Chen Chan Mourns by ragu4u 5-20-12

"Mark Zuckerberg has finally married his long time girlfriend, Priscilla Chan." Huh? What has my poor daughter gone & done? At least, she could have married a man with a job.

And...they're off! by ragu4u 5-20-12

RE: The Preakness "I'll Have Another" won yesterday. You'll have another one of WHAT, yesterday? The horse, dummy... "I'll Have Another". Whatch gonna do with another horse? I didn't even know you had ONE. I didn't win. "I'll Have Another" won, you moron. Frankly, it sounds like you don't need another one . You've had one too many, already.

CC 555 by ragu4u 5-21-12

Now, get out and stay out...the both of you! What's HIS problem? "Dungeons and Dragons" has no car chases.

National Treasures by ragu4u 5-21-12

Take off, fella. Hey, I just had to pee so bad I.... I don't wanna hear it. Scram. It's just a stream. Fish pee in it for christ's sake.... Thanks for coming down here to get me at "The Museum of Natural History", dear. They threw you out for peeing in the Grand Canyon exhibit again, didn't they?

Say It Ain't So! by ragu4u 5-22-12

Did ya hear? D.C. Comics is coming out with a gay super hero. Really? No way! What would that even look like, dude? Use your imagination. N'k hmmm. Thay fella, you need thome thaving? Oh shit. Wake me up, dude!

The "Two Fly Rule" by ragu4u 5-23-12

This is dangerous. I better leave. These new Chinese regulations SUCK!

LESS Than He Bargained For by ragu4u 5-23-12

Mr. Zuckerberg is on the top floor & about to jump. I'll get him on the phone. Don't try to stop me. My mind is made up. Don't be silly sir. You may have lost 2 billion dollars in the IPO but you have tons of money left. The suicide note says... "I married her and she STILL wouldn't give up any head".

New Drug on Missouri Death Row by ragu4u 5-24-12

Morgue at a Missouri Prison I told you this Propofol would kill him. Yeah, but you didn't say it would.... ...take seven injections. So? We got the same result; dead as a doornail. Just look at him. This was one of the spectators, doc.

TSA "What Vetting Process"? by ragu4u 5-25-12

This is so embarrassing. I think he used to be a priest. Gotta frisk ya, ma'am. Airline rules, ya know. Say, aren't you the defrocked priest from St. Michael's Parish who raped all those teachers? That's ancient history, ma'am. I've turned over a new leaf. I'll use another line. I can't let you touch me. It's way too creepy. Fine with me, bitch. It's that 4 yr. old girl behind you that I want to get my hands on. A terrorist if ever I saw one.

Giving Back by ragu4u 5-25-12

Wow. Jenna Jamison at OUR sperm bank. OK doc, how do we go about this? Don't you worry about a thing. Leave it to me. Alrighty. Nurse, bring a bottle of "Syrup of Ipecac" and a one large bucket. Better make that two.

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The Devil You Say (Pt. 1) by ragu4u 5-26-12

Early 1970 Hello, I'm William Peter Blatty. Meh, so what? I'd like to interview you for a book I'm doing. A book? Maybe movie rights, too. Ka-ching!!!! Interested? Do I get top billing?

The Devil You say (Pt.2) by ragu4u 5-26-12

Actually, no. That honor goes to a priest. What? Priests have no color. Their bland. Not this priest. OK, then but you better make it good. I'll be watching. 1972 on the set.... Alright Padre, here's where you start the exorcism of the little child. Little child? (Thank you God. I AM in heaven.)

The Devil You say (Pt.3) by ragu4u 5-26-12

Hello liitle girl. Are you my co-star? Yeth thir. I'm gonna get in bed half drethed now. Good. Good. This pervert is better than I could have hoped for. Fine. I'll get naked too. What the f....?

The Devil You Say (Pt. 4) Final Cut by ragu4u 5-26-12

You idiot. I won't allow that priest to do THAT! Then he's just another colorless charcter. Not for long. I'll fix everything. Now go to hell, why don't you? Bitch, bitch, bitch! Pea thoup? Really? I get to puke it all over him? The more the better. It just dawned on me his character had no color.

