Proof Read All Reports by ragu4u 10-21-10

But you won't like... I SAID....read your report on what you learned in D.C. on vacation. Ok then...here goes. Finally! Ahem...."Why Crack Whores Have Few Teeth...." "NEXT"

Beware of the Swat Team

Killer Insects Attack Atlanta, Ga. How come you guys are killers and we're just pests? Face it! Sometimes it just be's that way.

by ragu4u, 10-22-10

Earth-shattering Revelations by ragu4u 10-22-10

We here at wikiLeaks have just released 400,000 more secrets from Afghanistan. Whoa dude. Just give me the Cliff Notes version. Well....."War is Hell". So? Is that it? Yeah...pretty much. I'm going to watch "The Three Stooges".

We All Live In A What? by ragu4u 10-22-10

I say Ringo, upscope! Aye, aye John On my mark, Paul, fire tube one. But Captain John, you're not deep enough. That's what Yoko always says, George. That bloody gold-digger?

Bitch, Bitch, Bitch by ragu4u 10-23-10

Damnit all. Stripcreator is as lifeless as a whore in church, today. Damnit all. Today, Stripcreator is as lifeless as ragu4u in my hotel room. I'm kinda tired but....ya wanna do it? With you? Snails have better moves.

Tom Bodette Slept Here by ragu4u 10-23-10

Welcome to Motel 6 Yikes! Freakin bedbugs. I'm outta here. We'll keep the light on for ya!

Here Kitty by ragu4u 10-23-10

Today, I'm REALLY gonna try not to hate that kid next door! Oh well.

Here's Looking At You by ragu4u 10-23-10

Hey bitch, I'm blinking.... ...not winking at you. Says the perv.

Survival! by ragu4u 10-24-10

Is it true you actually chewed off that arm to free yourself after a rock slide? Yes, but that wasn't the worst experience of my life. Then what was? Well you see, I took this "Cialis" stuff and.... Oh no... ...after four hours I had to free myself there, too.

The "Way Back" Machine by ragu4u 10-24-10

Today we're going back in my time machine to interview members of the, cannabalistic, Donner/Reed party. Hi Professor. I'm Shelly Fabare and this is Paul Peterson who plays my brother on the show. Hi ya, Prof! Damnit! I must have set it to "Donna Reed", by mistake!

Skewed Priorities

Wow! Talk about an uneven tan!

by ragu4u, 10-24-10

If THIS Were An Actual Emergency..... by ragu4u 10-24-10

Do you hear those warning sirens going off? Chill, man. They test the sirens on the 1st Monday of EVERY month at 11 am. We can go out and check, but I think we're screwed. I have a "Fail-safe" plan....but why would you say that? Because it's noon on Tuesday. Want in?

Up in Smoke by ragu4u 10-25-10

A Bar in California..... Nov. 2nd is the big day. Are you ready? Chill, man. Get laid back. Just be a cool breeze. Ya dig? So you're not going to vote? Voting is for "The MAN"! Issues of the people never even get on the ballot, dude! The vote will be to legalize weed or not. Oh? I'm heading home to find my "chad" scraper-offer.

Not the "Draw" He Used To Be by ragu4u 10-25-10

Detroit.... Graduating Seniors of "Renaissance High", please welcome former President, Bill Clinton. Thank you. Thank you very much. What do you think of the huge turnout, Mr. President? Frankly, I was hoping more than 3 students would have shown up. Actually, it's two students and a parent. But 100% is still 100%. Thank God for percentages!

You're So Vain by ragu4u 10-25-10

Eleven people jump from a window to their death in Paris, today, after claiming to have seen the devil. What? They're crazy. Look at me. I'm buffed up and some might even call me svelt. Now what do YOU want down here? If you're gonna be like this, I'm taking back the Solo-Flex.

Pet Peeves

This should keep him from humping our legs.

by ragu4u, 10-25-10

Mr. Lonely by ragu4u 10-26-10

LONELY...I'm Mr. LONELY. I have nobody to call my owwwwnnnnn! Why the sad face, ragu4u? No matches from E-Harmony in a month, THAT's why! It's because of all that stuff you put in the questionaire you filled out. Women HATE that kind of thing. What? Every word was true. Yeah.....They HATE that stuff.

The Kingpin by ragu4u 10-26-10

I say there, Sir William Tell, whose bowling league will you be playing for today? I must tellith thee the truth. I have yet to make my...... "Ask not, for whom the Tell bowls. He bowls for ME!"

Goats Have the Best Kids by ragu4u 10-26-10

So I'll never stand a chance with you? I hate you. Especially all those silly tricks you do. But you're supposed to eat that stuff up. Oh really? Why do you say THAT? So what you're saying is..."Tricks aren't for kids."? Check please!

Working Under-cover

A Bedroom in New York City... Hop in bed little one. Good night, sleep tight and don't let the ....uh What?

by ragu4u, 10-27-10

"Run & Tell THAT" by ragu4u 10-27-10

Hi. Antoine Dodson here with my new "Sex Offender Tracker" i-phone app, guaranteed to locate each.... Oh shit! Thanks, Antoine.

Home Cookin by ragu4u 10-27-10

Help me, please. I'm lost. Why sure, precious. Let's go home and call for help. You live here? No, but my son does. Butch, come here and look what I done brung ya. Gee, thanks Maw. Kin I throw her in the pot now?

Sunny Delight by ragu4u 10-28-10

Let's go out tonight, Seymour but wash up & put on a shirt & tie first. Oh, OK. Somewhat later... All in all, you did clean up nicely, but you went a little crazy with the spray on tan. What?

Rest in Peace...Please! by ragu4u 10-29-10

James McArthur, AKA "Dano" from Hawaii 5-0 has died at age 72. What the fu....? I just wanna say, for the last time..... If that idiot says..."Book em, Dano." I'll haunt his fat ass forever.

Shopping With NO List

Here you go! I meant the OTHER "Cool Whip".

by ragu4u, 10-29-10