo 8-14-02

So I grabbed a hobby knife... And BOY was I screaming at this point! Ya you were. "No, don't do it! You'll get hurt!" And there was some bit about the hobby knife too. Oh, ya ya ya...I said...I said "It's a hobby knife, ya yit!"

Awareness by ObiJo 8-14-02

And I sliced the defeatist part of my brain right out. Right out! I think I accidently got a little more than that though. I can't see the color yellow and everything smells like cornbread. Really? To me EVERYTHING'S yellow! How do you know it's yellow if you don't know what the other colors look like? Well it ain't green!

Awareness by ObiJo 8-14-02

Then I hardwired my defeatist chunk of brain to this robot here. I still don't get that part! By having you extant from myself, I solidify in my remaining mind that you are not me. You are society's attempt to change me. You don't like me? No. But I'm Tex!

[Click to view comic: 'Awareness']
[Click to view comic: 'Awareness']
[Click to view comic: 'Awareness']
[Click to view comic: 'Awareness']
[Click to view comic: 'Awareness']
[Click to view comic: 'Awareness']
[Click to view comic: 'Awareness']
[Click to view comic: 'Awareness']

If someone has an old motorcycle taking up space in their garage, I really think this series deserves it.

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I ate a hooker half a bottle of knife.

Biography by kaufman 8-14-02

Good evening and welcome to Biography. Tonight I'm sitting in for Peter Graves, something you'll regret about two panels from now. This evening we will take a look at the life of comic god ObiJo, the first stripcreator to post 1000 comics. ... A turning point in Obijo's life was when he surgically removed the defeatist cortex from his own brain, and implanted it in an autonomous robot. Lacking the defeatist complex, he naturally took up a pro-life stance. You da man!

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

On a darker note, I'm suspicious everyone's making cornbread then lying about it.

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I ate a hooker half a bottle of knife.

Thematic continuation ...

The Future of Socialized Medicine II by Namgubed 8-14-02

... so where do you believe these pains and revulsion towards breastfeeding originate? Well, I was molested by my uncle Mortimer as a child ... That may be the source of your problem. You must forgive your uncle Mortimer and yes, yourself. Only then can you reach closure. Now go see the nurse for your prescription. You know, I never really have forgiven him or myself for what happened. Thanks, Doc! Awaiting prescription orders ... More shock therapy! And don't forget the nipple clamps!

The Future of Socialized Medicine III by Namgubed 8-14-02

... so why do you think your encounters with the opposite sex trigger these flashes of incontinence? I think it goes back to when my Aunt Matilda baby-sat me. Her food gave me constipation, and then she went overboard with suppositories. You must disassociate your Aunt Matilda with womankind in general, and a diet higher in fiber content couldn't hurt, either. Now go see the nurse for your prescription. Thanks, Doc! Gosh, I feel better already. Awaiting prescription orders ... More shock therapy administered by Nurse Tobor!

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"There's no point in beating a dead horse ... except, of course, for the pure joy of it." - A. Whitney Brown

Wow, lots of great entries this time. Honorable mentions, in no particular order:

israphael - Y Tu Mama Tambien

Shadow_Artist - Robots Rule! Entry 2: Go RocketCop!

kaufman - Robocon, CC 0x88: Windowpain (I was wondering why so many people used binary numbers in their titles when I came upon this one.), What's Causing that Racket?

boorite - Automate this, When they grow up, HomoCop series

DexX - Unforeseen complications

NeoVid - the only other thing I thought of

lara7 - Metal up your ASCII

Scyess - Complaints series

evil_d - Robots for that

ObiJo - R2BeatU and BeatTheePO series, Tex series

Namgubed - The Future of Socialized Medicine

But the winner, for an overall great showing, is boorite.

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"Oh, look, a joke! How original! Thank you, but if I wanted my emotions stimulated pleasurably, I'd get a whore." - Donald B. Jones III

Through the looking glass by ObiJo 8-14-02

Well, I'm not too happy about this loss. Me either! But if that's wrong, I'm sorry! I'd like to give Big Evil Dan a Big Oval Anus! I feel blue. Tis some bullshit up in his gnaw! YOU'RE ALL A BUNCH OF FUCKING WHINERS!

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I ate a hooker half a bottle of knife.

This is the hardest I've ever tried in a cc. The magnificence of several bastards drew something out of me that I am not very comfortable with: effort.

New rules in two shakes.

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What others say about boorite!