Randomness 0013 (Viking Hoooo!) by Drexle 11-03-04

Hey. Man, I'm bummed about the election. Yeah, me too. You voted for Kerry too? Nah, I voted for the Viking candidate this year. What? I mean, if this country is going to be a barbaric, warlike theocracy, why go half-assed with the republicans when you can have the real thing? We even have actual war gods.

Randomness 0014 (Viking Hoooo!) by Drexle 11-03-04

I don't think you could draw enough support away from the Republicans with just the promise of a more warlike theocracy. Well, you know we also have a proud history of free trade and extortionist policies. Anything else? We hate gays too... unless of course a little ass destruction happens in the middle of a warzone. That's okay, as long as it's the other guy on the receiving end. Dude, why are you looking at me like that? I'm just planning my next raid.

Randomness 0015 (Viking Hoooo!) by Drexle 11-03-04

Umm... please don't plunder my booty! Okay, but only if you pay the Danegeld. The what? Don't play dumb. Gimme some money and I'll leave you alone. Okay, here's $20! Cool, thanks! See? This Viking party deal is the way to go.

Randomness 0016 (Viking Hoooo!) by Drexle 11-03-04

You realize that what you just did is highly illegal, right? It's not illegal. Politicians do that sort of thing all the time. What do you think all those fat campaign contributions are all about? So that politicians won't cornhole their constituents? Pretty much, yeah. The rich ones, anyway. ... Wait, why are you looking at me like that? I think it's time to pay the Danegeld again.

Randomness 0017 (Viking Hoooo!) by Drexle 11-03-04

But I just gave you money! I don't think it was enough. How much do you want before you'll leave me alone for good, then? Gimme $200. Okay! Here! Take it! Hey, Thanks! I can buy some awesome porn with this. Maybe some mead too.

Randomness 0018 (Viking Hoooo!) by Drexle 11-03-04

The next day... Oh, hi there. Hey, what's up? Not much. You? Not much. It's time to pay the Danegeld, isn't it? I'm almost hoping you won't.

Randomness 0019 (Viking Hoooo!) by Drexle 11-04-04

But I already gave you the $200 you asked for! Well you know, at the time I figured that would do it, but now that I think about it, you're just worth too much money to stop. Okay, here! My wallet! My credit cards! My bank card! Cool, thanks! Now I can fund the army of Nord Karolina! We shall plunder our neighbors to the south! So you can get the Danegeld from them too? Oh hell no! Those fuckers are ugly as sin down there. What if they refused to pay? *shudder*

For those of you wondering what the fuck I'm talking about, here's a historical tip: The Danegeld

Randomness 0020 (Viking Hoooo!) by Drexle 11-04-04

Say, who's that guy behind you? Huh? The one with the funny hat and the big beard. Oh man! That must be my presidential nominee! Rock! Hail! Hail!

Randomness 0021 (Viking Hoooo!) by Drexle 11-04-04

So, what's going on? Oh, not much. Why are you looking at me like that? Oh, just planning my next raid.

Randomness 0022 (Viking Hoooo!) by Drexle 11-04-04

Well, I've got this $220 right here, and some guy's wallet full of cards. Not good enough.

Randomness 0023 (Viking Hoooo!) by Drexle 11-04-04

Haha! That looked painful. I've hardly seen a larger member. Owie... So I guess you're right, they are the next most logical step after the Republican party. .... Are you okay? Ugh.... Sigh, I guess he's just like all the other politicians after all.

Randomness 0024 (Viking Hoooo!) by Drexle 11-04-04

Umm... I don't like that look in your eyes. You know I just gave you my entire life savings, right? Sigh, here, let me at least make it easier for both of us. Dammit, it's no fun if you don't put up a fight!!!