It like the back of a newspaper just got funnier.

Classified Advertisements. by smamurai 4-16-04

Cycle Times Monthly For sale. One pair of slightly stretched lycra cycling shorts. £1 or £3.50 with full bottle of Febreeze. The Pink Pages Exchange. 1 gerbil (4"diameter) for slightly thicker gerbil. Hamster considered. No rabbits. The Redneck Reeder For sale. 1 family-sized bed. Not much burn damage, $2 or will swap for tyre-swing.

Classifieds Continued. by smamurai 4-16-04

Which? Dog Monthly Japanese Chin. 3 months old. Excellent bitch. £300. Beijing Gazette Charlie Chin. 3 weeks old. Dishonorable mother. Sell for £12,000. Hollywood Knives Medical Journal Chins. Made in Korea. Lose your double at the double. High success rate. $3000.

Classifieds cont. pg3 by smamurai 4-16-04

Israeli Musical Times Wanted. Drummer for band 'the Hamas and the Papas'. We are heavily influenced by ABBA and strong arm tactics. Blue Peter Round-up Need. Extra large time-capsule for Blue Peter Garden. Must be approximately the size of Caron Keating. Which? Dog Monthly Seeks. Dachshund to catch missing gerbil (4"diameter). Must love the wet.

More as i think of them. Please add.

---
GOVT. Warning: Do not smoke around children they will badger you for fags.

Funny as shit, smam. Good show.

---
The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

Probably the best stuff you've done to date. I had a good old giggle at those.

---
Please replace the handset, and try again.

Classified Advertisements: The Next page! by smamurai 4-26-04

Martial Arts Today Sharing a room? Send off £21.99 to learn the art that Japanese Masters have known for centuries, Stealth Wanking! Marital Aids Tonight Have you heard the buzz? Eliminate breakfast table awkwardness. Send £21.99 to learn how to secretly sound-proof your mothers room in minutes. Martial Law Tomorrow It's everyone's nightmare isn't it? Send £21.99 and we will kill Arsenio Hall and Sammo Hung. For an extra 2 bucks Cynthia Rothrock dies also.

---
GOVT. Warning: Do not smoke around children they will badger you for fags.

I'd like to inquire about the "Stealth Wanking?"

nice ass, uh, ads, smam

---
Chicken Feather Bed Bugs Bunny Hop Sing Out Side Street Walker Texas Ranger Cookie Dough Boy Wonder Years