It's about time I started promoting my genius again.

READ!

Conversations with SC Users by MikeyG 11-09-04

In rural areas, the rates of STD infection are way higher than in metropolitan areas on the whole. So much for unrepentant urban sin being more dangerous than quaint country life. Well, I knew that was bullshit from the get-go. And these rural areas are places that you'd expect *under* report because people are ashamed to talk about it, or to even be tested. And unwed mother rates and teen pregnancy rates are high, proportionally, in ANY low-income area, whether it be urban or rural. Yeah, for many different reasons. One of which being that I like to fuck poor chicks bareback.

Choice of a News Generation 5 - Election by MikeyG 11-03-04

This Just In: John Kerry calls Bush to concede election! More on that when information arrives. This Just In: Kerry makes concession speech, declaring Bush the final presidential winner. We're calling this election for Bush. This Just In: Secure in his position as President for another 4 years, Bush has just shed his human guise and is now flying around Washington shitting fire in his demon form. We are so owned.

Choice of a News Generation 6 - Election Aftermath by MikeyG 11-04-04

This Just In: The Bush Administration, in their first move as the returning administration, moved to pass a bill legalizing Cloning. Dick Cheney is said to be authoring the bill. This Just In: Cloning Bill passed, Democrats call it "a desperate bid to silence the scientific community, making this administration more palatable." Perhaps the Bush Admin is hoping to garner more complacency. This Just In: Sources reveal that clones of Cheney are already being produced, in hopes of keeping Cheney in hearts 'til election year 2008. Owned again.

Conversations with SC Users by MikeyG 10-25-04

So, I was doing this teacher-training course in Embra, and didn't want to have to commute from Glasgow every day. So THAT'S why you've not been living with the fam'. And now I'm qualified to teach the Queen's English to savages! I thought maybe your dad finally caught you trying to toss your mom some buttlove. Nope, not been caught yet. That makes one of us.

Pantslessness in the Workplace by MikeyG 10-18-04

Mr. Boorite, I've come to inform you of a request filed by ALL female staff that you (quote) "Sheath those birdlegs". I cannot, sir, for it is discriminatory that you should even ask me to. And how is that? As this card will show, I am a member of the Pantsless Americans of America. This is a magic-markered piece of possibly used paper towel. We're under-funded at the moment.

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The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

Quite!

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Please replace the handset, and try again.

Conversations with SC Users by MikeyG 10-12-04

Mustard makes me shit blood. That's awesome. No, it isn't. Like, is it projectile? No, just activates my 'rhoids. Then tell Mustard or whatever you call him to slow down on the withdraw.

Halloween by MikeyG 10-12-04

What are you going as for Halloween? I'm going as your dad. But you look nothing like him. How can you go as my dad? I smell like shit and hookers.

Happy Job Transition, Jesley! by MikeyG 8-19-04

So is your job officially up now? Yes, and I will be starting a new one in a couple of weeks. Cool! New faces, new places, new spaces. Yes, now I can ingratiate myself with and then completely detatch myself from a whole NEW set of people! So we won't be seeing you around the chat often? Just for a little bit until I can work my way up to cacking off again.

If Howard Dean were Republican by MikeyG 7-22-04

First we're gonna go to the polls! Then we're gonna get in the booth! Then we're gonna pull down our pants! Then we're gonna bend over and spread our cheeks! Then we're gonna vote for Bush! YEEEEEAAAAAAUUUUUUUGGGGGGHHHHHHH!

Joke by MikeyG 7-07-04

Did you hear about the guy who swallowed an entire sheep? He died of massive internal bleating.

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The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

I bought Mikey's greatest hits album and all the songs were good...now when are we gonna finish that series?

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Peeing sitting down is the gift you give yourself.

I think it was Mikey G who said it best when he said 'These are some of my better recent comics'.
Hell I even laughed at the political ones.

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GOVT. Warning: Do not smoke around children they will badger you for fags.

One sunny day I planted a little seed in the ground. Pretty soon MikeyG popped up and spread his petals in the wind, bathing in the radiance of a yellowish sun. The budding young thing stood strong even when rains of derision poured down. I applaud your growth, Mikey-san. Be always like the lotus.

Oh, and finish "The Age of Umfumdisi" series, bitch!

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Chicken Feather Bed Bugs Bunny Hop Sing Out Side Street Walker Texas Ranger Cookie Dough Boy Wonder Years