Re: Physical (The Cocky Priest) by ragu4u 2-12-11

So, Samantha told me she wasn't attracted to me. And then YOU said...? I told her she had to be beacause, according to universal gravitation, my mass was bigger than hers. THAT, my boy, is where you screwed up! Really? How so? Everyone knows there is NO Mass bigger than mine!

Trouble From the Get-Go by ragu4u 2-12-11

An Egyptian in D.C. Free at last...free at last...thank Allah almighty we're free at last. What? Oh, nothing... ...you quote stealing, immigrant shit disturber!

Creative Writing Class by ragu4u 2-12-11

I need a adjective, a plural noun, an adjective, a noun, a verb and another noun. What are you doing? My teacher said I need to work on my creative writing skills. That's all dad. Okay then. Use "swollen", "balls", "greasy", "pole", "suck" and "gash". Those ought to punch up your stories. "My SWOLLEN BALLS were GREASY next to my POLE. All I wanted to do was to SUCK her GASH." Damnit! I thought they quit making "Mad-Libs".

Poetic License by ragu4u 2-12-11

This lil piggy went to market... This lil piggy stayed home... This lil piggy had pork roast... Wait just a fucking minute, here. Who wrote this strip? The Donner Party?

Out of Order by ragu4u 2-13-11

You look like you could use a good lawyer. My wife had one and that's how I got like this. Ouch!

What's Cookin? by ragu4u 2-13-11

I'd like pork chops for the Halloween dinner tonight, Henry. Again mit de chops. Chops, chops, always mit de chops. I'm sick of chops. You want chops? You do it. Guess who? It's 350 degrees for an hour, right Henry? RIGHT? Ugh..

Easy For YOU to Say by ragu4u 2-13-11

And the winner for Best Picture is..... "The Kings Spee-p-p... uh The Kings Spee-p-p-p.. Take your time. "The Kings Spee-p-p-p. Oh damn. The Kings Spee-p-p-p.. ...Vocabulary!"

Making An Impression by ragu4u 2-13-11

Dishes are done daddy. Can we play now? Okay. I'll be in your room in a minute, sweetie. What night is tonight, daddy? Branding iron night, little darlin.

Grand Entrance

Did you see Lady Ga Ga arrive at the Grammys? And I thought I could lay an egg!

by ragu4u, 2-14-11

Those who can't "DO", teach! by ragu4u 2-14-11

Dad, I just can't stand my teacher, Miss Landers. I'll have a talk with her, son. I tend to have a way with the ladies. I don't know, dad. She's kinda hard to explain. Leave it to me, Richie. I'll have you liking her before you know it or I'll give ya $100. I hope Richie takes checks. The names Landers. Whatchu lookin at?

Sadly It's... "Stan who?" by ragu4u 2-15-11

Today, Pres. Obama will bestow "The Medal of Freedom" award to baseball great, Stan Musial. Turn up the TV, Michelle. Who the hell is this Stan Musial, guy? Along with Stan's wonderful baseball accomplishments, he's been known to many as the "nicest man in baseball". A damned ballplayer? It's bad enough I gotta give an award to Jr.,now THIS. Stan has been overlooked for many honors in his career but has never complained. That's just not his way. Congrats to "Stan the Man", a living legend. I'm just gonna give him an autographed napkin. People are sick of Yankee players winning stuff, anyway.

Say Wah? by ragu4u 2-15-11

CBS News correspondent Lara Logan has been sexually assaulted while covering the turmoil in Egypt. The lucky bitch. Only after 20 police and a group of women came to her aid, was she kept from being killed.. Wah, wah, wah. She's not so tough. She ought to try and read a teleprompter 3 times a day. But now I'll toss it over to our own Serene Branson. Yibida, yibida, yibida ...th tha, th tha th-that's all folks.

The Titleist by ragu4u 2-16-11

I see movie possibilities here. "Dust Cloud Club?" NO! "Foot n Fist Club?" NO! "Stars n Smoke Club?" NO! "Altercation Club?" NO! "Beat Down Club?" NO!... I'VE GOT IT! "Legends of the FALL."

ragu4u At Tax Time by ragu4u 2-17-11

Well, I'm just about ready to begin doing my taxes. Ooops....I must not forget my most important preparation. Hello? ragu4u, here. Is my cell ready? Sure is. We've been expecting you.

Lost in Translation by ragu4u 2-17-11

Are you responding to my Hentai ad? Yes. I am Hentai expert. You are? I tell you what, there's my desk. I'll leave you in here for ten minutes and see what you've come up with. Me OK with that. Me make Hentai quick like. After ten minutes... ... the fuck?! Don't ask me. I just got roped to this stool by some chink kid.

The Titleist...Part 2 by ragu4u 2-17-11

Let's make a sex video. Aw gee, I dunno. C'mon...it'll be fun. We gotta give it an edgy title. Like what? How bout..."It's Porn Cats n Dogs!".......What?

Wisdom of Age by ragu4u 2-18-11

You're answering the ad for a "Proof Reader"? Eh? Whatya say? Proof Reader...I said PROOF READER. You don't gotta yell. Proof Reader? What the hell's a proof reader? It's a.... Yer ad said you wanted a muff eater. You know, a MUFF EATER! What you really need is somebody to check yer spelling.

Seems funny!

---
Maple Story Mesos,Buy Maple Story Mesos Maple Story NX Cash Card,[url=http:/

Yoga Class by ragu4u 2-19-11

Stretch up... ...and relax. *prbbbt* Ugh..my eyes! Damn chili.

On Second Thought by ragu4u 2-19-11

Hey fatso, got a match? Yeah punk...my face and your ass! Wait!? You are SO stupid. I meant, your face and MY ass. So there!

Bladder Up! by ragu4u 2-19-11

I need a urine sample, young man. Okay, I'll do the best I can. Ahem..."I burn with desire to run my fingers through your silky red lockes and yearn for the touch of your milky white skin." How's that? I said URINE, not yearn. Oh my. AWK-ward!

If You Build It, He Will Cum by ragu4u 2-19-11

Still not getting any tail? Nope, but I had a dream telling me to build something that would boost my sex life, so I'm gonna build it. There we go, finished! Now let the SEX begin. I hope you don't like to do what I think you like to do, do you?

Torn From the Headlines by ragu4u 2-20-11

Annandale, Virginia Did you know the Hill Brook-Tall Oaks Civic Assoc. elected a new president? Sure do. We elected Ms. Beatha Lee. What about it? She's a real dog. Grow up! We didn't let LOOKS be our criteria to elect her. A civic group in Virginia has elected a Wheaton Terrier as it's president. At last...my chance to be a lobbyist.

King of the Road by ragu4u 2-20-11

Trailers for sale or rent. Rooms to let, 50 cent... ...No phone, no pool, no pets. I ain't got no cigarettes, aw but.... You hear somethin? Ugh!

Bombs Away by ragu4u 2-20-11

Go ahead. I dare ya. ker-plop I need a do-over. My timing was off.