After several months I have regained access to the internet. I intend to continue my "Purgatory Theatre" series soon, but in the meantime I have created some strips inspired by my new job...

DMSO Goes Hardcore by DMSO 9-10-03

...Yes sir, we do sell nails. They're over in the far right corner... Thanks mate. Boss, what is wrong with our customers? We're a hardware shop, surely it's bleeding obvious that we sell nails. Maybe you should try making a more prominent display of them... Hello. Do you sell nails?

Old people visit hardware shops more often than you'd think by DMSO 9-10-03

...but they buy considerably less hardware than I'd like Och, I don't know if I want this one really, it's not quite the same one I had before...it was so good really, but it's different nowadays...don't build to last... ...my old one was a wedding present...ninety years it's lasted...longer than my husband did, and certainly more useful... ...how much did you say it was?...oh deary me, I wasn't expecting to pay that much...I say, are those mops? How lovely...

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Absorbed directly through the skin.

My favourite SC statistic has returned, huzzah!

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Dad was flammable

I still love DMSO.

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Batman created by Bob Kane

Taking another brief break from Purgatory Theatre...

Hardcore Ethics, Pt 1 by DMSO 9-22-03

Boss, is stealing wrong, in your opinion? What a strange question, DMSO. Well, the foundation of our culture's moral code is based in the Judeo-Christian faith... ...and as there is a specific commandment against such activities, the conclusion is not a hard one. Why do you ask anyway? Just thinking. I'm pretty certain I'm not paying you for such whimsy.

Hardcore Ethics, Pt 2 by DMSO 9-22-03

Hey boss, you remember that conversation we were having before...? About theft? Yes, I do recall that brief exchange. Why? Is theft always wrong? What if you had to steal to feed your starving family? Would that be justifiable? Well, in that situation I suppose it could be, as long no one else suffered significantly as a result. Again, I must ask: why? Just pondering... If you're trying to ask subtly for a raise, the answer will still be my derisive laughter.

Hardcore Ethics, Pt 3 by DMSO 9-22-03

What about stealing from large corporations? Is that more forgiveable than stealing from an individual? I suppose so, but it's still not really acceptable... What about, say, shoplifting from Tesco? Again, only if you have valid reason, like having to feed your family or - What if I want the cute security guard to catch me red-handed? - or anything but that, in fact.

Hardcore Ethics, Pt 4 by DMSO 9-22-03

I wouldn't mind getting roughed up a bit by that guard. I don't need these images... I'd like to have him in hot pursuit! Stop this. I wonder if he carries handcuffs? You are the principal source of badness in the world.

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Absorbed directly through the skin.

Okay, this one is only loosely based on reality.

Blasphemy, blasphe-you, blasphe-everybody by DMSO 10-06-03

"I had a strange day at work today..." Ah, the paint delivery. Do you need a signature? Just here, thanks. Aren't you going to bring it in? I can't do that. If I left the van unattended, someone could just walk off with something, and I'd get in a lot of trouble. But there was someone in the van with you... Yeah, but he's Jesus. If someone tried to steal, he'd just turn the other cheek.

Blasphemy, blasphe-you, blasphe-everybody (2) by DMSO 10-06-03

Wow. That guy sounds like a right arse. So did he stop messing around and help you at all in the end? No, it actually was Jesus in the van. He sat and watched while I unloaded the entire delivery. I nailed the lazy swine to a board.

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Absorbed directly through the skin.

What's DMSO like anyway? And what ever happened to it?

A modern day Robin Hood by DMSO 10-14-03

I'd like to be a modern-day Robin Hood. Only instead of just plain stealing from the rich, I'd hit them in the face with a baby sized lump of gold, and then take their money. And give it to the poor? I'd probably spit on the poor...

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Absorbed directly through the skin.