Science Class Pays Off by ragu4u 3-06-11

Would you care to come in for "fat girl sex"? Gee, you're so fat, I wouldn't know where to stick it. Don't worry. My dad will take care of that. Huh? Well, OK. Now listen boy, when Fatima comes back in here naked, just pour this peroxide on her. Then... Oh, I get it. Stick my johnson wherever it bubbles up, right?

They Call Her "Capistrano" by ragu4u 3-06-11

Geez Red, couldn't you find a colder place to have sex? You mean colder than our honeymoon bed? There you go, bringing THAT up again. You could have at least changed the sheets after that Bukkake show you put on with my groomsmen. It was our honeymoon. Any lost time would have screwed the ambience. I think the multi-sperm "Slip n Slide" accomplished THAT pretty well on its own.

They Do It On Porpoise by ragu4u 3-06-11

You are truly a beautiful creature. You saw the film "The Cove", am I right? Everyone should see what is exposed in that film. It breaks your heart, I'm sure. Well, doesn't it? You must admit you learned much. Absolutely! You're worth $500 dead and $150,000 alive. Now hold still! CRAP!........ Dive! Dive! Dive!

Office Prankster by ragu4u 3-06-11

Do you think there's enough water in that watercooler to... Just act cool & ignore him. ... dilute a quart of urine by the end of the day?

What's Cookin? by ragu4u 3-07-11

So, you want three layers with a bride & groom on top? Remember, no chocolate at all. My daughter HATES chocolate! Later that day... We're Federal Agents. Drop the bowl. You're under arrest, chef. Huh? G-men? What did I do? We got you on tape preparing to provide "Yellow Cake" to a Muslim.

CC 471: Thumbs Down Would Suffice by ragu4u 3-07-11

I like making poems for fun, But, alas, I've only begun... To create what will be, the best poem you'll see... And the rhyme that will, surely, have won. Oh please, stop NOW & put that on paper so I can land on it & lay maggots!

The Eyes Have It by ragu4u 3-07-11

Come in and check the results yourself. The vision in your left eye is 20/20, 20/20, 20/20, and 20/20.

Limits by ragu4u 3-08-11

Oh please, don't let this be another show about Charlie Sheen. "Duh...Winning!"

Unraveling Denial by ragu4u 3-08-11

Yo Brad. Finally decided to hang with a winner, eh? This "Charlie Sheen's Korner" thing will be your demise, man. Why? I'm surrounded by ME and people who love ME! They don't love you. They're nothing but trolls who love your money. More "Tiger Blood" boss? Can I bring ya a porn slut? Ya got $1000 bucks I can have? Hang tight fellow, "winner", Let me get rid of this loser, Brad, first!

Yearning a Living by ragu4u 3-08-11

I need enough so my family can eat. You'll get $1.00 an hour. THAT"S chicken-feed! Yes, exactly what you wanted. How lucky can you get?

Giving Till It Hurts by ragu4u 3-09-11

I'm collecting for the the Vietnam Vets. Got any usable discards? I've got a few old canisters I can let you have. Wait right here. N'k You'd think vets would know how to handle Napalm.

Sounds Dirty To Me by ragu4u 3-09-11

Are you Camille Toe? Yes. Are you really Colonel Angus? Why yes, my sweet honey dripping Camille Toe. I am Colonel Angus. Colonel Angus? I just love Colonel Angus. In fact, I can't get enough Colonel Angus. Colonel Angus can be a bit rough at times. Rough Colonel Angus is better than NO Colonel Angus at all.

Oops by ragu4u 3-10-11

Well? It's safe to say you no longer have to worry about the unwanted pregnancy. But she came in to have a wisdom tooth pulled. Alrighty then, that'll be a freebie!

Ricochet by ragu4u 3-10-11

I wonder what might happen... ...if I tried to pound a nail in the head of this rubber guy? #^%#% Ouch!

Too Little, Too late by ragu4u 3-11-11

Japan 3/11/2011 What the hell? A wall of water? I must sound the alarm. "HURRY, RUN FOR YOU LIVES. A TSUNAM..... Aw, fuck it!

OPC57: Pedophile Outbreak

Put it where? But wouldn't that kinda hurt me? That's why they call it "penance".

by ragu4u, 3-11-11

Lies You Can See Through by ragu4u 3-11-11

Wolfe, I'm here among the earthquake and tsunami damage in Japan. I'm about to interview the plant manager at the, leaking, Atomic Reactor. Here he comes now, looking very gaunt. Is this reactor truly leaking? Wreaking? This prant not wreaking. What make you think it wreaking?

Thinking Out of the Box by ragu4u 3-12-11

Now THIS oughta cause a ton of confusion, later down the road. hehehe Who the...? Ok. You're right. This has GOTTA BE less painfull than that meteor scenario.

Office Sex-Capades by ragu4u 3-12-11

On top of old Smokey, all covered with fleas..... I wonder who might be singing in there? ... I found my true lover... I'll hide around the corner & see who comes out. Listen bitch, next time I'm on top! Anything for you, old Smokey!

Never Give Up by ragu4u 3-12-11

"Memory, all alone in the moonlight. I can smile at the old days. I was beautiful then." Enough, already! What a dumb idea for a song & play. You'll never make it at the "WEST END" with THAT!

Rough Waters by ragu4u 3-13-11

Is my eye swollen? No. What happened...a fishing accident? Nope. I got hit by a 72 Corolla. These Japanese waters suck!

Confused by the Lyrics by ragu4u 3-13-11

"One night with you, is what I'm now praying for...." Not what you had in mind?

Godzilla Plays 2nd Fiddle

Japan 3/11/2011 Say...I didn't even touch that leaning building.....and where the hell is all this water coming from?

by ragu4u, 3-13-11

Buy a Map!

Which way is Japan? The opposite way the bodies are floating!

by ragu4u, 3-14-11

Give Yogi a hand! by ragu4u 3-14-11

Cool. What a great souvenir. I gotta have THAT! Just up the road.... You know why I pulled you over? Nope. It's because of what you picked up off the road. Hey...you can't tell ME, of all people, that I don't have the right to bear arms. Hey, hey, hey!