I pumped out this tripe today. Anyone want to take the title character for a spin?

Porkbutt MCFucknipples is on the case I by Spankling 3-14-04

MS McFucknipples! You're my only hope! My mother has been killed! Now calm down. Just unzip your pants and we'll get to the bottom of this. Are you a private eye or a hooker? Depends. I'll find your mother's killer for $200 a day plus expenses. If you can't afford that we'll get on with the blowjob.

Porkbutt McFucknipples II by Spankling 3-14-04

I founder her slumped over the kitchen table with a gag in her mouth made from velvet rope and a used butt plug. * gobble slurp * Go on... * snarf * Did you notice anything unusual? Just that she was dead. Oh... wait... oh... **** SPLORK! *** What were we talking about? *gulp* The 5 bucks you're gonna give me for the head and another $5 for the swallow. And about your dead mother.

Porkbutt McFucknipples III by Spankling 3-14-04

THIS is where you live? Yes. Me, dad, and until this morning, mom. Why? No reason. Well hello. Porky honey! Did you come by to collect that extra fiver from last week? Hi Joe. I thought your son tasted familiar.

Porkbutt McFucknipples IV by Spankling 3-14-04

So you know my dad? Sure. He's been a regular customer for years. Really? What kind of cases have you solved for him? You're cute, kid.

Porkbutt McFucknipples V by Spankling 3-14-04

I've just examined your dead mom. And I can tell you this is an open and shut case. I thought you were in the kitchen getting ass-humped by my dad. I was multi-tasking. Oh. Would you mind multi-tasking my tool while you explain? The pieces *gobble* all fell in to place when I recognized the smell on that buttplug your mom has in her mouth. *lick* Less talk. More tongue.

[Click to view comic: 'Porkbutt McFucknipples VI']
[Click to view comic: 'Porkbutt McFucknipples VII']
[Click to view comic: 'Porkbutt McFucknipples VIII']

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"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet

I haven't read anything so disgustingly funny since the magna carta.

"I thought you tasted familiar."

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Chicken Feather Bed Bugs Bunny Hop Sing Out Side Street Walker Texas Ranger Cookie Dough Boy Wonder Years

I don't remember anything in the Magna Carta about giving anyone blow-jobs, but that was brilliant.

Oh yes, I also "borrowed" your "eyes"-style sig. Hope that's OK.

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Please replace the handset, and try again.

Funny shit, Spank.

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The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

ha ha ha ha ha ha