Global Economics by ragu4u 5-27-12

Somewhere in Asia... I think I'll watch "Mrs. Eastwood & Company" on the E Network. Oh my God! Francesca Eastwood just burned up a brand new $100,000 "Hermes Birkin Hand Bag" for no reason. She'll probably want to buy another right away. Good thing they only cost $1.50 each to make here in the sweatshop.

Unappreciated by ragu4u 5-28-12

Breaking News...Today in Miami a man was shot by police for eating the face off another man. So what? I give up face every day but nobody puts ME on TV!

When Will We Ever Learn? by ragu4u 5-28-12

Memorial Day Get over it. You're dead. You lost, Johnny Reb! Our dead are no deader than yer dead, yankee scum. Wait a minute. We're supposed give up all the hate...at least TODAY! No way, yankee bastard. I'll gut ya like a Christmas turkey. Regroup for another attack, my boys. It's just too bad. Memorial Day doesn't mean shit to some people.

Why You Must Be 21 by ragu4u 5-28-12

Welcome to the "Super Fly Club." So you're open for business? Sure am. So what you're saying is that your FLY is open? Security!

On the Talk Circuit by ragu4u 5-29-12

Mr. President, The Drudge Report reported we just sent paratroopers into North Korea. Damn it. Damn, damn, damn, damn, damn it . How could this news have leaked out, sir? I have no idea. Get down to the war room and see what you can find out. I'll stay up here with the family. Moments later.... You called me, Barry baby? Michelle, now you've done it. What have I always told you? Loose lips sink ships!

CC 556 The Dashboard Ornament by ragu4u 5-30-12

Original "Good Friday" And whom art thou? I'm ragu4u, Jesus & I'm from the future. See that crowd coming? They're gonna kill ya. Don't be silly. My diciples will protect me. Judas is my bodyguard. I wouldn't count on HIM. Ditch that bastard and head for the hills. Present Day..... Gee, I wish I had never made so many of these. I can't even unload them at "Dollar Tree".

Bloomberg Strikes Again by ragu4u 5-31-12

At a NYC 7-11 in the near future! Haji, gimme a 32 oz. "Slurpee". No can do. It's too much sugar. Mayor Bloomberg signed it into law. "F" that rich old bastard. Ok then, make it a 20 oz. "Slurpee". Still against the law young man. Don't you know that sugar is bad for you? The Unintended Consequence Yo Dweezil, hook me up with a barrel of "Bud Light". Coming right up, my calorie concious young lad.

Getting it Straight by ragu4u 6-01-12

I can't believe all these news stories about cannibals these days. Why? You a Vegan or something? No...I just don't see all the fuss. Oh really? You wanna try to eat ME? Oh, yes. Just let me kneel down while you expose your sausage. You've misunderstood, buddy . Allow me to clarify.

The One Track Mind by ragu4u 6-02-12

I say, old bean, they're renaming Big Ben. It's now going to be known as Elizabeth's Tower. Big Ben the porn star? He's gonna be named after the queen of England? No, no.....BIG BEN...the huge clock in London. There are no huge cocks in London. They're all in Africa or California or East St. Louis, maybe. Not cock you fool, CLOCK! That big donging thing in the London tower. You must be nuts. That big dong thing was John Holmes from Hollywood but he's dead now.

A Thousand Words Not Needed by ragu4u 6-03-12

Why is it you always only say one word? I would venture to think you know more than one. uh.... What if you tried to describe a beautiful landscape like the Grand Canyon, for instance. Um... You surley can't describe THAT with one word, can you? ...Groovy?

ragu4u's Sour Grapes by ragu4u 6-03-12

Wow! RandomComicLayoutGuy has just posted his 3,000th comic. Congrats, dude. Keep up the good work! I really hate him. He's so shallow. He only makes one kind of comics... "Good" ones!