I have this talking dictionary that sounds EXACTLY like the good doctor. So one time I made up it say, "I am Doctor Stephen Hawking. Dan (my name, though I'm not big or evil) is not home right now. He is a chicken fucker." and put it on my answering machine.
I was in college at the time, and left it on for a couple of weeks but finally took it off when a prospective employer left a confused message one day. Good times.
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I ate a hooker half a bottle of knife.