Misplaced Credit by ragu4u 12-20-11

You had to dress like this everyday in N. Korea? Yeah. So? Didn't it get boring? Our great leader suggested it. And that meant you had to do it, huh? He got Einstein to do it, so why shouldn't we?

Just Think It by ragu4u 12-20-11

Ha! Do all queers look as gay as you? Arghhh Just the ones with a "Black Belt"!

Who's the Bloody Fool? by ragu4u 12-20-11

I told you to make blood for my new movie. I did, by golly. That crap is green you idiot. It's not my fault... ...you chose to kill Kermit the Frog in the 1st scene.

Happy Birthday Jane Fonda! by ragu4u 12-21-11

At the home of Jane Fonda... Jane, get in here. Look at how HOT you look on your new workout video. Get in here, gal. Shake dat ass. Keep yer pants on, you horny bastard. I'm coming. Whoa! It takes longer and longer to get out of that Spandex.

Bedside Meaner by ragu4u 12-21-11

Is he dead, doc? Is this or is this not, the morgue? Touche'. Damn right, touche', you moron.

Breathe-Rite by ragu4u 12-21-11

Ain't you "The Marlboro Man"? Yup! [cough, hack, cough!] What's the matter? Can't ya breathe? [Hack, hack, cough!] Nope! I'm outta here, man. You're making me sick! Sounds, [cough, cough] fair to me. [cough]

Suzy Got Back by ragu4u 12-22-11

Man...look at the asses on them Kardashian babes. Girls with butts like that can write their own "Cock" tickets. Cock tickets? What's a cock ticket? Weeks later... Hi Suzy. Here's the "Bunz of Steel" tape you've been waiting for. Sweet!

Frigid! by ragu4u 12-22-11

Remember me, Brad? Wait, wait... GOT IT! Jen Aniston, yes? No pussy for you tonight, big boy. I hate it when I'm right!

Dress For Success by ragu4u 12-23-11

I gotta get dressed for work, hon. It's almost 4pm. Damn...she takes forever. Finally! It takes a while for a woman to make herself look this slutty.

Be Careful What You Wish For. by ragu4u 12-24-11

My son, I successfully got those new "AIr Jordans" you HAD to have. Fuck THAT! I'd rather have a "Red Ryder BB Gun". Hope ink on adoption paper not dry yet. What a doofus.

Moving On by ragu4u 12-26-11

" Fiiiiive golden rings, four calling birds, three French hens, two turtle doves and a partridge in..." Why is this tree still here? "...a pear (cough) tree." Christmas was yesterday, asshole.

Eye of the Beholder by ragu4u 12-26-11

Wasn't the crowd for Midnight Mass wonderful, sister? Well Father, it looked to me as if all the women were drunk or high and dressed like tramps. Wonderful! Just wonderful!   ?

The Kids Cum First by ragu4u 12-27-11

Arnold, I've decided to stop the divorce proceedings. No way Maria. I've finally found a way to lose your skinny, skanky, no putting-out ass and you can't back out of it. Isn't there anything I can do? If you would have sucked down a few protien shakes years ago you'd be more attractive now. You call those blow jobs you wanted protien shakes, huh? Well I might change my mind now, but it's just for the kids.

Grandfather Figure by ragu4u 12-27-11

No way! Aw c'mon. Why not? Listen fella, I used to date George Michaels, ya know! Yeah, but I got nuts. Touche'.

Tactless by ragu4u 12-28-11

Hey, aren't you Julianna Rancic? Why, yes I am. Tell me, how does being "boobless" feel? %%#$@ Moments later... Now, you tell ME, how does being "dickless" feel?

Damned Homophones by ragu4u 12-28-11

Hey little girl, you ok with doing anal? Oh my, you no sound like other Peace Corps workers. You get away! What happened to the "Me so horny." stuff? Wait a sec...spell "Piece Corps". "P-e-a-c-e Corps" Shit, now I'm stuck here for 2 years!

No Strings Attached by ragu4u 12-28-11

And you are??? Guess! Jim Henson? Shari Lewis? Paul Winchel? No, no & no. I'm Mario Puzzo. Nice to meet you. I'm.... ...about to sleep with the fishes...trust me.

Realist by ragu4u 12-29-11

What do you think of my "Realist" creations? Yours don't sell. I can do better. OK...then come back and we'll compare. Well? Where is it? I barfed on a canvass. I'd show it to you but it sold already.

The Ghost Hunters by ragu4u 12-30-11

I dunno Angus, I canna see Nessy na more. Wait. I see.... Eh? What say ya, Angus me boy? Speak up. I canna hear ya! 3 Days Later..... Tis true. I lost me boy, Angus, to Nessy right here on this spot. That's why I called ye "Ghost Hunters". We woulda got here sooner but we was asked to fix the shitter at the airport.

This Little Piggy... by ragu4u 12-30-11

Is it ready yet? I'll check, Fuzzy. OUCH! Not quite yet, Fuzzy! Just a little longer, sir. I'll serve no swine before its time. Jolly good!

Truth is Relative by ragu4u 12-30-11

Did you nail everybody out? Uh....no. I find that hard to believe. I nailed us IN! Oh snap!

Hold the Mayo by ragu4u 12-31-11

What you always doin down here in the dark? I'm making sandwiches. What kinda sandwiches ya make wit no bread? Mayo sandwiches. Well clean it up. Ya got most of it on the floor. Wanna lick my fingers?

The Complainer by ragu4u 1-01-12

Something wrong? We always wind up here after midnight on New Years Eve... ...drunk on your $2.00 altar wine sipped out of Dixie Cups. I feel like a cheap slut. Hey, I took down the crucifix. What more do you want? You could have at least hid the kiddy porn.

Poor Chen by ragu4u 1-01-12

Happy New Year, Jenny! How's about a big, wet, tongue kiss... ...and then we jump in the sack for some hot anal sex? This Panel Omitted For Being Waaay Too Obvious!

Double Quarterback Sneak by ragu4u 1-02-12

Lookin at Denver, Pops? Screw Denver. I'm lookin at Tebow. Bill Maher is making Tim look pretty bad, ya know? Oh I got plans for Mr. Maher. Just thought you may wanna pay Bill a visit. That's what I've got Tebow & Warner for; they're gonna double team that bastard.